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Rebooting the Soul: Practices on Motivation, Mindset, and Habits

· 3 min read

In Homer's epic, the hero Odysseus, during his long journey home, faced a deadly temptation—the bewitching songs of the Sirens. Their music was so beautiful that it could cause anyone who heard it to lose their mind and sail toward destruction. However, Odysseus yearned to hear this legendary music yet was deeply aware of its dangers. So, he made a decision that would be remembered for ages: he ordered his crew to seal their ears with wax and had himself tightly bound to the ship's mast. Thus, he could fully experience the enchanting melody without losing his senses, ultimately sailing safely through those treacherous waters.

In each of our life journeys, don't we encounter similar "Sirens"? They are the inertia lurking in our hearts, the trivial matters that wear down our will day after day, the sudden temptations and distractions, and those old habits and negative mindsets that we know are harmful yet find difficult to shake off. Like the Sirens' songs, they sometimes sound gentle and pleasant, promising momentary comfort and joy; other times they act as spells, luring us away from our set course, dragging us into a vortex of confusion and regret.

"Rebooting the Soul" is the "mast and ropes" offered to every "Odysseus" of our era. It does not intend for us to seal our ears with wax, completely isolating ourselves from the noise of the outside world and the turmoil within—because total avoidance is not the essence of life, just as complete indulgence leads only to downfall. Instead, this book aims to grant us a kind of wisdom and strength, much like Odysseus's, to bravely face the various "songs" in life while maintaining a clear mind and a firm sense of direction, to consciously experience, discern, and ultimately master them.

Each exercise in this book is a deep exploration of the soul, a careful calibration of thought patterns, and a practical guide to cultivating good habits. It guides us to recognize the inner driving forces that subtly shape our behaviors, analyzes the mindsets that hinder our progress, and provides concrete, feasible methods to help us establish positive psychological cues and develop persevering action. It encourages us to be like Odysseus, anticipating risks and preparing for them—not through suppression or avoidance, but through building strong inner constraints and clear self-awareness.

When we talk about motivation, we're discussing that initial wind that drives us to set sail; when we explore mindset, we're focusing on that sail that can flexibly respond to changing winds; and when we concentrate on habits, we're actually forging that mast that can stand firm no matter how great the storm. This book aims to help us "reboot" that operating system of the mind that is often obscured by external noise and internal inertia, allowing us to recalibrate our life's compass, to enjoy the scenery along the journey—those moments full of temptation and challenge like the Sirens' songs—while keeping in mind our distant "Ithaca"—the true desires and goals deep in our hearts.

May every friend who opens this book draw strength from it, learn how to "bind themselves to the mast," not for constraint but for the freedom to listen more clearly and move forward more consciously. Let us, in this complex world, both enjoy life's colorful movements and not lose our way home, ultimately reaching our own serenity and abundance.

30-Day Elegance and Social Fluidity Course for the Tech Professional

· 54 min read

Welcome to your 30-day journey towards greater elegance, confidence, and social fluency! This course is designed for a smart tech professional (like you) to refine your presence and people skills in quick, 10-minute daily steps. Each week has a theme and each day includes a practice, a reflection, and an optional resource to deepen your learning. By the end, you’ll stand taller, speak smoother, and navigate social situations with ease. Let’s get started!

Week 1: Physical Presence – Poise and Confidence from the Outside In

Focus: Posture, body language, eye contact, and overall bearing. Small tweaks in how you carry yourself can make a big difference in how others perceive you and how you feel internally. This week you’ll build a strong foundation of confident body language.

Day 1: Straighten Up – Posture Awareness

Good posture is the foundation of an elegant presence. Standing or sitting upright not only makes you look more confident, it actually helps you feel more confident and energized. Research shows that upright posture can boost your mood and self-esteem, whereas slouching tends to increase stress and fear. Slumping forward is a defensive posture that signals insecurity (and even reduces lung capacity by up to 30%, meaning less oxygen to your brain). Today, you’ll become aware of your posture and practice aligning your body for poise.

  • Practice (5 min): Do a quick posture check. Stand with your back against a wall so the back of your head, shoulders, and heels touch it. This is what an upright posture feels like. Now walk away and maintain that alignment – imagine a string pulling the crown of your head up. Set a timer for 5 minutes and sit or stand straight without leaning or slouching. As you work today, notice whenever you hunch over a keyboard or phone; pause and gently roll your shoulders back and down, lifting your chest.
  • Reflect (2-5 min): How did it feel to sit or stand upright? Did you notice any change in your confidence or focus when you fixed your posture? Jot down one situation today where you corrected your posture and how it affected your mood or thinking.
  • Optional: Read“Science Shows Good Posture Really Does Increase Your Confidence” (Inc.) – an article explaining how posture influences your mindset. (Link: Inc. article on posture)

Day 2: Eyes Forward – Building Eye Contact

Elegant, confident people engage others with their eyes. Making appropriate eye contact shows attentiveness and self-assurance. In Western professional culture, looking someone in the eye when talking or listening is seen as polite and sincere. It helps others trust you and remember you. In fact, people are more likely to recall what you said and view you as confident and intelligent if you maintain eye contact. Today’s practice will help you get comfortable with friendly eye contact.

  • Practice (5 min): During a brief conversation today (with a colleague, friend, or even a barista), consciously maintain eye contact a bit longer than you normally would. Aim to hold the other person’s gaze around 3–5 seconds at a time before naturally looking away. If you’re alone, practice by looking into your own eyes in a mirror while speaking a few lines, or watch a video of someone talking and imagine maintaining eye contact. A useful tip: try noticing the eye color of each person you speak with – it ensures you meet their eyes.
  • Reflect (2-5 min): Did sustained eye contact feel easy or awkward? How did the person respond – did you sense more engagement or connection? Write a few notes. If it was uncomfortable, that’s okay – you’re building a new habit. Note any cultural instincts (for example, if you grew up avoiding eye contact with authority figures) and how you might balance those with Western norms.
  • Optional: Watch“Eye Contact Tips for Confidence” (Video) – Simple strategies to improve eye contact in conversations. (Link: YouTube – Eye Contact Tips)

Day 3: Open Up – Confident Body Language

Beyond posture and eyes, your overall body language communicates volumes before you even speak. Today, focus on keeping an open and relaxed stance. Avoid closed-off poses like hunching your shoulders, crossing your arms tightly, or keeping your head down. An open posture – arms uncrossed, chest open, standing tall – signals friendliness and confidence. By contrast, folded arms or a lowered head can inadvertently signal defensiveness or anxiety.

  • Practice (5 min): Do a body language scan in a mirror. Stand as you normally do and notice your default stance. Now adjust into a more open pose: feet about shoulder-width apart, arms resting at your sides (or casually clasped behind your back), weight evenly distributed. Soften your knees and adopt a relaxed but upright posture. Practice walking around the room for a few minutes maintaining this posture – imagine you’re a confident leader striding into a room. If you catch yourself fidgeting or crossing your arms today (maybe while listening in a meeting), gently remind yourself to relax your arms and adopt an open stance.
  • Reflect (2-5 min): When you opened your posture, how did your mood or energy change? Did you feel more “exposed” or more confident? Write down one observation, for example: “Noticed I often stuff my hands in pockets when nervous – will keep them at my sides next time.” Becoming aware is progress!
  • Optional: Read“How to Understand Body Language” (Verywell Mind) – Key signs of open vs. closed body positions and what they convey. (Link: Verywell Mind on Body Language)

Day 4: The Warm Smile – Expressiveness and Facial Ease

A gentle smile and a friendly expression are hallmarks of an elegant, approachable presence. Many tech geeks (and many of us, frankly) can forget our “default face” when deep in thought, sometimes coming across as stern or unapproachable. Today, practice softening your facial expression. Smiling (appropriately) not only makes others feel at ease, it can make you appear more intelligent and likable. It also helps you feel more positive by releasing tension. We’re not aiming for a constant grin, just an easy, pleasant demeanor.

  • Practice (5 min): Stand before a mirror. First, relax your face completely. Then lift the corners of your mouth slightly – a subtle, natural smile. Notice how even a small smile warms your expression. Next, practice transitioning to a fuller smile that shows a bit of teeth, as if greeting someone you’re happy to see. Observe your eyes – genuine smiles (“smizing”) reach the eyes. Now throughout the day, when greeting coworkers or passing people in the hallway, flash a brief friendly smile. If you’re on video calls, remember to nod and smile when appropriate.
  • Reflect (2-5 min): How conscious were you of your facial expression today? Did intentionally smiling change any interactions? Note if people seemed to respond more warmly. Also reflect on how you felt – sometimes smiling can actually lift our own mood. Jot down one scenario (like “smiled and said hi to the security guard, got a big smile back – felt good!”).
  • Optional: Read“The Effect of Smiling on Person Perception” – Summary of research finding that smiling people are seen as more approachable and even more intelligent. (Link: Taylor & Francis Online)

Day 5: Move with Poise – Graceful Movement

How you move is as important as how you stand. Jerky, rushed movements can undermine an elegant impression, while controlled, deliberate movements exude calm and confidence. Think of classic “poise” – it’s in the way you walk, reach for objects, or gesture. Today’s goal is to inject a bit more mindful grace into your motions. This doesn’t mean being slow or pretentious; it means not crashing into chairs or nervously twitching.

  • Practice (5 min): Take a short “mindful walk” around your office or home. Pay attention to your pace and posture as you walk. Try to walk just a tad slower than usual, with a smooth, even stride. Imagine balancing a book on your head to keep your head level and posture tall (this old trick actually works!). Also, practice a simple action like picking up a coffee mug or typing, but do it with 10% more calm and deliberation than usual. If you tend to fidget (tapping your foot or pen), catch yourself and take a deep breath to still that movement.
  • Reflect (2-5 min): Did slowing down and moving deliberately make you feel different? Many people notice they feel more in control. Note one change you observed – for example, “When I walked slightly slower into the meeting room, I felt less anxious and people actually looked up and acknowledged me.” Also, note any awkward moments (bumped a desk, etc.) and how you corrected your movements.
  • Optional: Watch“Body Language Expert Explains How to Show Confidence” (Wired video) – Former FBI agent Joe Navarro demonstrates confident movement and gestures. (Link: YouTube/Wired)

Day 6: First Impressions – Greetings and Introductions

Today, we’ll tie together your posture, eye contact, and smile into the simple act of greeting someone. A confident handshake (if appropriate), a clear greeting, and good eye contact form an elegant first impression. Research suggests people form impressions within seconds, and 55% of that impression can be based on appearance and body language. So let’s make those few seconds count. You’ll practice introducing yourself as if meeting a new colleague, focusing on your physical presence.

  • Practice (5 min): Imagine meeting someone new at work (or actually do this with a coworker you don’t know well). Practice a firm but not crushing handshake: web of your hand meets the web of the other’s, one or two confident pumps. At the same time, smile gently and make eye contact. Say “Hello, I’m [Your Name]” in a clear, upbeat tone. If you don’t usually introduce yourself, practice this out loud a few times alone. Also rehearse a polite nod or head bow if handshakes aren’t customary – the key is to acknowledge the person warmly. You can even practice handing over a business card or swapping names in a mirror to see your body language.
  • Reflect (2-5 min): How do you feel about your greeting now? Write down which element is strongest (perhaps you smile easily) and which to improve (maybe speak louder, or shake hands more firmly). If you actually introduced yourself to someone new or greeted a stranger in the elevator, note what went well or felt awkward. Each first impression is practice for the next!
  • Optional: Read“Making the Most of First Impressions” – Tips on confident handshakes, eye contact, and body language in the first 7 seconds. (Link: Glatfelter Insurance Blog)

Day 7: Reflection & Milestone – One Week of Presence

Congratulations on completing Week 1! By now, you’ve likely become more aware of your posture and how you carry yourself. Today, consolidate those gains.

  • Practice (5 min): Re-do the Day 1 wall posture exercise and compare how it feels now. Then take a short video of yourself (10 seconds) walking across a room, turning, and saying hello (you can pretend to greet an imaginary person). This is just for you – to objectively see your progress. Stand tall, smile, and use a friendly tone in the video.
  • Reflect (5 min): Play back the video. Do you notice improvements in posture or eye contact compared to how you think you looked a week ago? Write a short journal entry about Week 1: What changes have you noticed in your physical presence? Perhaps you catch yourself slouching less or feeling more confident making eye contact. Also note how these physical changes affect your mental state (e.g., feeling slightly more confident or calm in meetings). This is a milestone – celebrate it!
  • Optional: Read“Heads Up! Good Posture Helps Your Mood and Confidence” – a short Psychology Today piece reinforcing what you’ve practiced this week. (Link: Psychology Today)

Week 2: Verbal Communication – Clarity, Warmth, and Small Talk Savvy

Focus: Voice tone, speaking clearly, active listening, and conversation skills (including small talk). This week you’ll work on how you speak and interact verbally, building confident expression and social ease in one-on-one or small group settings. Great verbal communicators are made through practice, not born. Let’s start building those skills!

Day 8: Find Your Voice – Tone and Volume

Your voice is a powerful tool. Speaking in a clear, steady tone (not too soft, not a monotone) instantly makes you sound more confident and elegant. A well-controlled voice – “vocal presence” – can transform the impact of your message. Today, focus on breathing and supporting your voice to come out strong and clear.

  • Practice (5 min): Start with a quick breathing exercise: sit or stand up straight, inhale deeply through your nose for 4 counts, feeling your belly expand (diaphragmatic breathing), then exhale for 6 counts. Do this 3–4 times to relax and support your voice. Next, read a few sentences from a book or article out loud. Concentrate on speaking slowly and clearly, with enough volume to fill the room (or at least so someone 10 feet away could hear). Pretend you’re explaining something to someone in the back row. Pay attention to enunciating consonants. Bonus: Warm up your vocal tone by humming for 30 seconds before reading – it resonantly warms your throat.
  • Reflect (2-5 min): How does your voice sound to you when you focus on breathing and clarity? Did you notice a difference (perhaps louder or steadier)? Jot down how confident or hesitant you felt speaking out loud. If possible, record your voice on your phone for half a minute and listen back – hearing yourself can be eye-opening. Note one aspect you like (e.g. “my voice is pleasantly soft”) and one to improve (“could speak a bit louder in meetings”).
  • Optional: WatchJulian Treasure’s TED Talk: “How to Speak So That People Want to Listen” – Great insights on voice (pace, pitch, etc.) from a communication expert. (Link: TED Talk – Julian Treasure)*

Day 9: Clear and Concise – Ditch the Filler Words

Fillers like “um,” “uh,” “you know,” and “like” can undercut an otherwise elegant impression. Polished speakers use pauses instead of fillers, making their speech sound thoughtful and confident. Today’s goal is to become aware of filler words and practice replacing them with a brief silence. Remember, a pause may feel long to you, but it feels natural to listeners – and it sounds much more composed than “ummm.” As experts note, embracing a pause is a key technique to eliminate crutch words.

  • Practice (5 min): Choose a simple topic (for example, “what I did last weekend” or a project at work) and speak about it extemporaneously for one minute. As you do, consciously slow down and whenever you feel an “um” coming, just pause briefly, then continue. It’s okay if you pause a lot; the goal is to get comfortable with silence. Another trick: try counting one, two silently in your head instead of saying “um” when you need to think. If possible, practice this in a low-stakes situation today – perhaps when a colleague or friend asks you a casual question, take a small breath instead of filling space with “so…”.
  • Reflect (2-5 min): Was it hard to cut out the filler words? Many of us use them unconsciously. Write down which filler you use most (did you catch yourself saying “like” or “you know” often?). Also note how your speech sounded with intentional pauses – maybe slower but more authoritative. This awareness is progress! Over time, you’ll start hearing yourself in real conversations and can gently self-correct.
  • Optional: Read“How to Stop Saying ‘Um,’ ‘Ah,’ and ‘You Know’” (HBR) – Quick tips on reducing verbal fillers by pausing and breathing. (Link: HBR article on filler words)

Day 10: Color Your Speech – Expressiveness and Emphasis

Now that you’re speaking clearly, let’s add some life to your voice. An elegant communicator doesn’t drone in a monotone; they vary their pitch and emphasis to keep listeners engaged. Today, practice adding emphasis to key words and using intonation (up and down modulation) to convey enthusiasm or nuance. Think of how you can say the same phrase in different tones – for example, “I really appreciate your help” can sound sincere with the right emphasis, or sarcastic with the wrong one. We want sincere 😄.

  • Practice (5 min): Pick a sentence (for example: “This is a great opportunity for our team.”) and say it out loud 3 ways: once with excitement, once with neutrality, and once with seriousness – notice how tone changes the feel. Next, read a paragraph from a novel or news article aloud and underline or stress important words as you speak (“important words” like this). Also practice ending sentences firmly (downward inflection) for statements, and upward inflection for friendly questions. If you tend to speak in a flat tone, intentionally raise your pitch slightly on a positive statement to sound more upbeat. Conversely, if you speak too high or uptalk (turn statements into questions), practice a relaxed, level drop at the end of sentences to sound more confident.
  • Reflect (2-5 min): Note any discoveries: Did emphasizing certain words feel awkward or make the message clearer? How about your pitch – do you suspect you speak too high, too low, or just right? Reflect in your journal: “I tried lowering my voice at ends of sentences – sounded more confident.” or “When I put more energy in my tone, I felt a bit silly, but coworkers seemed to respond positively.” This awareness will help you adjust your natural speaking style.
  • Optional: Watch“5 Techniques to Speak with Confidence” (Video) – A communication coach covers pacing, tone, and emphasis to sound more engaging. (Link: YouTube – “Speak with Confidence” by Alex Lyon)

Day 11: The Art of Listening – Active Listening Basics

Elegant communication isn’t just about how you talk – it’s equally about how you listen. Being a good listener makes others feel valued and comfortable around you, which is key to social fluidity. Today, we focus on active listening: giving your full attention, nodding or giving small “mm-hmm” cues, and summarizing what you heard. Studies show active listeners are perceived as more competent and likable, and it’s a core skill in emotional intelligence.

  • Practice (5-10 min): In your next conversation today (it could be a work discussion or a chat with a friend), practice active listening. This means: put away distractions (phone down, eyes on the speaker), nod or say “I see” at appropriate moments, and after they finish, paraphrase one of their key points (“So, you’re saying that the timeline is tight, but you have a plan to manage it, right?”). If you don’t have a suitable live conversation today, use a podcast or YouTube video: listen to a 2-minute segment of someone speaking, and then summarize aloud what they said as if you are responding.
  • Reflect (2-5 min): How did it feel to deeply focus on listening rather than planning your reply? Write down one thing you noticed – perhaps you caught details you’d normally miss, or the speaker responded positively when you echoed their thoughts. If you paraphrased someone’s point, how did they react? Many will show relief or enthusiasm that you got it. Note: If it felt unnatural to paraphrase aloud, that’s okay; even silently summarizing others’ points in your mind can improve concentration.
  • Optional: Read“What Is Active Listening?” (HBR) – Highlights the benefits of active listening and tips to practice it. (Link: HBR – Active Listening)

Day 12: Small Talk Starter – Breaking the Ice

Time to tackle small talk, that seemingly trivial chatter about weather, weekends, or the latest Netflix show. For a self-described geek, small talk might feel superficial or awkward. But it’s a social grease – a way to build rapport and transition into deeper connections. The good news: small talk is a skill you can practice and even script initially. Also, it has hidden benefits – studies find that regularly chatting with a variety of people (even strangers or acquaintances) can boost happiness. Today you’ll prepare a go-to arsenal of light topics and questions, so you’re never at a loss for words in casual encounters.

  • Practice (5 min): Prepare 3 simple small-talk questions or topics that you can pull out in common situations (at the coffee machine, before a meeting starts, while waiting for a shuttle, etc.). For example: (1) “Did you do anything fun over the weekend?” (or for Monday, “How’s your week going so far?”), (2) a comment about the environment: “This office is freezing today, isn’t it?” or “I love that laptop sticker – are you a Star Wars fan?”, (3) a current non-controversial event: “Have you seen the new Marvel movie?” or “I heard the local festival is this weekend, ever been?”. Write your three go-to openers on a sticky note. Bonus: Use one today! Initiate a 2-3 minute chat with a colleague or a neighbor using one of your prepared openers. Remember to smile and use the listening skills from Day 11.
  • Reflect (2-5 min): How comfortable or awkward did it feel to start a light conversation? If you used one, note the response (maybe you learned a colleague loves hiking or your neighbor is also into a TV show). If you didn’t get a chance, reflect on which opener you could have used in a situation that passed (e.g., you rode the elevator with the CEO and realized afterward you could have commented on the company picnic). Write any small talk topic that seemed to click – you can reuse it. Over time these will become natural.
  • Optional: Read“How to Make Small Talk in English – 100 Questions & Examples” (Berlitz Blog) – An extensive list of small talk ideas and when to use them, great for a non-native English speaker to build confidence. (Link: Berlitz Small Talk Guide)

Day 13: Join the Conversation – Group Dynamics

Navigating a group conversation can be intimidating, especially if you’re more comfortable one-on-one or talking about work topics only. Today, we focus on social fluidity in group settings – like lunch with colleagues or a small networking event. Key skills: finding a natural moment to join in, and reading the room for when to speak vs. listen. A simple tactic is to listen for a topic you can relate to, then contribute a light comment or question. Also, don’t worry about dominating the talk – being a good listener in a group is just as important.

  • Practice (time varies): If possible, put yourself in a group chat situation today – maybe join coworkers at lunch or a short team coffee break (even a virtual group chat or Slack channel can work for practice). Observe the flow for a minute, then chime in at an appropriate gap. For example, if people are chatting about a show or sport you know, you might say, “I just started that series too – it’s awesome!” or ask, “Who’s your favorite character so far?” If you have no knowledge of the topic, you can still participate by asking a question (“I haven’t seen that yet – would you recommend it?”). The goal is to participate at least once. If a live group isn’t an option today, simulate by listening to a roundtable discussion (or a group podcast) and practice mentally formulating what you could say next.
  • Reflect (5 min): Group dynamics reflection: Did you manage to insert yourself into the conversation? How? Write down the scenario and what you said. If you stayed quiet, analyze why – did you feel you’d interrupt? (In that case, remember many people welcome new input – sometimes you have to assert a little.) Perhaps you felt out of the topic – maybe next time you’ll ask a question to learn. Note one thing you did well (e.g., “I listened and laughed at the right times, so even if I spoke little, I was part of the group”) and one thing to try next time (“I’ll prepare one anecdote to share if they talk about weekend plans”).
  • Optional: Read“The Ultimate Guide to Joining Group Conversations” – Tips on how to smoothly enter and contribute to an ongoing group chat without feeling awkward. (Link: Become More Compelling – Group Conversations)*

Day 14: Reflection & Milestone – Communication Skills

Two weeks down! You’ve worked on both talking and listening. It’s time to reflect on your verbal communication progress. By now, you might notice you say “um” less in meetings, or you’ve successfully had a few pleasant small talk exchanges. Maybe you feel braver chiming in with your ideas. Let’s consolidate that progress.

  • Practice (5 min): Have a mini conversation review with yourself. Think of a recent interaction this week – perhaps a meeting, a casual chat, or a phone call. Re-play it in your mind and consider: How was my tone? Did I speak clearly? Did I listen well and respond? If possible, find a quiet spot and speak out loud a segment of that conversation the way you wish it had gone. (For example, re-state your points from a meeting more succinctly, or practice the small talk you could have made at the elevator.) This “rehearsal after the fact” helps reinforce good habits.
  • Reflect (5 min): Write a short summary of improvements in your communication. Some prompts: Do you feel more confident speaking up? Are you pausing instead of saying “um”? Did someone respond positively to your listening or your small talk? Also note any compliment or feedback you received (maybe a colleague said “Good point!” in a meeting – that counts as positive feedback). Finally, list one speaking habit and one listening habit you want to keep developing in the coming weeks. This is your Week 2 milestone – you’re likely noticeably more communicative and at ease than Day 1.
  • Optional: Read“Why Small Talk Is Not So Small” – A short piece on the benefits of casual conversations in building relationships (and even creativity). (Link: Harvard Business Review Blog)

Week 3: Emotional Fluency – Self-Awareness and Empathy

Focus: Tuning into emotions (both yours and others’), managing stress, and showing empathy. This week’s practices are a bit more introspective – they involve mindfulness and reflection to build your emotional intelligence. The goal is to be calm and authentic under pressure and to connect with others on a human level (geeks have feelings too!). Emotional fluency will make your elegance genuine, not just an act.

Day 15: Know Thyself – Mood Check-Ins

Emotional self-awareness is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence. To navigate social situations gracefully, it helps to recognize your own feelings as they arise. Are you nervous? Excited? Frustrated? Today’s exercise is about naming and acknowledging your emotions in real-time, which reduces their grip. Studies show that regularly reflecting on emotions (like through journaling) improves mood and emotional clarity.

  • Practice (2 min, multiple times): Set a quiet alarm or reminder 2–3 times today (for example, mid-morning, afternoon, and evening). When it goes off, pause and ask yourself: “What am I feeling right now?” and “Why?” It could be as simple as “I’m a bit anxious because I have a deadline,” or “I feel relaxed after lunch.” If you can, jot a one-line note in a memo or journal each time, naming the emotion and one cause. Don’t judge the feeling – just note it. This is a mini emotional check-in.
  • Reflect (5 min): At day’s end, review your notes. What range of emotions did you observe? Perhaps you noticed stress peaks or that you’re generally more content than you thought. Write a short entry: “Today I felt [X] when [Y].” Just this act increases self-awareness. Over time, you may start spotting emotional patterns (e.g., morning anxiety or end-of-day fatigue) and can address them. By knowing your emotional state, you can better manage your reactions (an elegant person doesn’t fly off the handle or withdraw without understanding why).
  • Optional: Read“The Power of Journaling for Mental Well-Being” – how writing about feelings can reduce stress and improve self-awareness. (Link: ChildMind Institute – Benefits of Journaling)

Day 16: Tame the Triggers – Handling Social Anxiety

Think about situations that make you feel socially awkward or stressed. Perhaps walking into a networking event full of strangers, or small talk in a foreign language, or receiving criticism. These are emotional trigger moments when it’s easy to retreat or overreact. Today, you’ll identify one or two of your triggers and plan a calming strategy. Knowing your triggers in advance helps you stay composed when they happen.

  • Practice (5 min): In your journal, list 1–2 social situations that typically make you uncomfortable or anxious. Be specific (e.g., “When I have to make small talk with senior managers” or “When someone gives me sudden critical feedback on my code”). For each trigger, brainstorm one coping technique. Examples: If networking events trigger anxiety, your plan could be “Take 3 deep breaths and remind myself I belong here, then approach one person.” If feedback makes you defensive, plan “Pause, count to three before responding, and say ‘Thank you for the feedback’ first.” Writing this down cements it.
  • Reflect (5 min): Visualize yourself in one of those triggering scenarios using your coping strategy. How do you imagine it will help? Jot down your confidence level about it. For instance, “Imagining the next meetup: I’ll feel nervous, but my deep breathing and prepared questions will give me something to focus on.” Acknowledging triggers without shame and preparing for them is a huge step in staying emotionally fluent and elegant under pressure.
  • Optional: Read“Know Your Triggers: Tips from a Social Anxiety Coach” – Advice on recognizing and managing anxiety triggers in social settings. (Link: Psychology Today or similar)

Day 17: Walk in Their Shoes – Practicing Empathy

Empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of others – is a social superpower. It helps you connect deeply and respond gracefully. As a logical techie, you might sometimes default to problem-solving instead of empathizing (e.g., jumping to fix a colleague’s issue rather than first saying “That sounds frustrating”). Today’s exercise builds empathy by consciously imagining others’ perspectives and feelings. Interestingly, research suggests that reflecting on emotions (like in a journal) can also boost empathy. So let’s flex those empathy muscles.

  • Practice (5-10 min): Think of someone in your life you interact with regularly – perhaps a coworker or friend – who is going through something (big or small). Spend a few minutes writing a short imaginary journal entry from their perspective. For example, if your coworker seemed annoyed in a meeting, write what you guess they might be feeling: “I’m [Name]. I’m feeling overwhelmed because my project is behind. When [you] asked me about the report, I got irritated because I’m stressed.” You might be wrong, but the act of perspective-taking is what counts. If writing isn’t your thing, you can do this as a mental exercise – sit quietly and truly imagine what that person might be feeling and why.
  • Reflect (2-5 min): How easy or hard was it to step into someone else’s shoes? Note one insight or hypothesis you have about that person’s inner experience. You might realize, “Hey, they have pressures I wasn’t considering.” The next time you talk to them, you can check in (“How are things going? You seemed a bit under pressure yesterday.”). Empathy often simply means acknowledging someone’s feelings. If comfortable, also reflect on whether you allow yourself to express empathy openly – for instance, do you say things like “I understand, that sounds tough” when someone shares a struggle? If not, you can practice that phrasing.
  • Optional: WatchBrené Brown’s short animation “On Empathy” – A 3-minute video that beautifully explains how to be empathic (versus just sympathetic) and why it matters. (Link: YouTube – Brené Brown on Empathy)

Day 18: Keep Your Cool – Breathing for Calm

Grace under pressure is a hallmark of an elegant demeanor. When a stressful moment hits – say your demo crashes in front of the team or someone makes an irritating comment – your ability to stay calm and think clearly will shine. One of the simplest and most effective tools for this is controlled breathing. Deep breathing engages the parasympathetic nervous system (the “calm down” signal for your body) and can noticeably reduce anxiety in minutes. Today, you’ll learn a quick breathing technique to use anytime you feel nerves or anger rising.

  • Practice (5 min): Try the “4-7-8” breathing exercise (a popular calming technique). Here’s how: Inhale through your nose for a count of 4, hold your breath for a count of 7, then exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of 8. As you exhale, perhaps purse your lips or make a soft “whoosh” sound. Repeat this cycle four times. (If the counts are too long at first, you can do 4-4-6 or whatever feels comfortable, then work up to 4-7-8.) After doing this, notice your heart rate and any release of tension. Another option: Box breathing – inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4, repeat – which some Navy SEALs use to stay calm under extreme stress. Find which technique feels good for you.
  • Reflect (2-5 min): Do you feel calmer or more centered after these breaths? Write down when you might use this in real life. For example: “Before giving an update in the big meeting, I’ll do 4-7-8 quietly in the restroom.” or “If I get angry at a coworker’s comment, I’ll subtly do a few box breaths to avoid snapping.” By planning this, you’re more likely to remember it in the heat of the moment. Note: Deep breathing is like a reset button – the more you practice in low-stress times, the easier it kicks in during high-stress times.
  • Optional: Read“Research: Why Breathing Is So Effective at Reducing Stress” (HBR) – The science behind breathing exercises and stress, with a study noting breathing as the most immediately effective stress relief technique. (Link: HBR – Breathing and Stress)

Day 19: Graceful Under Fire – Responding vs. Reacting

Today’s focus is on managing emotional reactions. Even with breathing and awareness, you may still encounter situations that provoke you (e.g., someone critiques your work unfairly or a friend cancels plans last-minute). The key is to respond thoughtfully, not react impulsively. A helpful rule: if you feel a surge of anger or hurt, pause and take at least a few seconds (or longer) before replying. In that pause, identify what you’re feeling (“I’m upset because…”) and decide on a response that aligns with your composed, respectful self.

  • Practice (5 min): Think back on a recent incident where you felt upset or defensive. Maybe a code review comment that felt harsh, or a friend joked about something personal. In your journal, briefly describe the scenario and how you reacted. Then rewrite how you wish you had responded. For example: Scenario: Manager criticized your design in front of team -> Reaction: you got defensive and curt -> Ideal Response: “I hear your concerns. Let’s discuss offline how I can improve it.” By scripting an ideal response after the fact, you train your brain for next time. If nothing recent comes to mind, imagine a common scenario (like someone cutting you off in traffic or a colleague interrupting you) and script a calm response.
  • Reflect (5 min): What difference would your “ideal response” have made in that situation? Likely it would shorten conflict and preserve your image as calm and respectful. Note in your journal any patterns: do certain situations always trigger you to react ungracefully (e.g., you tend to send snippy emails when stressed)? Awareness + a pause is your formula. Write down a simple mantra to remember, like “Take a pause, then respond.” This can be a mental Post-it note for future incidents.
  • Optional: Read“How to Stay Calm During Conflict” – Tips on responding rather than reacting, possibly from an EQ or leadership blog. (Link: Mind Tools or Verywell Mind article on anger management)

Day 20: Share a Bit of You – Authentic Expression

Elegance doesn’t mean being emotionless. In fact, showing appropriate emotion (warmth, enthusiasm, concern) makes you genuine and likable. By now you’ve practiced controlling negative reactions, but don’t swing to the other extreme of being robotic. Today, practice expressing positive feelings or vulnerability in a measured way. Maybe it’s giving a compliment, or saying “I’m a bit nervous” to a friend before a presentation (which can humanize you). Emotional fluency includes letting others see your human side.

  • Practice (optional timing): Find an opportunity to express a positive emotion or appreciation to someone today. For example: “I really enjoyed our conversation, thanks for that.” or “I appreciate how patient you were helping me debug.” If you’re leading a meeting, you might say, “I’m excited about these results” if you are. The key is to verbalize a feeling or gratitude that you would normally keep inside. Alternatively, if you feel comfortable, share a small vulnerability with a trusted colleague or friend: “I’m actually a bit anxious about the upcoming demo – fingers crossed it goes well.” Said with a smile, this can invite camaraderie.
  • Reflect (5 min): How did it feel to share that compliment or personal comment? Did the other person react positively? Often, showing a little warmth or vulnerability strengthens relationships – note any evidence of this (did they smile, reciprocate, or open up themselves?). If you didn’t get a chance or forgot, plan for tomorrow – jot a reminder like “Tell John I liked his presentation style.” Recognizing others’ feelings and sharing yours in a constructive way is the glue of empathy and connection.
  • Optional: Watch“The Power of Vulnerability” (Brené Brown TED Talk) – If you have time on a weekend, this famous talk delves into how vulnerability is integral to authentic connection. (Link: TED Talk – Brené Brown)*

Day 21: Reflection & Milestone – Emotional Growth

Three weeks in – take a moment to appreciate how far you’ve come internally. By now you’ve likely become more attuned to your feelings and those of others. Maybe you handled a stressful situation this week by pausing or breathing, where before you might have panicked or snapped. Perhaps you’ve noticed you empathize more (even something like noticing when a coworker is down and offering a kind word). Today, consolidate these emotional intelligence gains.

  • Practice (5 min): Look back at your notes from Days 15–20. On a fresh page, write a short list titled “My Emotional Intelligence Wins (Week 3)”. List at least 3 things, big or small. For example: “1. Caught myself getting anxious and used deep breathing to calm down before presenting. 2. Noticed Jane was quiet in the meeting and checked in with her after – she appreciated it. 3. Instead of arguing with my roommate about the dishes, I paused and explained calmly how I felt.” These are all wins.
  • Reflect (5 min): Read your list and reflect: how is increased emotional awareness impacting your daily life? Do you feel any difference in stress levels or relationships? Write a few sentences. You might note, “I feel less overwhelmed by criticism now – I can step back and stay cooler.” or “I’m finding people open up to me more, maybe because I’m listening/empathizing better.” This is the heart of social grace: managing your emotions and caring about others’. Pat yourself on the back for the progress. Identify one emotional-skill area to keep an eye on (e.g., “I will continue practicing patience when under pressure”).
  • Optional: Read“Emotional Intelligence at Work” – An article on how self-awareness and empathy improve professional relationships (could be HBR or an ATD article).

Week 4: Personal Style and Cultural Fluency – Polishing the Outside and Inside Fit

Focus: This week, we’ll address outer style (grooming and attire appropriate to your context) and cultural nuances of Western social norms. As a Chinese geek in Silicon Valley, you blend two cultures – you don’t need to become someone else, but understanding norms around personal space, conversational style, and dress code will help you navigate smoothly. Think of this week as refining the details that enhance first impressions and prevent cultural misinterpretations. Small changes in appearance and etiquette can elevate your elegance while still feeling like you.

Day 22: Grooming Check – Neat and Presentable

Elegance starts with basic grooming. Being well-groomed doesn’t mean flashy – it means clean, neat, and attended to. People do notice details like wrinkled clothes, unkempt hair, or hygiene issues, even in a casual tech environment. Today, take a quick personal grooming inventory and spru ce up anything that might need attention. The goal is to ensure nothing about your grooming distracts from the confident, professional you.

  • Practice (5 min): Stand in front of a mirror (full-length if possible) and scan from head to toe. Check: Is your hair tidy or in need of a cut/trim? Do you appear clean-shaven or is facial hair groomed (if applicable)? Are your nails clean and trimmed? Is your shirt clean and unwrinkled? Shoes in decent shape? For each, make any immediate fixes you can (e.g., quickly comb hair, use a lint roller on your shirt). Then make a to-do list of grooming tasks: perhaps “Schedule a haircut this week”, “Buy an iron or use the ironing function on the dryer for shirts”, “Trim beard tonight”. Also consider things like moisturising dry skin or using a light cologne (not too strong) if you want. These little touches can make you feel more put-together.
  • Reflect (2-5 min): How much effort do you currently put into grooming? Write down if there were any surprises (maybe you hadn’t noticed your shoes were scuffed or that your hairstyle might need updating). How do you feel when you’re freshly showered, hair in place, clothes neat? Many people feel a confidence boost. Jot a note on how you will maintain a grooming routine – for instance, “will set out a clean outfit every night” or “book grooming appointments at regular intervals.” This ensures you consistently present your best self.
  • Optional: Read“Professional Grooming Tips for Men/Women in Tech” – A short checklist from an image consultant on grooming in a casual workplace (like keeping nails tidy, etc.). (Link: A blog or LinkedIn article on tech professional appearance)

Day 23: Dress the Part – Tech Chic Wardrobe

Silicon Valley famously embraces hoodies and t-shirts, but there’s a way to dress comfortably and elegantly. Your goal isn’t to wear a suit to code (that would be overkill in most tech cultures), but to ensure your clothing fits well, is clean, and aligns with a “polished casual” look. A good rule: dress one small notch above the most casual person around you – it shows respect and self-care without sticking out. Today, evaluate your wardrobe choices at work.

  • Practice (10 min): Open your closet and do a quick audit of your typical work attire. Pick out 2–3 “go-to” outfits that you feel both comfortable and confident in. For example, dark well-fitted jeans or chinos + a collared shirt or neat polo + clean sneakers or loafers. Maybe a blazer or cardigan for layering. Check each item’s condition: no stains, holes, or excessive wrinkles. Try on one outfit and look in the mirror: does it fit well (not too baggy or overly tight)? Fit makes a huge difference – if needed, consider tailoring a couple of pieces or buying one new well-fitted item. Assemble tomorrow’s outfit now with these principles: appropriate, neat, and a touch elevated (e.g., swap the geeky graphic tee for a plain or subtly patterned shirt under your hoodie).
  • Reflect (5 min): How do you feel about your style? Some geeks resist focusing on clothes, but note that dressing well is not vanity – it’s part of personal branding and can even affect how seriously your ideas are taken. Write down one improvement you’ll make, like “wear a collared shirt twice a week instead of all t-shirts” or “upgrade my sneakers to a sleeker pair for work.” Also note if there’s a piece of clothing you love that expresses your personality while still looking professional (maybe a cool watch or a unique jacket) – plan to incorporate that. When you dress in a way that makes you feel confident, it shows.
  • Optional: Read“Silicon Valley Business Casual: Dress for Success” – Tips on assembling a tech-appropriate yet polished wardrobe (e.g., well-fitting jeans, collared shirts, clean shoes, etc.). (Link: Global Image Group – Silicon Valley Casual)

Day 24: The Finishing Touch – Style Details

Today, pay attention to the details of your personal style. Little things can elevate or detract from an elegant image. Are your colors coordinated? Is your belt matching your shoes? For women, is your makeup office-appropriate (if you wear any)? For men, are your shirt and pants properly lengthened (sleeves to wrist, pants not dragging)? This might sound fussy, but once you set these basics, they become effortless. It’s like debugging code formatting – do it once, benefit daily 😄.

  • Practice (5 min): Stand in front of the mirror in your chosen outfit (perhaps the one you picked yesterday). Check a few detail points:

    • Fit & Posture in outfit: Stand straight – do the clothes hang well? (No frumpy excess fabric or buttons about to pop.)
    • Colors: Are you wearing more than one bright color or loud print? If so, consider toning it down to one statement piece and keep the rest neutral. Simpler palettes often look more elegant.
    • Shoes & Belt: If you’re wearing dressier shoes and a belt, they should be roughly the same color family (brown belt with brown-ish shoes, black with black). If sneakers, are they clean?
    • Accessories: Is your watch or any jewelry minimal and professional? Less is more here.
    • Bag: If you carry a backpack or laptop bag, is it in decent condition (no frayed straps, etc.)? Make any quick adjustments (tuck in shirt properly, change belt if clashing, wipe shoes). If you realize you lack a certain basic (like a plain belt or tidy shoes), note it for future shopping.
  • Reflect (5 min): Did you discover any style detail you often overlook? Maybe matching socks or ironing collars. Jot it down and commit to being mindful of it. Also reflect on how attending to your style makes you feel – it isn’t about vanity, it’s about self-respect and feeling prepared. You might write, “Noticed I feel more ‘put together’ when my outfit matches well – makes me a bit more confident to speak up.” In truth, when you aren’t worrying about how you look, you free your mind to focus on the conversation or task at hand.

  • Optional: Read“Dress for Confidence – Why It Matters” – an article or blog post on how attire affects self-perception and how others perceive your competence. (Link: Business Insider piece on first impressions or similar)

Day 25: West Meets East – Cultural Body Language and Space

Now let’s delve into cultural fluency. As someone from a Chinese background working in the West, you’ve probably noticed some differences in body language and personal space. For example, in American culture, direct eye contact and a firm handshake are seen as confidence, whereas you know in China prolonged eye contact or a very firm handshake with elders might be considered disrespectful. Neither is right or wrong – just different norms. Today, focus on personal space and body language norms in Western contexts so you can adjust when needed.

  • Practice (5 min): Recall a situation where cultural norms confused you. Perhaps an American colleague stood very far or very close, or you weren’t sure whether to hug or just shake hands at a social gathering. Jot a quick note of one scenario. Now, review these common Western norms:

    • Personal space: In the US and many Western cultures, people generally stand about an arm’s length (2–3 feet) apart when conversing, especially in professional settings. Closer is reserved for close friends/intimates. Practice this distance: stand and imagine someone in front of you – adjust to roughly arm’s length.
    • Touch: Aside from handshakes or an occasional friendly pat on the back, Americans typically don’t touch much in professional contexts. Hugs are for friends/family or perhaps close colleagues, but usually not at first meeting.
    • Eye contact: As covered, looking into the eyes is a sign of engagement here. Practice maintaining that comfortable eye contact as you speak, even if it’s not your default.
    • Facial expressiveness: Westerners might expect nods or smiles to show you’re listening. If you keep a very neutral face (common in some Asian cultures for respect), it might be misinterpreted as disinterest. So remember to give those small feedback signals like “mm-hmm,” nodding, or smiling when appropriate.
  • Reflect (5 min): Write one or two cultural differences that you aim to be mindful of. For example: “I will remember to give colleagues a bit more personal space; I noticed I sometimes stand closer out of habit.” Or “I’ll make sure to nod or verbally respond during conversations so they know I’m engaged.” Also, feel free to note any Western norm you still find odd or challenging – awareness is half the battle. By adapting to local norms while still being true to yourself, you demonstrate cultural intelligence, which is a facet of elegance in global workplaces.

  • Optional: Read“Communication Styles Across Cultures” (Think Cultural Health PDF) – Especially the sections on eye contact and personal space, which compare Asian and Western expectations. (Link: ThinkCulturalHealth – Communication Styles PDF)

Day 26: Conversational Customs – Western Etiquette and Idioms

Continuing cultural fluency, let’s tackle conversational style. Perhaps you’ve noticed Americans can be more direct in saying “no” or in giving feedback, whereas Chinese communication might use more subtle hints to preserve face. Also, there are many English idioms and casual phrases that might puzzle non-natives (“break the ice,” “hit the ground running,” etc.). Today is about aligning with Western conversational etiquette while enriching your idiom vocabulary, so you can engage fluidly and catch nuances.

  • Practice (10 min):

    1. Politeness and Directness: Westerners generally say “please” and “thank you” a lot in daily requests. Make sure you pepper those in (e.g., “Could you please send me that file? Thanks!”). But they may also be more blunt in disagreements or saying no – understand that a direct “I disagree” is not usually meant to offend, just norm. Practice saying a polite but direct refusal or opinion in English: “I’m afraid I can’t attend that meeting” (instead of a vague excuse), or “I see your point, but I have a different perspective…” This will feel more authentic to your colleagues.
    2. Learn 2–3 Idioms/Slang: Pick a couple of common phrases you’ve heard or read but aren’t totally comfortable using. For example: “break the ice” (start a conversation), “up to speed” (fully informed), “ballpark figure” (rough estimate). Look up their meanings if needed. Try writing a sentence with each. Also note any common small talk responses: when someone says “How’s it going?”, the expected answer is short and positive (“Good, and you?”) – it’s a greeting, not an actual inquiry into health. If someone jokes or uses sarcasm, note that a friendly laugh or witty reply is appropriate; if unsure, a smile works.
  • Reflect (5 min): Jot down the idioms you learned or any direct phrases you practiced. Do you feel comfortable being more direct in English than you would in Chinese? It’s okay if it feels a bit blunt – you can be direct and polite. Also, list any American habits you find yourself adopting (like saying “hey, how are ya?” as a greeting). Embracing some local customs will make social interactions smoother. Finally, remind yourself that you’re bicultural – you can switch modes as needed. That flexibility is a strength!

  • Optional: Read“Cross-Cultural Etiquette: 5 Differences between Chinese and American Communication” – e.g., attitudes on saying “no,” giving feedback, small talk topics (sports, weekend plans in US vs. maybe not in China), etc.. (Link: Intercultural communication blog post or Quora answer on Chinese vs American business etiquette)

Day 27: Networking Comfort – Stepping Out Socially

By now, you’ve honed many skills – posture, conversation, empathy. Today’s about applying them in a broader social context, like a networking event or a meetup. The idea of “networking” might make any introvert cringe, but think of it simply as meeting new people with shared interests. You have all the tools: a confident posture, a clear introduction, small talk topics, listening skills, etc. Today, prepare for a short networking opportunity – it could be a company event, an online tech meetup, or a club gathering.

  • Practice (10 min): Take 10 minutes to research and plan for an upcoming (or hypothetical) networking scenario:

    • If you know of an actual event (virtual or in-person) you could attend, great – plan for that. If not, imagine a generic “tech meetup” next week.
    • Elevator pitch: Craft a 15-second self-introduction beyond just “I’m a software engineer.” Mention something memorable or an interest. For example, “Hi, I’m Alex. I’m a developer at XYZ Corp. I’ve been really into AR/VR lately.” Or “... I’m also a huge sci-fi nerd, which actually got me into coding.” This gives others a hook to continue talking.
    • Questions to ask: Prepare 2 questions you can ask new acquaintances: “What brings you here?” is always good. Or “What cool projects are you working on?” in a tech context. People love to talk about themselves, and you’ll come across as engaging.
    • Plan to push comfort zone: If you usually hug the wall at events, set a goal like, “I will initiate conversation with at least 2 people.” If online, maybe “I will post one question or comment in the chat.”
  • Reflect (5 min): Write down how you feel about networking now with this preparation. Perhaps less anxious because you have a game plan? Note any remaining worries (e.g., accent, running out of things to say) and one way to handle each (e.g., My accent: Remember that clarity and smiling matter more than accent; people are generally understanding. Running out of things: Ask the other person more about themselves.). Acknowledge that networking gets easier the more you do it – like practicing code, you build fluency. Even if you’re naturally introverted, you can still shine in small doses at events.

  • Optional: Read“Networking for Introverts – Preparation Tips” – Strategies like setting small goals, arriving early, focusing on one-on-one conversations. (Link: PCNametag Blog – Networking for Introverts)*

Day 28: Elegance in Action – Public Practice

It’s the final stretch of the program. Today, if possible, we’ll put everything together in a real-world practice: go to a place outside of your home/work where you can interact lightly with others, and carry yourself with the elegance and fluidity you’ve cultivated. This could be as simple as a trip to a coffee shop, a stroll in a park where you exchange nods or “hello” with people, or attending a casual community event for a few minutes. The idea is to be mindfully present and approachable in a public setting and observe your own demeanor.

  • Practice (time varies): Choose a setting – e.g., a café, bookstore, or even a grocery store. As you enter, stand tall and keep your chin up (remember Week 1 posture). Make brief eye contact and smile with people you encounter – the barista, the cashier, fellow customers. Perhaps initiate a tiny small talk exchange: “Busy morning, huh?” to the cashier or “These pastries look great!” as an aside to someone in line. If at a park, you might nod or say a friendly “good morning” to someone walking their dog (common in many U.S. communities). The goal is to project confidence and friendliness to the outside world and see it reflected back. Spend at least 10 minutes out and about doing this social “simmer”.
  • Reflect (5 min): How did it feel to deliberately engage with the wider world in this elegant manner? Note any positive interactions – maybe the barista smiled back and chatted, or you felt less self-conscious than usual walking through a crowd. Write about one moment: “I caught myself slouching and corrected it, and it actually made me feel more present.” or “Saying hi to a stranger felt odd for a second, but then they smiled and it was nice.” This exercise is to show that all the little habits you’ve built make a tangible difference in everyday life. By now, many will start to happen subconsciously. You’ve essentially upgraded your social firmware!
  • Optional: Read“The Social Benefits of Getting Out There” – an article on how even brief interactions (like chatting with a barista or neighbor) enhance your sense of connection and confidence. (Link: NPR or Psychology Today piece on talking to strangers boosting happiness)

Week 5: Integration and Next Steps – Bringing It All Together

You’ve reached the final two days! 🎉 This short “Week 5” is about integrating your new skills and planning for continued growth. Elegance and social fluidity are lifelong arts – the good news is you now have a solid foundation. These last days, you’ll undertake a final personal challenge to stretch your comfort zone and then reflect on the journey and future.

Day 29: Final Challenge – Showcase Your Enhanced Self

For your final challenge, do something that slightly scares you socially – something that the “Day 0” you would have avoided, but the “Day 29” you can handle with your new skills. This could be giving a brief toast or presentation, attending a meetup or social event solo, initiating a lunch gathering with colleagues, or even leading part of a meeting that you’d normally stay quiet in. Choose an activity that’s feasible today or in the very near future, and plan to execute it.

  • Practice (Time varies): Identify your challenge: for example, “Speak up to thank everyone at the end of our team meeting this afternoon.” or “Join the virtual Q&A microphone to ask a question at the tech talk I’m attending.” It doesn’t have to be huge – just a step beyond your usual. Take a few minutes to visualize success in that challenge using all your skills: see yourself standing/sitting confidently (Week 1), speaking clearly (Week 2), keeping composure (Week 3), well-dressed or groomed if applicable (Week 4), and engaging warmly. Then DO it when the opportunity arises. If it absolutely can’t be today, commit to a specific upcoming date (“Tomorrow’s all-hands meeting” or “Saturday’s meetup”). The key is to not postpone indefinitely.
  • Reflect (5 min): After doing the challenge, how did it go? (If you’re writing just before doing it, note your prep and come back to record the outcome.) Write in detail what happened and how you felt. Perhaps: “I introduced myself to the keynote speaker after the seminar. I was nervous, but I maintained eye contact, thanked them for the talk, and even asked a question. They were very receptive!” Whatever the outcome, it’s a win that you tried. If it didn’t go as smoothly as hoped, note what you learned (maybe you stumbled on words – totally fine, you still did it!). This final challenge is proof that you can face social situations that once intimidated you. High-five yourself for completing it.
  • Optional: Watch“Putting Yourself Out There” (Motivational video) – a short pep talk video about stepping out of your comfort zone socially and the rewards it brings. (Link: YouTube motivational clip)

Day 30: Conclusion – Celebrate and Continue

You did it – 30 days of continuous improvement! Today is about reflecting on your transformation and setting intentions to continue using these skills. Elegance and social fluidity are now part of your toolkit. You’ll have ups and downs – maybe some days you’ll slouch or feel awkward again, and that’s okay. But you now know how to course-correct. This final reflection will help cement your growth and plan the road ahead.

  • Practice (10 min): Sit down with your journal and write a before vs. after self-portrait. Divide the page in two. On the left, write how you would have described your posture, communication style, and social comfort 30 days ago. On the right, describe yourself now. For example:

    • Before: “Often avoided eye contact, tended to mumble when nervous, rarely spoke in group discussions, felt out of place at social events, dressed very casually without much thought.”
    • After: “Keep a good posture habit mostly, make eye contact comfortably, speak more clearly and assertively, engaged in meetings, initiated small talk with coworkers, attended one meetup confidently, dress in smart casual that makes me feel good.”

    Be honest and give yourself credit for changes, big or small. Next, list 3 habits from this course you want to maintain (e.g., “straighten posture whenever I sit down to work,” “use active listening in every conversation,” “smile at people when greeting,” etc.). Also list any new challenges you want to tackle next (maybe public speaking, or making a local friend group, or mentoring someone to further stretch your social skills).

  • Reflect (5 min): Read over your self-portrait and habit list. Take a moment to appreciate your hard work. You transformed many aspects in a short time – that’s no small feat. How do you feel overall? More confident? More connected? Jot a final journal entry capturing this. Finally, commit to consistency: elegance is a journey, so maybe set a monthly check-in with yourself to adjust posture, or continue journaling feelings weekly. You could even ask a trusted friend for feedback occasionally. End by writing a positive affirmation or mantra for yourself going forward, like “I am confident, sociable, and authentic.” Because after 30 days of practice, you truly are.

  • Optional: Read“Continuous Improvement: Social Skills” – an article on how social skills are an ongoing practice and how to keep momentum. (Link: Medium or personal development blog post)


Congratulations! You’ve completed the 30-day course. 🎊 Take pride in the changes you’ve made. Your improved posture, communication, empathy, style, and cultural savvy all combine into a more elegant, fluid you. Remember, the aim was never to change who you are, but to let the best of you shine and to bridge any gaps that held you back.

As you continue on your journey in Silicon Valley (and beyond), keep applying what you've learned. You might even re-run parts of this course or focus on one area per week as a refresher. With time, these practices will become second nature.

Key takeaway: True elegance is about respect – for yourself and for others. By standing tall, speaking kindly and confidently, understanding emotions, and honoring cultural courtesies, you show respect. And that, in turn, earns you respect and admiration from those around you.

Here’s to your continued growth – may you keep blossoming into the socially fluent, elegant person you aspire to be. Cheers! 👏

Sources Cited: Research and expert tips were integrated throughout the course to ensure advice is practical and evidence-based. For example, studies on posture and mood, active listening’s impact, breathing exercises for stress, and cross-cultural communication norms informed the daily exercises. These and other references (Inc.com, HBR.org, Psychology Today, etc.) substantiate the techniques recommended, so you can trust that these small steps rest on solid ground. Keep the reference list handy if you wish to dive deeper into any topic covered. Good luck on your journey to enduring elegance and confidence!

30-Day Entrepreneurial Practice Program with Buddhist Wisdom

· 46 min read

This 30-day course, requiring about 10 minutes daily, aims to help internet entrepreneurs integrate Buddhist wisdom into work decisions, team management, innovation, and daily life. The course adopts a modern interpretation approach, combining Buddhist concepts with contemporary business and technology environments. It is practice-oriented, with each day including a short explanation, case sharing, and practice guidance.

Day 1: Buddhist Wisdom and Entrepreneurial Mindset

Introduction: Explains why Buddhism benefits entrepreneurs. Buddha's wisdom helps cultivate a calm and focused mindset, improve decision-making quality, and enhance stress resistance. Research shows that entrepreneurs who believe in Buddhism score higher on innovation tendencies and have stress resistance 4% higher on average than non-Buddhists. Many successful Silicon Valley figures are also keen on meditation to calm the mind, such as Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. This course will guide you to apply Buddhist concepts to your entrepreneurial journey, thereby enhancing your inner cultivation and leadership.

Case Study: A startup CEO who fell into anxiety during the company's rapid growth period found inner peace through daily Zen meditation and led the team through difficulties with clearer thinking.

Practice Exercise: Starting today, give yourself 5 minutes to practice mindful breathing. Find a quiet place to sit, keep your back straight, gently close your eyes, and focus your attention on your breath. Feel the in and out of the breath without deliberately controlling it. When your thoughts scatter, gently bring your attention back to breathing. This practice helps cultivate focus and lays the foundation for subsequent lessons.

Day 2: Impermanence—Embracing the Power of Change

Key Concept: "All things are impermanent" is one of the Three Marks of Existence in Buddhism, indicating that everything is constantly changing. Understanding impermanence can make entrepreneurs more flexible in responding to market fluctuations and technological iterations, not fixating on temporary gains and losses. As researchers point out, the Buddhist teaching about life's impermanence can help entrepreneurs face rapidly changing market environments and encourage business owners to actively explore new business and innovation trends.

Application to Entrepreneurship: In the entrepreneurship process, product iterations, user preferences, and competitive landscapes are all in flux. Excellent entrepreneurs accept change and adjust strategies promptly. For example, a company that once focused on hardware found that user needs changed, quickly pivoted to software services, and ultimately turned crisis into opportunity.

Practice: Observing Impermanence—Today, notice changes in life and work. It can be observing changes in weather, emotions throughout the day, or fluctuations in business metrics. In the evening, sit quietly for 5 minutes, reflect on the changes you observed today, and ask yourself: "Did I accept these changes? What attachments made me feel pressured?" Practice facing changes with an open mindset to cultivate adaptability.

Day 3: Non-self—Team Collaboration and Self-Transcendence

Key Concept: "All dharmas are without self" means that nothing in the world has an independent, unchanging self; all individuals are interdependent. This reminds us to let go of excessive self-centeredness and recognize the importance of team and others. For entrepreneurs, "non-self" doesn't deny self-worth but emphasizes letting go of narrow personal obsessions and viewing business from a broader perspective.

Application to Entrepreneurship: Entrepreneurship often requires team cooperation and user support. Understanding non-self allows entrepreneurs to be more humble, willing to listen to team opinions, and acknowledge that personal success is inseparable from collective efforts. This sense of interdependence helps create an open team culture. For example, a product manager abandoned the idea of "I must lead everything" when making decisions, encouraged team brainstorming, and produced more creative solutions as a result.

Practice: Empathy and Interdependence—Today, during team communication, deliberately practice letting go of a "self-centered" mindset. Listen to each colleague's opinion and try to think from their perspective. Write down something in your business that you could only accomplish with others' help, experience the support given by others, and cultivate a heart of gratitude and humility.

Day 4: Facing Suffering—Pain and Joy on the Entrepreneurial Path

Key Concept: The First Noble Truth in Buddhism is the "Truth of Suffering," pointing out that life inevitably involves suffering (dissatisfaction). The entrepreneurial journey is similarly filled with ups and downs: there are exciting victories and also bitter defeats. Recognizing "suffering" is not negative but helps us face reality and cultivate psychological resilience. Accepting that difficulties exist enables us to seek solutions more calmly.

Application to Entrepreneurship: Many entrepreneurs are prone to discouragement or even giving up when encountering failure, but Buddhism teaches us to view favorable and adverse circumstances with an equal mind. A serial entrepreneur reflected on his first three failed ventures and found that it was precisely those setbacks that made him more resilient and cautious, finally succeeding on his fourth attempt. He viewed failure as necessary tempering, and thus no longer feared it.

Practice: Awareness of Suffering—List a major difficulty in your entrepreneurship or work that makes you anxious. Calm down and acknowledge: "Yes, this makes me feel pain and pressure." Observe how this bitter feeling creates reactions in your body and emotions, such as chest tension or low mood. Then take a few deep breaths, tell yourself this suffering is also impermanent, and try to relax your body and mind through breathing. This practice aims to practice accepting and facing difficulties, establishing a calm mindset for the next step of problem-solving.

Day 5: Exploring the Cause of Suffering—Letting Go of Attachment and Craving

Key Concept: The Second Noble Truth is the "Truth of the Origin of Suffering," revealing that the cause of suffering lies in craving and attachment. Our strong attachments to fame, fortune, success, and control often lead to tension and imbalance. The ambitions of entrepreneurs are not wrong in themselves, but if they evolve into obsessions (such as clinging to an idea or excessively pursuing short-term benefits), they may lead to decision-making errors and team conflicts.

Application to Entrepreneurship: A typical case is an entrepreneur who was overly attached to the original business model, persisted against market feedback, and ultimately missed the opportunity to pivot, leading to project failure. In contrast, excellent entrepreneurs know how to identify their obsessions: when they find that insisting on a decision is based on face or emotion rather than rational judgment, they dare to adjust direction. This embodies the Buddhist wisdom of "letting go."

Practice: Examining Attachments—Today, spend 10 minutes reflecting: are there areas where you're overly attached in your work? For example, a preference for certain product features, obsession with competitors, or unrealistic expectations about success timelines. Write down one such attachment and consider what would be the worst consequence if you let it go? Try to imagine the sense of relief after releasing the attachment. This exercise helps you practice letting go, creating space for more flexible decision-making.

Day 6: Cessation and Liberation—Experiencing the Possibility of Tranquility

Key Concept: The Third Noble Truth is the "Truth of the Cessation of Suffering," meaning the possibility of eliminating suffering. Buddhism tells us that when we let go of attachments and cease greed, hatred, and delusion, our minds can reach a state of tranquility and freedom (nirvana). For entrepreneurs, while it's impossible to get rid of all troubles at once, we can find moments of inner tranquility in busy work for mental recharging. This calm mindset helps respond to challenges in a more rational and creative way.

Application to Entrepreneurship: Some well-known entrepreneurs adhere to daily meditation precisely to regularly return to tranquility. For instance, Bridgewater Associates founder Ray Dalio views meditation as key to his success, believing twice-daily sitting makes his mind clearer and decisions wiser. He even said meditation is "one of the most important reasons for his success." This demonstrates that even in the competitive business world, inner liberation and peace can be cultivated and will nourish career development.

Practice: Tranquility Meditation—Try a letting go exercise. Sit down, close your eyes for 3-5 minutes, and imagine putting aside the pressure and attachments in your mind. During these few minutes, don't plan work tasks or obsess over problems, tell yourself: "At this moment, I allow myself to think about nothing, just focus on the breath in the present." If thoughts appear, watch them float by without judgment, then return attention to breathing and the present moment. When finished, experience the momentary tranquility within. Record this experience to remind yourself that suffering is not inevitable, and tranquility lies in letting go in the present moment.

Day 7: The Noble Path—Establishing a Framework for Cultivating the Mind

Key Concept: The Fourth Noble Truth, the "Truth of the Path," points out the specific path to liberation from suffering, namely the Eightfold Path. The Eightfold Path includes right view, right thought, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration, covering wisdom, ethics, and meditation. For entrepreneurs, this provides a comprehensive framework for self-improvement: having correct concepts and values (wisdom), adhering to ethical principles (ethics), and cultivating concentration and mental capacity (meditation).

Application to Entrepreneurship: Imagine the Eightfold Path as a nine-grid guide for entrepreneurs (understanding "livelihood" as right livelihood, meaning choosing a proper career). Successful entrepreneurship relies not only on business skills but also on the entrepreneur's character and mental cultivation. For example, some startup cultures emphasize values and sense of mission (corresponding to right view and right thought), while requiring employees to communicate honestly and do no evil (right speech, right action), and encouraging healthy lifestyles and continuous learning (right livelihood, right effort). These align with the Eightfold Path.

Practice: Self-Assessment Checklist—Assess your performance against the Eightfold Path briefly. For example: right view (do I have long-term correct perspectives or am I often swayed by short-term temptations?), right speech (do I communicate honestly?), etc. Identify the one that needs the most improvement, and write down how you plan to make a positive change tomorrow. This checklist will serve as a guide for future practice, gradually perfecting your "entrepreneurial mind method."

Day 8: Right View—Insight into Reality and Long-termism

Key Concept: Right view is the first item of the Eightfold Path, referring to correctly understanding the world and life, including recognizing the Four Noble Truths and the law of cause and effect. For entrepreneurs, right view means looking at issues with an objective, long-term perspective, rather than being deceived by appearances and short-term interests. One must acknowledge impermanence and causality, understanding that today's causes nurture tomorrow's fruits. Having right view can help entrepreneurs see the big picture when making decisions, not being disturbed by temporary market noise. Research shows that entrepreneurs with a Buddhist perspective often have broader vision and insight into opportunities. Through mindful awareness, they can see trends and connections that others cannot, making wiser decisions.

Application to Entrepreneurship: Long-termism is the manifestation of right view in business. For example, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos always emphasizes a long-term view, not changing strategy due to short-term stock price fluctuations. This persistence stems from a profound understanding of cause and effect: today's efforts invested in customer experience will eventually be rewarded with future loyalty and returns. Conversely, if only pursuing immediate benefits while ignoring long-term value, one often loses the big picture for small gains. Right view reminds us to continuously focus on the essence of things and long-term impact.

Practice: Causal Thinking—Select a current decision point in your work and use the law of cause and effect to analyze: list the possible long-term consequences of two different plans ("cause" and "effect"). For example, should you reduce product quality to save costs? Consider the short-term benefits of doing so and the possible long-term negative consequences (such as decreased user trust). Through written analysis, train yourself to develop a habit of causal thinking. Also practice causal observation in daily small matters, such as treating the team well (cause) leading to increased team cohesion (effect), to strengthen right view.

Day 9: Right Thought—Guiding Entrepreneurial Mission with Good Intentions

Key Concept: Right thought, also translated as right intention or right thinking, refers to cultivating correct motivations and thoughts, including thoughts free from desire, hatred, and harmfulness. For entrepreneurs, right thought means driving business with positive, altruistic intentions, rather than being driven by greed or malicious competitive thoughts. When the mind is righteous, thoughts are pure, and the entrepreneurial path can be traveled steadily and for the long term.

Application to Entrepreneurship: A mission-driven company is often shaped by the founder's original intention. For example, a social entrepreneur created a company to solve employment problems in impoverished communities; this altruistic motivation made the company continue to receive support from employees and society even when facing difficulties. Conversely, if the starting point of entrepreneurship is solely for profit, one is likely to deviate when faced with temptation or difficulties, making decisions that harm long-term interests. Right thought encourages entrepreneurs to always have good intentions: not just thinking about "how do I win," but also "how do I create value for users and society."

Practice: Writing Original Intentions—Take out a notebook and write down your core motivation for entrepreneurship (or work). Ask yourself: "What is the core purpose of my business? Besides profit, what improvement do I hope to bring to the world?" If the answer leans toward personal fame and fortune, try to think if there's a greater meaning that can be integrated. Refine this into a paragraph, post it in front of your desk, or read it aloud every morning to remind yourself to guide daily decisions with righteous intentions.

Day 10: Right Speech—Sincerity and Kindness in Communication

Key Concept: Right speech emphasizes maintaining truth, kindness, and constructiveness in speech, avoiding false speech, divisive speech, harsh speech, and idle chatter (deception, instigation, roughness, useless talk). For leaders, language has tremendous power; the good or evil of speech directly affects team morale and company culture. Practicing right speech can build trust and reduce internal friction.

Application to Entrepreneurship: In the fast-paced internet industry, communication is often direct. But even under pressure, excellent managers still pay attention to positive and sincere wording. For example, a technical team leader avoids using aggressive language to blame errors during code reviews but honestly points out problems and gives constructive suggestions, making the team more willing to accept opinions and improve work. Conversely, if founders often speak carelessly or don't keep promises, they quickly lose the trust of employees and partners. Right speech requires us to be factual (communicate truthfully), keep our word (fulfill promises), and treat people with kindness (communicate with respect and empathy).

Practice: Speech Awareness—Today, pay special attention to every word you say. Before sending important emails or speaking in public, silently check: Is this statement true? Necessary? Kind? If not, adjust the wording before expressing. Practice "think four times before speaking," and in the evening, review the day's communications, note down a time when you corrected your impulsive words, and the positive effect this brought. Long-term persistence will help you develop good communication habits.

Day 11: Right Action—Based on Integrity and Good Deeds

Key Concept: Right action requires that our behavior conforms to moral standards and does not harm others and society. Buddhist precepts emphasize not killing, not stealing, not engaging in sexual misconduct, etc. Corresponding to business behavior, it means not engaging in fraud, infringing on others' rights, or violating conscience. Entrepreneurs should adhere to bottom lines while pursuing growth, taking integrity and good deeds as the foundation of business.

Application to Entrepreneurship: If a company takes risks for short-term interests, such as selling products known to be defective or misusing user data, it may gain profits temporarily but sow the seeds of disaster, damaging reputation later or even facing legal consequences (this is the manifestation of the law of cause and effect in business). Conversely, far-sighted entrepreneurs would rather give up unethical profit opportunities to maintain long-term reputation. For example, when an e-commerce platform discovered merchants selling counterfeit products, removing them would lose commission income in the short term, but the founder insisted on cleaning up the platform, maintaining its integrity image, and winning more user trust in the long run. Buddhism teaches "causes and effects are never empty"; good deeds will eventually bring blessings, while success through "crooked ways" is hard to sustain.

Practice: Self-Reflection on Behavior—Review recent business decisions and behaviors; are there any that make you uneasy (such as exaggerated promotion, delaying payments, being harsh to subordinates, etc.)? Choose one small thing that can be corrected immediately and take action to correct it (for example, apologize to someone offended by your words or actions, or pay what should be paid). Feel the sense of peace this brings to your heart. Do behavioral self-reflection once a week in the future, gradually eliminating behavioral deviations.

Day 12: Right Livelihood—Choosing a Meaningful Career

Key Concept: Right livelihood refers to engaging in morally just occupations and industries that do not harm others. In Buddha's time, typical improper occupations included selling weapons, poisons, etc. In modern society, right livelihood means choosing careers that benefit society or at least do no harm, not making a living at others' expense. For entrepreneurs, the intention and business model of the startup project itself should also withstand moral scrutiny.

Application to Entrepreneurship: Many entrepreneurs reflect on their original intentions after achieving success, considering: "Is the product/service I created benefiting people or making them addicted and harmed?" For instance, some game developers, upon realizing their products cause addiction among teenagers, eventually left the industry to work on educational technology. This is the pursuit of right livelihood. Ideally, entrepreneurship should begin by choosing a meaningful, valuable direction, such as improving the environment, enhancing education, or facilitating life. Even if the industry attribute cannot be changed immediately, positive values can be injected into the company mission, minimizing negative impacts as much as possible.

Practice: Mission Focus—Think about your startup or company: what social problem does it solve, or what need does it fill? List three primary impacts your business brings to users and society; are there any negative side effects? If so, consider if there are ways to mitigate these negative impacts. Write a summary of the positive value of your career as your professional motto. Spend a little time each day gazing at this statement to strengthen your belief in engaging in right livelihood and contributing to society.

Day 13: Right Effort—Perseverance and Moderate Effort

Key Concept: Right effort refers to diligent effort in the right direction, neither excessively slack nor tense, continuously cultivating wholesome states and eliminating unwholesome states. Entrepreneurs usually don't lack enthusiasm for struggle, but need to ensure effort is put into the right things, and know how to grasp the rhythm, avoiding blind busyness or overdrawing themselves. Right effort emphasizes effective and balanced effort.

Application to Entrepreneurship: In the early stages of entrepreneurship, overtime seems to become the norm. However, long-term overload work leads to decision-making errors and health problems, which is counterproductive. Right effort encourages entrepreneurs to stay aware while working hard: distinguishing what is high-priority work (wholesome states, to be strengthened) and low-value internal friction (unwholesome states, to be reduced). For example, a founder spending a lot of time on social media monitoring competitors' activities, resulting in compression of actual product development time. This is not good effort. After adjustment, putting primary energy into product polishing and user feedback, business gradually improved. Focusing on core goals and persisting is the manifestation of right effort in entrepreneurship.

Practice: Effort Journal—Create a task list for today, marking out the two most important tasks. Commit to completing these two things first, eliminating irrelevant distractions during that time (such as turning off chat notifications for a while). At the same time, reasonably arrange rest time, not forcing yourself to work continuously beyond physical and mental limits. Record completion in the evening, reflecting on which period had the highest efficiency and which period was inefficiently busy. Through this journal, cultivate rhythmic, efficient work habits, putting energy where it counts most.

Day 14: Right Mindfulness—The Power of Present Focus

Key Concept: Right mindfulness is maintaining awareness at any moment, focusing on the present body, mind, and environment, without being scattered or lost. For modern entrepreneurs, mindfulness is particularly valuable—it can prevent us from being pulled by information overload and multitasking, enhancing focus and clarity. Mindfulness practice originates from Buddhist meditation and is now widely applied in workplace and medical fields, regarded as an effective method for stress reduction and efficiency improvement. A small segment of mindfulness practice each day can help you find your center again in a busy schedule.

Application to Entrepreneurship: Tech companies like Google even offer mindfulness courses for employees. "Search Inside Yourself" is a star mindfulness course at Google, often requiring a six-month wait for a spot. Participants report that mindfulness practice has changed how they deal with stress, becoming more able to stay calm in chaos and more empathetic toward colleagues. This proves that in a high-pressure entrepreneurial environment, spending time cultivating mindfulness is not a waste but can improve work quality and team cooperation.

Practice: Three Daily Pauses—Schedule three 1-minute "pauses" in today's agenda. Set reminders on your phone, for example, once in the morning, afternoon, and evening. Whenever the reminder sounds, immediately pause your work, sit up straight, close your eyes or gently gaze forward, and take 10 deep, slow breaths. Think of nothing, just feel the breath and body relaxing. This short minute allows the brain to rest from high-intensity operation, restoring focus. When you return to work, notice if you feel more concentrated.

Day 15: Right Concentration—Deep Focus and Flow

Key Concept: Right concentration refers to cultivating deep concentration through meditation, focusing on a single object with a still mind, and entering a highly clear and stable flow state. This ability is crucial in entrepreneurship—writing code, designing products, analyzing data all require long periods of high concentration. Modern people generally suffer from distraction, while meditation training can reshape brain focus. Apple founder Steve Jobs once stated that his Zen practice enhanced his focus and believed employees could also benefit from meditation.

Application to Entrepreneurship: When you enter a "flow" state, you often have remarkably high efficiency and creativity. Meditation training helps you enter flow more quickly. Many top programmers and designers have fixed "deep work" periods, refusing all distractions, fully concentrating on the project, a habit that coincides with the concept of right concentration. Through regular concentration training, entrepreneurs can still "singlemindedly" handle key tasks even in noisy environments.

Practice: Concentration Meditation—Today, do a 5-minute concentration meditation training. Choose an object, which can be your breath, or the light of a lit candle in front of you. Place all attention on the chosen object. For example, if breath is the object, concentrate on feeling the subtle sensation of air entering and leaving the nostrils; if candle flame is the object, gaze at the shape and changes of the flame. If thoughts wander, gently but firmly bring attention back. When the 5 minutes end, record how many times your mind wandered. Don't be discouraged; this is the process of training your concentration muscle. Persist with this practice daily, and you'll find the time you can concentrate at work gradually extends.

Day 16: Zen Wisdom—Present Focus, Beginner's Mind

School Introduction: Zen is an important sect of Buddhism, emphasizing direct insight into truth through sitting meditation (zazen) and intuitive understanding. Zen thought pursues simplicity, presence, and intuition, described as "a special transmission outside the scriptures, not dependent on words and letters," emphasizing personal experience. When modern people talk about mindfulness and multitasking management, the source can largely be traced back to Zen.

Integration with Entrepreneurship: Zen advocates a "beginner's mind," viewing everything with an open, curious, non-stubborn attitude like a beginner. This is very beneficial for entrepreneurial innovation—maintaining humility and continuous learning, not being limited by existing preconceptions, enables the discovery of new opportunities. Additionally, Zen's concept of presence (living in each moment) can alleviate entrepreneurs' anxiety about future results, allowing full engagement in current tasks. Apple's minimalist product design and aesthetic taste were reportedly deeply influenced by Jobs' Zen practice, to the extent that he often used "focus" and "simplicity" as core product concepts.

Practice: Daily Zen—Try treating one small daily task today as a Zen practice. For example, choose an ordinary thing: brewing tea/coffee, eating lunch, or organizing your desk. Do this with full attention to the process itself. Taking tea brewing as an example: feel each detail of pouring water, the spreading tea fragrance, unhurried, not thinking about the upcoming meeting or last night's emails. Just purely savoring this moment. Afterward, you might be surprised at how an originally mundane small matter conceals the power to calm the mind. This is the beginning of integrating Zen's present-moment focus into life.

Day 17: Pure Land Buddhism Concepts—The Power of Vision and Belief

School Introduction: Pure Land Buddhism has a profound influence in East Asian Buddhism, with the core teaching being the practice of Buddha recitation (repeatedly reciting the name of Amitabha Buddha) and making good deeds and vows, seeking rebirth in the Western Pure Land. Pure Land Buddhism emphasizes the three provisions of faith, aspiration, and practice: faith in the Pure Land, aspiration for rebirth, and actual practice such as Buddha recitation. Simply put, it is holding a beautiful vision in the heart and aligning with it through repeated mindfulness and action.

Integration with Entrepreneurship: Entrepreneurs also need firm belief in a vision. The inspiration from Pure Land Buddhism is that when we have a clear and positive vision in our hearts and continually reinforce it through daily recollection, this vision guides our behavior. For example, an educational technology entrepreneur established the vision of "enabling every child to have fair access to quality education." Every morning meeting, he reaffirms this mission, leading the team to recite the company's mission statement. This repetitive reinforcement, similar to "Buddha recitation," deeply plants the vision in people's hearts, and the team does not forget their original intention even when encountering difficulties, maintaining motivation. Furthermore, the Pure Land tradition emphasizes other-power (relying on Amitabha Buddha's vow power), which in entrepreneurship is manifested as making good use of external support and resources rather than fighting alone.

Practice: Vision Contemplation—Spend 5 minutes sitting quietly, close your eyes, and visualize the business blueprint you hope to achieve. Try to "see" the scene of this vision coming true in your mind as concretely as possible, such as the smiling faces of users benefiting from your product, the scene of the team celebrating milestone victories, etc. Then silently recite your vision statement in your mind (such as "make ___ more ___"), repeat it multiple times, and experience the firmness and excitement in your heart. This practice is similar to the contemplation and Buddha recitation in Pure Land Buddhism, enhancing your belief and enthusiasm for goals.

Day 18: Tantric Techniques—Good Use of Inner Energy and Visualization

School Introduction: Tantra (Tibetan Buddhism/Vajrayana) is known for its unique practice methods, such as mantra recitation, deity visualization, mandala practice, etc., emphasizing rapid transformation of the mind through "skillful means." Tantric thought holds that mundane desires and emotions are not entirely harmful; if well utilized and transformed, they can become driving forces toward enlightenment. This idea of "fighting poison with poison" or "converting afflictions into bodhi" is very special.

Integration with Entrepreneurship: On the entrepreneurial journey, you will encounter various negative emotions and strong desires, such as desire for success, jealousy of competition, fear of failure. The inspiration from Tantra is: don't simply suppress them, but transform and utilize them. For example, transform jealousy of competitors into motivation to learn their strengths and spur your own progress; sublimate the desire for success into enthusiasm for the business mission. Tantra's visualization method also helps entrepreneurs—enhancing confidence and creativity through positive mental suggestions and imagination. Many athletes and entrepreneurs do positive visualization before major actions; this is one way to concentrate inner energy.

Practice: Mind Mantra—Design a positive phrase that meets your current needs as your "heart mantra." For example, if you're feeling low in morale, use the phrase "I have the power and wisdom to overcome challenges." If you're restless, use "Calm Focus." Throughout today, when you feel the corresponding negative emotion rising, silently repeat your heart mantra dozens of times, accompanied by deep breathing, visualizing yourself surrounded by positive energy. This is similar to Tantric mantra recitation, which can quickly transform emotions and enhance positive energy.

Day 19: The Middle Way—Harmonizing Work and Life

Key Concept: The Middle Way is one of the core concepts taught by the Buddha after his enlightenment, meaning not going to extremes but taking a balanced, moderate path. In practice, Buddha discovered that both asceticism and indulgence were not desirable; one needs to take a middle road. For entrepreneurs, the Middle Way means balancing work and life, ambition and health, ideals and reality, not falling into an unbalanced state.

Application to Entrepreneurship: There are often two misconceptions in early entrepreneurship: one is excessive investment, working overtime without rest, seriously damaging health and family relationships; the other is lack of discipline, relaxing once the passion fades. The Middle Way requires us to remain diligent while knowing appropriate rest. For example, the founder of the American online shoe retailer Zappos experienced continuous overnight work in his entrepreneurship, but after his body raised red flags, he began to reflect and adjusted to a work-rest balanced rhythm, resulting in more energy and steadier decisions. The principle of moderation is evident throughout entrepreneurship: too many complicated product features actually result in poor user experience; too aggressive market investment strains the capital chain. Following the concept of the Middle Way can help us constantly calibrate, avoiding straying too far from the path.

Practice: Balance Self-Check—Draw a simple "life-work balance wheel": list five dimensions of work, health, family, learning, leisure, draw five scales (0-10 points) on paper to indicate your satisfaction with the energy invested in each dimension (10 being very balanced and satisfactory, 0 being extremely neglected). Honestly score each dimension, then observe if your "wheel" is well-rounded. If a certain aspect is obviously low, think about how to make adjustments. For example, if health scores low, plan fixed weekly exercise; if family scores low, increase quality companionship time. Try to implement one adjustment measure this week, moving toward a more balanced Middle Way state.

Day 20: Compassionate Leadership—Leading Teams with Altruistic Heart

Key Concept: Compassion is one of the core spirits of Mahayana Buddhism, manifested in leadership as management with empathy and a helping heart. Compassion is not weakness but the willingness to care for others' well-being, alleviate others' suffering, and take action. Former LinkedIn CEO Jeff Weiner emphasized that "managing teams with compassion is not only a better way to build teams but also a better way to build companies." He defined compassion as empathy plus action and strongly advocated it in company practice.

Application to Entrepreneurship: In the competitive business world, some may think compassionate leadership is impractical, but more and more examples prove that a compassionate corporate culture can bring higher employee loyalty and cohesion, as well as more long-term success. For example, a startup CEO insisted on accommodating employees' personal difficulties in personnel decisions (such as flexible work systems supporting employees with children), resulting in employees spontaneously working harder for the company, with turnover rates far below the industry average. Compassionate leadership doesn't mean tolerating errors but creating an atmosphere where the team feels understood and respected beyond rigorous management. Such an atmosphere can inspire greater responsibility and creativity within everyone.

Practice: Empathy Exercise—Choose a team member, perhaps a colleague who has been in poor condition or performance recently. Spend 10 minutes talking with them, but this time focus not on work tasks but on their state, asking if there's anything they need help with. Practice listening from a "bystander's perspective"; when they speak, concentrate fully, not rushing to evaluate or give advice, just trying to feel their emotions. Afterward, review your heart: do you understand them better? Does this empathy also make your heart feel softer and calmer? In the future, take time each week for such caring communication to cultivate compassionate leadership.

Day 21: Wise Decision—Empty Thinking and Decision-Making Power

Key Concept: The "Prajna wisdom" in Buddhism arises from the insight into the true nature of all things (especially dependent origination and emptiness). Simply put, it is insight into the deep causal connections and essence of things, not being deceived by surface phenomena and fixed ideas. This wisdom helps us break thinking inertia and make clear decisions. For entrepreneurs, wise decision-making means both rational analysis and thinking outside the box, intuitive insight, avoiding biases caused by emotions and obsessions.

Application to Entrepreneurship: Empty thinking can be applied to business decisions. So-called emptiness doesn't mean nothing exists, but seeing that things exist temporarily due to conditions coming together. For example, when facing a business crisis, a wise leader won't think "this failure proves we're worthless" (a fixed view), but understands that failure is the result of various factors and conditions combined, which can be reversed by changing conditions. This recognition avoids extreme emotions like despair or arrogance, making decisions more objective and practical. Additionally, wisdom is also manifested as the ability to see the big picture from small signs—predicting trends through small indications, quickly grasping opportunities through intuition. Many excellent entrepreneurs combine data analysis with intuitive insight in major decisions, with the two complementing each other.

Practice: Decision Contemplation—Choose a current decision (from expanding into a new market to which proposal to use for tomorrow's presentation). Use wisdom contemplation to handle it: first list the visible elements and conditions of this decision (such as market data, team capabilities, resource status, etc.), calmly analyzing their causal relationships. Then sit quietly for 3 minutes, empty your mind, no longer obsessing over the listed details, observing if any new ideas or intuitions emerge. Finally, combine rational analysis and inner intuition to make a decision or write down your inclination. This process trains you to balance analysis and intuition, gradually cultivating more comprehensive decision-making ability.

Day 22: Patience and Long-termism—The Practice of Accumulating Strength for Future Success

Key Concept: In the Six Paramitas (Perfections) of Buddhism, one is kshanti (patience/forbearance), meaning endurance and tolerance. Spiritual practice requires long-term, unremitting effort, as does entrepreneurship. Patience is not passive waiting but remaining calm and composed in the process of persisting in the right direction, neither anxious nor impatient. The Buddhist perspective on time is profound, teaching that causes and effects may span lifetimes, inspiring us to view success and failure with a long-term perspective.

Application to Entrepreneurship: Many successes in business history are actually the result of years of silent cultivation, not achieved overnight. For example, a startup company spent several consecutive years deeply cultivating a niche market with flat revenue, but the founding team always believed the direction was correct, patiently polishing the product, and finally achieved explosive growth in the fifth year, far ahead of competitors. This long-termism perfectly aligns with the Buddhist principle "as you sow, so shall you reap": as long as the direction and method are right, persist in planting good causes, and good results will eventually come. Conversely, seeking quick success and being impetuous often leads to rushing but achieving nothing. Patience is also demonstrated when facing investor pressure or external questioning, being able to stand firm and not waver from the original intention.

Practice: Future Vision Letter—Write a letter to your future self, imagining five years from now, for which perseverance your future self would be grateful to your current self. Write down several goals you hope to achieve in five years, and the actions you are willing to continuously make for those goals. Then solemnly keep this letter or set a reminder to email it to yourself in five years. This ritualistic practice can strengthen your long-term commitment. In daily life, whenever you encounter short-term setbacks, remind yourself of the existence of this letter, telling yourself: "Take a long-term view of things; I am laying the groundwork for future success."

Day 23: Dealing with Success and Failure—Inner Equanimity

Key Concept: Buddhist practice seeks equanimity, letting-go mind, maintaining inner calm that remains unshaken in favorable and adverse circumstances. The ancients said, "Unmoved by honor or disgrace, calmly watching flowers bloom and fall in the courtyard," referring to this state. The entrepreneurial journey has both peaks and valleys; cultivating equanimity (also called upeksha or Equanimity) can prevent you from becoming arrogant due to success or being devastated by failure.

Application to Entrepreneurship: There is a Silicon Valley saying: "Treat success and failure the same." Many serial entrepreneurs know this well; they neither become complacent or arrogant due to successful funding nor view a failure as the end, but see each success and failure as a lesson in the process. Such a mindset enables them to quickly rise from failure and rationally view success to continue moving forward. For example, after a startup company's product launch received great acclaim, the founder reminded the team not to be carried away by praise and immediately began planning the next stage of improvement; when another product was met with cold reception, he also calmly analyzed the reasons, adjusted strategy, and came back strong. The Buddhist teaching of the "eight winds" (gain, loss, defamation, fame, praise, ridicule, suffering, and joy) teaches us that fame, fortune, and setbacks are merely scenery on life's journey; there is no need to be overly indulgent or resistant.

Practice: Wind Observation Self-Reflection—Recall your most impressive success experience and failure experience from the past year. Write down the emotional and mental changes these two events brought you at the time. For example, was there self-satisfaction or neglect of others during success? Was there self-doubt or depression during failure? Next, try to retell these two events from an "observer's" perspective, as if they happened to someone else, and see if they still evoke strong emotional fluctuations. If the emotions are not as intense, it indicates you are moving toward equanimity. Finally, silently recite a sentence in your heart: "Success and failure are both impermanent experiences; I can only maintain my original intention and continue to make progress." Use this sentence as a motto when facing ups and downs in the future.

Day 24: Mindfulness Stress Reduction—Settling Body and Mind in Busyness

Key Concept: Entrepreneurial pressure is enormous, but Buddhism provides many excellent methods for stress reduction, among which Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR, etc.) has been proven effective by Western medicine. Through mindfulness practice, we learn to observe stressors rather than react to them reflexively, thus handling affairs with a more composed mindset. A Google employee expressed after completing a mindfulness course: "I completely changed how I deal with stress. I think before reacting and am more considerate of others. I like this new self!" This shows that mindfulness can make people emotionally more stable and reactions wiser.

Application to Entrepreneurship: When facing high-pressure situations such as investment negotiations, emergency product failures, or user complaints, mindfulness can be your "psychological shock absorber." Using mindfulness techniques, you can catch a moment's gap before your brain is flooded with emotions, allowing rationality to regain control. For example, a customer service supervisor used to respond irritably when faced with angry customer calls, becoming infected by the other party's emotions. Since practicing mindful breathing, he learned to first take a few seconds of deep breaths, observe his own anger, and then calmly respond to the other party, resulting in better communication effects and reducing his own stress.

Practice: Breathing Space—This is a classic 3-minute mindfulness stress reduction exercise that can be used anytime. First minute: Stop and notice your current physical and mental state, noticing what thoughts and emotions are present (whether good or bad, just observe them). Second minute: Focus all attention on your breathing, feeling each inhalation and exhalation, letting the breath be natural and steady. Third minute: Expand awareness from the breath to the whole body, relax tense areas, then open your eyes and continue with the present work. These 3 minutes are like opening a small space in the midst of busyness, allowing stress to be released. Try to practice several times today, especially when you feel pressure rising, immediately give yourself this "breathing space."

Day 25: Focus and Digital Life—Training to Avoid Distractions

Key Concept: Internet entrepreneurs are often surrounded by various digital information: emails, messages, social media... These fragmented pieces of information constantly invade attention, seriously affecting the ability to do deep work. Buddhism teaches eliminating craving and attachment, which in the modern context can also be understood as moderate restraint from information and stimulation. To maintain focus, we need to wisely manage our digital lives, making tools serve us, not enslaving us to tools.

Application to Entrepreneurship: More and more creative workers are implementing "digital meditation"—for example, not looking at phones and turning off notifications for fixed hours each day, simulating the pure environment of meditation to focus on work. A startup company discovered declining engineer performance, which analysis attributed to frequent chat software notifications. So they stipulated 2-5 PM as "quiet coding time," during which non-urgent messages were not sent, resulting in a 30% increase in code output. This proves that focus is a resource that can be protected. The shamatha-vipashyana method in Buddhism can also be borrowed: using "shamatha" (stopping distractions, having more purity) and "vipashyana" (observing distracting thoughts without being pulled away) attitudes to counter information overload.

Practice: Digital Precept—Set a small digital life precept for yourself today. For example: "No more checking work messages after 9 PM," or "Phone on silent in a drawer during focus work periods." During the day, you can also try the Pomodoro Technique (25 minutes of focus + 5 minutes of rest), thoroughly eliminating all irrelevant information during the focus segment. During the implementation of the precept, observe your psychological reactions: do you feel anxious wanting to check your phone? This observation itself is a mindfulness practice. Record your experience. If the effect is good, consider keeping this precept in the long term to build a digital protective wall for your focus.

Day 26: Cultivating Creativity—Maintaining Curiosity and Empty Cup Mentality

Key Concept: Buddhism often talks about the "empty cup mentality," meaning keeping one's attitude like an empty cup, to continually accommodate new water. This aligns perfectly with the open-mindedness needed for innovation. When we don't cling to preconceptions, are willing to acknowledge our ignorance, we have space to learn and create. Zen's "beginner's mind" emphasizes looking at the world with fresh eyes, treating each moment as if it were the first encounter. This attitude can greatly stimulate creativity because you won't be confined by notions like "this is impossible" or "we've always done it this way."

Application to Entrepreneurship: Many technological and business breakthroughs in history often came from breaking conventional thinking. Cultivating this thinking requires deliberately practicing stepping out of comfort zones. For example, Yahoo founder Jerry Yang diversified employee backgrounds in the early stages of entrepreneurship to ensure different viewpoints collided within the team, avoiding limited thinking—this is the practice of the empty cup mentality at the team level. Another example is Google's famous "20% time" policy, encouraging engineers to spend part of their time exploring new ideas outside their regular work. The success of this system (producing innovative products like Gmail) also stems from giving people space to maintain beginner's mind and curiosity.

Practice: Brainstorming Zen—For a current problem facing your company, try an unconventional brainstorming session: spend 5 minutes writing down as many unusual, seemingly crazy solutions as possible, regardless of how unrealistic they seem. Then change perspective, and spend another 5 minutes thinking: "If I were a complete novice in this field, how would I solve it?" Write down the answers. Finally, compare these non-traditional ideas with conventional solutions, and see if any novel and feasible ideas have been inspired. This exercise aims to break habitual thinking, welcoming all possibilities with an empty cup mentality.

Day 27: Gratitude and Humility—Harvesting Positive Energy

Key Concept: Buddhist practice often emphasizes a heart of gratitude and the virtue of humility. Gratitude cultivates our compassion and sense of contentment; humility keeps us alert at all times, not letting arrogance obscure wisdom. For entrepreneurs, gratitude helps build a positive team culture and cooperative relationships; humility allows you to continuously learn and improve. In the midst of busy pursuit of goals, stopping to be grateful for people who have helped you and resources you possess can bring inner joy and peace.

Application to Entrepreneurship: One CEO consistently writes gratitude notes to the team every week, thanking members for their hard work and customers for their feedback and suggestions. These sincere words greatly inspired team morale and also brought the company closer to users. In terms of humility, after successfully securing funding, he proactively invited industry veterans to guide the team, acknowledging that he needed to continue learning. This approach won more trust from investors and employees, who believed he would not become complacent with temporary success. Gratitude helps you discover surrounding support and opportunities; humility helps you avoid blind spots and attract good connections. This positive energy ultimately feeds back into the business.

Practice: Daily Three Gratitudes—Before sleeping tonight, write down three things you are grateful for in your journal, even small things (such as "grateful for the technical partner who voluntarily worked overtime to fix bugs today," "an afternoon cup of coffee from a colleague that cheered me up"). Feel the warmth each thing brings. Then, recall if there was a moment today when you felt proud and self-satisfied or unwilling to listen to opinions, record that moment, and consider: "If I were more humble, what would be different?" Tomorrow, deliberately practice humility in similar situations. Long-term persistence with gratitude journaling and humility reflection will lead to positive changes in your interpersonal relationships and mindset.

Day 28: Case Study—Insights from Google's Mindfulness Program

Case Background: Google, as a top global internet company, has attracted wide attention for its internally incubated mindfulness program "Search Inside Yourself." Created by meditator Chade-Meng Tan, the program combines meditation with emotional intelligence training. Reportedly, thousands of Google employees participate each year, and the company views it as a core way to cultivate emotional intelligence and focus. Many participants report that the course significantly reduces stress and improves empathy and concentration. Google's practice proves that Buddhist wisdom (appearing in mindfulness form) is not mystical in high-tech companies but a practical tool for effectively enhancing individual and team performance.

Case Analysis: Why has the mindfulness program been so successful at Google? First, it addresses the pain points of the modern workplace: scattered attention and excessive stress. Through three stages of attention training, self-awareness, and cultivating good intentions, it helps employees train their minds in fast-paced work to be more stable and efficient. Second, Google presents Buddhist essence in scientific language and secularized ways, "not directly mentioning Buddhism, but with core concepts all within." This inspires us that when promoting mindfulness and other concepts in corporate culture, they can be packaged in language easily accepted by employees. Finally, the support and leading by example from Google's top management is important—many leaders practice meditation themselves, creating an atmosphere where the company supports employees' self-improvement.

Lessons for Entrepreneurs: Even if your team is not large, you can reference Google's experience and introduce some mindfulness practices as part of daily team activities. For example, collectively being silent for 1 minute before weekly meetings, or inviting professional mindfulness instructors to conduct a few workshops for the team. Practice shows that these investments can be exchanged for employees' more focused work state and healthier psychology, thus improving the fighting capacity and creativity of entrepreneurial teams.

Practice: Program Design—Based on your team's characteristics, design a "small mindfulness activity." It could be a 5-minute meditation check-in every morning or a group mindfulness practice every Friday afternoon (such as doing brief breathing exercises together or sharing gratitude examples from the week). Write down your plan and try to implement it, seeing how the team responds. Even if only two or three people participate at the start, that's fine; you will be leading by example, sowing the seeds of mindfulness in the team.

Day 29: Case Study—The Management Way of a "Buddhist" Entrepreneur

Case Background: In the Asian business world, many well-known entrepreneurs are deeply influenced by Buddhism. Taking Kazuo Inamori, one of Japan's "Four Management Saints" as an example, this founder of Kyocera and KDDI incorporated a strong Buddhist spirit into his management philosophy. He advocated the creed of "Respect Heaven and Love People" (respecting the conscience of heaven and earth, loving others), requiring employees to follow the principle of "what is right as a human being" to judge matters, which coincides with Buddhist precepts and compassion. According to colleagues' recollections, Inamori would sit in meditation briefly every morning, reflecting on whether his thoughts and intentions were proper, and praying for the company and employees to progress together. This habit of self-reflection and prayer embodies Buddhist practice. He led Kyocera in long-term adherence to altruistic and honest management principles, winning global reputation for the enterprise amid fierce competition.

Case Analysis: Inamori's example shows the tremendous power of Buddhist wisdom in business management:

  • Altruism and Win-Win: He emphasized that business should consider others, putting employee happiness and customer satisfaction first, with profits naturally following (similar to the concept of cause and effect). It has been proven that Kyocera's employees are extremely loyal and customer relationships stable, which is the long-term dividend brought by this altruistic culture.
  • Self-Discipline and Reflection: Daily meditation and reflection keep managers humble and cautious, not clouded by greed. During the economic bubble period, he rejected many speculative expansion opportunities, keeping the company steady, because meditation allowed him to see temporary greed clearly, choosing rational restraint.
  • Sense of Mission: In his later years, Inamori was invited to save Japan Airlines, which was on the brink of bankruptcy. He accepted this heavy responsibility with bodhisattva-like compassion, advocating within the company the idea that "providing safe flight services for people is a noble mission," reshaping employee morale, and ultimately bringing Japan Airlines back from the dead. This embodies the spirit of viewing business as a field for helping sentient beings, caring for employees and customers as sentient beings.

Lessons for Entrepreneurs: Regardless of company size, entrepreneurs can learn: injecting principles of altruism and integrity when formulating company values; developing habits of self-reflection, frequently examining whether motivations and decisions have deviated from the right path; when encountering difficulties, inspiring team morale and fighting spirit with the mindset of serving the public. A so-called "Buddhist entrepreneur" is not passive and world-avoiding, but has inner faith and stability, responding to myriad changes with an equanimous mind. Such leaders are often more able to firmly hold direction in crisis and not forget their original intention in favorable circumstances.

Practice: Daily Reflection—Drawing from Inamori's method, try daily lesson reflection starting today. Sit quietly for 5 minutes before sleep each night, reviewing the day's words, actions, and decisions: were there any violations of integrity or altruism? Any arrogance or greed? For problems discovered, sincerely repent in your heart and vow to improve tomorrow. You can silently recite: "May I be more wise and compassionate tomorrow, benefiting others." This reflection and aspiration will help you continuously correct your course, maintaining a moral compass in the sea of business.

Day 30: Review and Outlook—Continuous Practice of Buddhist Wisdom

Course Summary: After 30 days of learning and practice, you have initially integrated the core concepts of Buddhism into various aspects of entrepreneurial life. From cognitive aspects like impermanence, non-self, Four Noble Truths, and Eightfold Path, to the unique wisdom of different Buddhist schools, to mindfulness, compassion, and long-termism in management practice, etc., you have created a set of inner skills for yourself. This mental method will enable you to maintain a sense of composure and clarity when facing the changing winds of the business world. Looking back at the subtle changes over the past month, perhaps you've already experienced the subtle transformations in thinking and behavior brought by 10 minutes of daily practice—more focused, more peaceful, and better able to think about issues from a long-term perspective.

Future Planning: The cultivation of Buddhist wisdom is a lifelong subject; these 30 days are just a starting point. Moving forward, you can:

  • Continue Daily Practices: Integrate practices that have helped you most (such as morning meditation, journaling reflection, gratitude recording, etc.) into your daily routine, persisting for the long term.
  • Deepen Learning: Read some Buddhist books suitable for entrepreneurs or modern spiritual growth books, such as Master Hsing Yun's "The True Meaning of Buddhism," or mindful leadership books authored by business consultants, absorbing nourishment from them.
  • Seek Community: Join mindfulness meditation, small Zen retreats, or Buddhist salons, meet like-minded fellow travelers, and encourage each other. You can also regularly share experiences in this area with team members, progressing together.
  • Wisdom Application: In future major decisions or difficulties, consider which wisdom from these 30 days can guide you. For example, recall right view and cause-effect when decision-making is confused, remember compassion and integrity during intense competition, use impermanence observation to find turning points during growth bottlenecks. Actively apply Buddhist wisdom in business practice.

Graduation Practice: Creating a Personal Cultivation Outline—Take some time to write a "Buddhist Wisdom Practice Plan" for yourself, listing plans for the next 1 month, 3 months, and 1 year. For example: meditate 10 minutes daily; practice empathetic listening when encountering conflicts; do a retreat quarterly, etc. Post the plan in a prominent place, regularly self-check implementation. You can also revisit the content of this 30-day course periodically, examining your growth trajectory against it.

Finally, let us share a Buddhist verse: "Purify one's mind; this is the teaching of all Buddhas." Entrepreneurship is like spiritual practice; only by continuously purifying one's thoughts, enhancing wisdom and compassion, can one lead the business toward virtuous cycles, steady progress, and a bright future. May you be vigorously diligent on your future entrepreneurial journey, always carrying wisdom and compassion, achieving success in business while also harvesting inner freedom and peace. 🙏

30-Day SaaS Founder Mindset Growth Course

· 52 min read

Day 1: Clarify Your Mission

Introduction: Every entrepreneurial journey begins with a mission. Take 10 minutes to reflect on why you started your business: what problem do you want to solve, and what change do you want to bring to the world? The co-founder of the famous SaaS company Basecamp, Jason Fried, had a clear vision of "empowering web designers through simple web tools" when he founded the company in 1999. A clear mission will become your North Star in difficult moments.

Exercise:

  • Write a one-sentence description of your entrepreneurial mission: "I founded this company to..." Make sure it's intuitive, meaningful, and motivating when you read it.
  • List 3 reasons that drive you to pursue this mission. Consider how these reasons give you strength.

Reflection Question: Why is this mission so important to you? Recall the passion you felt when you first decided to start a business, record this emotion, and reinforce it in your heart.

Day 2: Craft Your Vision

Introduction: With a mission in place, we also need to maintain imagination for a better future. Vision is a vivid depiction of the future that can inspire you to maintain a long-term perspective. As summarized by entrepreneurial media, successful entrepreneurs often adhere to a long-term vision from the beginning and find genuine market needs. Today, let's envision your entrepreneurial success.

Exercise:

  • Visualize your future: Close your eyes and imagine your company in 5 years: How will your product change users' lives? What will your team culture be like? Write down this future scenario in a few sentences, being as specific as possible.
  • Describe your ideal day: Imagine what your ideal workday as a founder would look like once your vision is realized. Note what you're doing, who you're with, and what achievements you've made. This will help clarify the direction of your efforts.

Reflection Question: To achieve such a future, what do you need to persist with today? What skills and resources do you need to accumulate? List these out to lay the foundation for subsequent planning.

Day 3: Define Your Core Values

Introduction: Core values are the foundation that supports your mission and vision. They serve as your compass when making decisions and facing temptations. For example, Basecamp has always maintained "simplicity" and "user-centricity" as core principles, and its products have stood out in the market due to their simple and user-friendly features. Clarifying your values will help you stay on the right path during difficult times.

Exercise:

  • List 3-5 non-negotiable core values for you (e.g., integrity, simplicity, customer first, long-term thinking, etc.).
  • Under each value, write a sentence or two explaining its importance to your entrepreneurial journey. For example, "Customer first: Every decision must prioritize enhancing the user experience."
  • Reflect on a recent major decision and consider whether these values guided it. If not, how can you better implement them in the future?

Reflection Question: Which values would remind you to stay true to your original intent when faced with short-term temptations (such as trading values for quick profits)? Think about these scenarios in advance to strengthen your psychological preparation against temptation.

Day 4: Write Your Vision Statement

Introduction: Distilling scattered thoughts into words can make your vision more powerful. A vision statement is a short, powerful piece of text describing the future state and impact your company aims to achieve. Many successful founders write down their vision and post it on their desks to remind themselves "why they started." Today, you'll craft your own vision statement.

Exercise:

  • Draft your vision statement: In one paragraph, describe your ideal future company and its impact (refer to your imagination from Day 2). Use inspiring language that energizes you when reading it. For example: "Within five years, we will become leaders in the ____ field, helping ____ (target users) more easily ____ (solve problems) every day, making ____ better."
  • Refine and read aloud: Review and edit this paragraph repeatedly, ensuring the text is concise and powerful, not exceeding 4-5 sentences. Then read it aloud to yourself to feel whether it's inspiring.
  • Optional task: Write your final vision statement on a piece of paper and place it somewhere visible daily, like the edge of your computer screen or the first page of your notebook.

Reflection Question: Does this vision statement truly represent your ambition? Would reading it reignite your passion if you felt confused or tired one day? Make sure the answer is "Yes"—if not, continue revising until you're satisfied.

Day 5: Think Long-Term, Avoid Short-Term Traps

Introduction: During the entrepreneurial process, you will inevitably encounter shortsighted temptations and pressures, such as pursuing illusory growth metrics or seeking quick success. However, truly successful bootstrapped entrepreneurs understand the importance of focusing on long-term success rather than short-term gains and losses. Today, we'll strengthen your long-term thinking to ensure your decisions always prioritize your vision.

Case Inspiration: Chris, the founder of Ruca, mentioned when sharing his experience that self-entrepreneurship taught him the most valuable lesson: always maintain control and belief in your vision, focus on long-term value rather than immediate gains. It was this determination that allowed them to build meaningful, impactful products at their own pace.

Exercise:

  • Short-term vs. Long-term Listing: List your current main goals or problems, then consider both short-term solutions and long-term approaches. For example, a short-term temptation might be "reducing product quality for faster monetization," while the long-term choice would be "continuously refining the product to win word-of-mouth." Write them down for comparison.
  • Check decision tendencies: Review important decisions you've made in the past month and ask yourself whether these decisions were for short-term benefits or truly conducive to your long-term vision. Record two or three examples in your journal and reflect on whether adjustments are needed.
  • Commit to long-term thinking: Write down a commitment on paper, such as: "I choose to be guided by a long-term vision, even if it seems more difficult in the short term." Date it as a pledge to yourself.

Reflection Question: What is currently making you feel anxious or pressured? Are these pressures driving you to make choices that go against your long-term interests? How can you adjust your mindset to view current problems from a long-term perspective? Write down your thoughts to prevent falling into similar predicaments next time.

Day 6: Mindfulness Practice for Founders

Introduction: Mental construction requires a stable mindset. Mindfulness is an effective method that can help you maintain clarity and peace in the ever-changing entrepreneurial environment. Many entrepreneurs reduce stress and enhance focus through mindfulness practices like meditation and deep breathing. For example, entrepreneur Matthew Bellows mentioned that regular meditation helped him maintain inner calm and focus while expanding his business. Today, we'll try simple mindfulness exercises.

Exercise:

  • 5-minute breathing meditation: Find a quiet place to sit down and set a timer for 5 minutes. Close your eyes and focus all your attention on your breathing. Feel each inhalation and exhalation, letting thoughts flow naturally without chasing them. If you get distracted, gently bring your attention back to your breathing.
  • Body scan relaxation: If you have time, do a head-to-toe body scan. Focus on the sensations in each part of your body (such as head, shoulders and neck, chest and abdomen, legs and feet), consciously relaxing tense areas.
  • Mindfulness record: After practicing, write down your feelings in your journal. For example: "After meditation, my mind is clearer, and anxiety has eased." Record these positive experiences to encourage yourself to maintain the mindfulness habit.

Additional Tip: Scientific research shows that mindfulness can improve your adaptability to changes and difficulties, allowing you to make calmer, less impulsive decisions. Spending a few minutes "being with yourself" each day will, in the long run, help you lead your company forward with a clearer mind.

Day 7: Positive Affirmations

Introduction: The entrepreneurial journey requires constant self-motivation. Positive self-talk can reshape your beliefs and maintain your confidence in adversity. Many successful entrepreneurs practice positive affirmations daily to reinforce their determination. A commonly quoted saying reminds us of the significance of perseverance: "I've come this far, I want to see what happens if I never give up." Today, let's practice the power of self-affirmation.

Exercise:

  • Write 3 self-affirmation statements: Based on your situation, write down three positive, first-person "I..." affirmations. Ensure these statements energize you immediately upon reading. For example: "My efforts will eventually pay off," "I have the ability to overcome any difficulty," "I am practicing my mission, and I'm improving every day."
  • Daily declaration: Read each of these three affirmations aloud 3 times. This can be done after waking up in the morning or before resting at night, integrating it into your daily routine. Read with a firm, powerful tone, as if giving yourself a pep talk.
  • Post reminders: If convenient, write one of the most meaningful affirmations on a sticky note and place it on your desk, computer screen, or phone standby screen as a constant reminder.

Reflection Question: When you encounter setbacks, what negative thoughts typically come to mind? Select one or two and try to flip them into positive statements to add to your affirmation list. For example, change "I might not make it" to "I am continuously growing, and I am fully capable of handling this." Record this mental shift in your journal.

Day 8: Overcome Imposter Syndrome

Introduction: Many entrepreneurs periodically doubt themselves, thinking "I'm not good enough" or "I'm just pretending"—this is typical imposter syndrome. Remember, this self-doubt is very common—it's not just happening to you. In fact, most founders have experienced this unease. The key is not to let it hinder your progress.

Empathy Prompt: When you feel inadequate or doubt your abilities, consider that those entrepreneurs you admire also struggle with the same feelings yet choose to continue moving forward. As one entrepreneurial writer said: "Stepping into the unknown, there's always a part of your brain that's afraid. But you don't have to listen to that voice." — We must learn to move forward despite uncertainty.

Exercise:

  • Write down your insecurities: List specific thoughts that make you feel "not good enough" on paper. For example: "I'm not good at sales, so I can't get customers"; "Others know more about technology than I do."
  • Fact check: For each insecurity, write down factual evidence that supports or refutes it. For instance, "I successfully persuaded 5 customers to buy my product in the past" can refute the idea that "I'm not good at sales." Use facts to clarify your true strengths.
  • Accept imperfection: Write in your journal: "Even when I feel insecure and imperfect, I still choose to move forward." Acknowledge the existence of these feelings, but don't let them control your actions. Tell yourself: No one is 100% confident; what matters is acting despite doubts.

Reflection Question: What can you tell yourself next time the thought "I can't do it" appears? Perhaps remind yourself of past achievements, or confide in mentors and friends for encouragement. Think of response strategies in advance, so when negative thoughts strike, you're already prepared to dissolve them.

Day 9: Reframe Negative Self-Talk

Introduction: Entrepreneurs are often their own harshest critics. When facing difficulties, our inner voice may constantly amplify our shortcomings, trapping us in negative self-talk. This negative self-dialogue is dangerous as it can undermine your confidence. But the good news is that you can break this cycle by deliberately shifting your focus. As entrepreneur Arvid Kahl suggests: when you find yourself in an echo chamber of self-doubt, try shifting your attention away from yourself and toward your customers and the value you're creating for them.

Exercise:

  • Capture negative thoughts: Recall a recent situation where you constantly blamed or doubted yourself, such as struggling to fix a product bug. "Catch" the specific negative phrases that ran through your mind (like "I'm technically incompetent"). Write them down as the first step in identifying negative self-talk.
  • Shift perspective: Now, write down thoughts from the customer's perspective. For example: "This bug is indeed challenging, but my product has already helped many customers in other ways, and they still need me to continue improving it." By focusing on customer needs, you can weaken self-criticism about your abilities.
  • Friendly self-talk: Imagine a good friend expressing these self-doubts to you. How would you comfort them? Write down such comfort directed at your own situation. For example: "Technical problems always have solutions; you've solved many difficult problems before, and you can solve this one too." Offer yourself reassurance and encouragement from a third-person perspective.

Reflection Question: When you focus on customers and product value, do you find that your personal ego concerns diminish? How can you use "creating value for customers" as a driving force to replace the mindset of "fearing I'm not good enough"? Try thinking more about "my product is helping people" in your daily work, and less about "how others will evaluate me."

Day 10: Commit and Give Your Best

Introduction: The thought of giving up inevitably emerges during the entrepreneurial process. However, true success often comes from choosing to persevere and give your all at crucial moments. ConvertKit founder Nathan Barry's story serves as a powerful inspiration: when his company's growth stagnated and he was hesitant, he asked himself, "Have I really given it my all?" Realizing he hadn't, he made a tough decision to close other businesses and invest all his energy and savings into ConvertKit, going all-in on the endeavor. It was this determination that turned the company's fate around.

Case Review: Nathan understood that if he gave up, he would definitely ask himself later, "What if I had persevered a little longer?" This unwillingness to abandon his mission led him to make one final push. "I'm focusing on one thing, hoping I can do it well," he told himself. Soon after, the company's performance improved. This story proves that taking one more step at a critical moment can lead to victory just ahead.

Exercise:

  • Self-questioning: Consider whether you're truly giving your all to your entrepreneurial dream. Honestly answer in your journal: "Have I given 100% commitment?" If not, what's holding you back?
  • Focus commitment: List specific actions where you could be more committed. For example: reducing side projects that distract you, investing more time in developing core products, or personally visiting more customers for feedback. Choose one or two to implement in the coming week.
  • All-in declaration: Write a statement declaring your commitment, similar to Nathan's decision. For example: "For the next 30 days, I will focus entirely on ____, without diverting my energy." Read it to yourself sincerely, reinforcing this determination.

Reflection Question: If you don't give it your all now, will you regret it in the future? Imagine looking back on today several years from now—what choice would you hope to see yourself making? Let your future self guide your current decisions. Write down insights from this "future perspective" in your journal, motivating your current efforts to leave no regrets.

Day 11: Embrace Failure and Learn

Introduction: There are no smooth sailing on the entrepreneurial path. The key is how you view failure and setbacks: do you see them as personal inadequacies or valuable learning opportunities? Excellent entrepreneurs choose the latter. They understand that each failure is a stepping stone to growth, and behind every successful founder lies a string of mistakes. What's important is developing a healthy attitude toward failure, adjusting quickly, and moving forward.

Method Reference: Entrepreneurial author Arvid mentions the importance of cultivating a healthy view of failure early on: reconstructing failure as learning, rather than labeling yourself as "inadequate." To achieve this, practice self-compassion, allow yourself to make mistakes, and remember that everyone experiences setbacks. He reminds us: "Every successful founder's path is marked by the footprints of errors." Therefore, the real mistake is not daring to try again or learn from experience.

Exercise:

  • List past failures: Write down 1-2 major setbacks or failures you've experienced since starting your business (such as delayed product launches, losing important customers, failed financing attempts, etc.). Recall how you felt and reacted at the time.
  • Extract lessons: Write at least one lesson learned from each failure. For example: "That launch delay taught me to create more realistic project timelines." Organize these lessons, and you'll find that each failure forced you to grow.
  • Self-compassion: Contrasting with your self-blame emotions at the time, now take an outsider's perspective and write a few encouraging words to your past self, including understanding of the mistakes and affirming the attitude to move forward. For example: "You did your best at the time; failure doesn't mean you're not good enough, but tells you what improvements to make next time. Keep going!" This is actually practicing compassion and tolerance toward yourself.

Reflection Question: Is there still something you're afraid might fail? Write it down, along with what the worst outcome would be. Then ask yourself: Even if it fails, what could I learn? Is the worst result truly irreversible? By finding a "transformation outlet" for failure in advance, you'll have more courage when actually facing it.

Day 12: Practice Gratitude

Introduction: A grateful heart can provide sustained positive energy during tough entrepreneurial times. When we recognize the people and things that support and contribute to who we are today, warmth and strength fill our hearts. Psychological research shows that cultivating gratitude helps improve happiness and resilience to stress. For entrepreneurs, gratitude also reminds us of those who believe in us, thereby strengthening our determination. Today, let's consolidate inner positive forces through the practice of gratitude.

Exercise:

  • Gratitude list: List at least 5 people or things you're grateful for in your entrepreneurial journey. This could include mentors, partners, understanding family members, your first paying customer, or supportive peers in your community. Also include positive events, such as "receiving a thank-you note from a user" or "getting kind advice from an investor."
  • Specific reasons for gratitude: Write why you're grateful for each item. For example: "Grateful to partner XX, who kept encouraging me when I was feeling down, helping me regain my spirits." Specific reasons make the feeling of gratitude more profound.
  • Create a gratitude ritual: Consider establishing a habit of writing down 3 things you're grateful for regularly (weekly or daily, such as before bed each night). You can also create a "gratitude notes" folder to save customer praise, supporter messages, and other positive feedback as a "praise archive" to review anytime for motivation.

Optional task: Choose one or two people from your list and take time to express your gratitude to them (via email or message). Sharing your appreciation not only strengthens your connection but also makes the other person feel valued and inspired to help more people—initiating a positive cycle.

Reflection Question: When entrepreneurial pressure is immense, we often focus on what we haven't accomplished, ignoring what we already have and have completed. Review your gratitude list and think about how much more difficult your path would be without this support and these achievements. Learning to shift focus from "deficiencies" to "wealth" will make your heart more content and powerful.

Day 13: Celebrate Small Wins

Introduction: Entrepreneurship is a marathon, not a sprint. In this process, learning to celebrate milestones—even small victories—can provide sustained motivation. As one entrepreneur said: "Those early customers, the first positive review, even finally reaching a break-even month—these are all huge milestones worth celebrating." Today, we'll strengthen your confidence and long-term mindset by reviewing and celebrating small victories.

Exercise:

  • Victory list: List all positive progress you've made in the past 6 months, regardless of size. For example: "Launched the beta version," "Reached 100 registered users on the website," "Received user feedback suggesting new features," "Consistently wrote blog posts every week without interruption," etc. Try to list 10 items, not missing any progress.
  • Relive the joy: Choose the 3 most memorable "small wins" and record the scenes and your delight in detail in your journal. For example, what did you do the day you signed your first paying customer? Who did you call to share the good news? This revisiting helps bring positive emotions back to mind.
  • Celebration ritual: Think of a small reward method you like to treat yourself for recent efforts. It could be treating yourself to a nice meal or taking half a day off to watch a movie. The key is to recognize your effort and achievements. If possible, share these progress updates with your team or supportive family and friends, celebrating together—positive energy is contagious.

Reflection Question: Reflect on whether you immediately dive into the next task after achieving a goal, rarely stopping to celebrate? If so, what makes you feel that "celebration is a waste of time"? In fact, appropriate celebration doesn't waste time but raises morale, making you more motivated for the next phase. How can you incorporate "celebrating small wins" into your entrepreneurial rhythm going forward? Establish a simple rule, such as having a team dinner after completing a quarterly goal, or announcing and celebrating in the company group chat after releasing an important feature.

Day 14: You Are Not Alone

Introduction: Bootstrapped entrepreneurs often work with small teams or even solo, which can bring feelings of loneliness. But remember: although there are few people around you on the entrepreneurial path, it doesn't mean you're fighting alone. Thousands of entrepreneurs worldwide are experiencing similar challenges and emotional journeys. You are not alone—we all have our own battles, yet we can support each other spiritually.

Psychological Tip: A survey of founders showed that the vast majority of entrepreneurs experience extreme pressure and loneliness during their journey, but many of them found support through communities, mentors, or partners. As Arvid Kahl said when discussing founder mental health: "Know that you're not alone, and there are many ways to deal with these issues." So, when feeling lonely, remember that entrepreneurs worldwide are actually your "invisible companions."

Exercise:

  • Write to an anonymous peer: Write a paragraph to an imaginary entrepreneur in a similar situation, encouraging them to persevere. What would you tell them that you'd also like to hear? For example: "We're all struggling for our dreams, believe that persistence will yield results." This is actually comforting and encouraging yourself as well.
  • Identify support circle: List the names of people you can confide in about the joys and sorrows of entrepreneurship (at least 3). Include family and friends, mentors, former colleagues, and even peers you've met online. Keep this "support network" list as a reminder that there are people you can turn to when you need help.
  • Join online communities: If you haven't joined any entrepreneurial communities yet, use today to find one suitable for you (such as entrepreneurial forums, SaaS industry Slack groups, Weibo or WeChat communities, etc.). Register, browse the discussions, and see if anyone shares feelings similar to yours. Just seeing these shares can make you realize you're not alone. If comfortable, you can introduce yourself or share your recent situation, which might become the starting point for future connections.

Reflection Question: When loneliness strikes, what do you usually do? Do you bury yourself in work to divert attention, or do you choose to confide in someone? Reflect on your pattern of dealing with loneliness in your journal and evaluate its effectiveness. If you're used to keeping things to yourself, is it possible to try more openly seeking emotional support? Write down how you will handle these emotions more healthily next time you feel lonely, such as calling a friend, joining a fitness class to meet new friends, or posting in a community to interact with peers.

Day 15: Expand Your Community

Introduction: The best way to overcome loneliness is to actively build connections. As your entrepreneurial community grows, you'll find not only emotional support but also mutual help in knowledge and resources. The core of solving loneliness lies in expanding your "circle of friends." Fortunately, there are numerous ways for independent founders to connect and exchange experiences today.

Reference Suggestion: Entrepreneurial mentor Mike summarized that for independent founders, to improve feelings of loneliness, "fundamentally, it's about expanding your community." This can be achieved through various means, such as joining peer organizations, finding a partner or coach, and regularly participating in industry events or online discussions. Each new connection adds a layer of support for yourself.

Exercise:

  • Find communities: Spend a few minutes searching online for entrepreneurial communities/forums related to your field or technology. Examples include Indie Hackers, ProductHunt community, entrepreneurship topics on Weibo, or industry WeChat groups. Find at least one active community to join and browse recent topic discussions.
  • Participate in an event: Check if there are upcoming entrepreneurial online events, Twitter Space discussions, podcast livestreams, etc. Register or add a calendar reminder to participate. Even just listening to others' stories can make you feel part of a larger group.
  • Weekly connection: Set a "small goal": contact at least one peer or senior colleague each week. This could be messaging them on LinkedIn/WeChat to ask small questions or meeting nearby entrepreneurs for coffee chats. Treat this as a fixed task on your to-do list, using regular external communication to dilute the feeling of fighting alone.

Reflection Question: Is your social circle currently filled mostly with team members or non-entrepreneurial friends? Lacking "fellow travelers" can make you feel that no one understands your situation. Consider how to naturally meet more peers without adding too much social pressure. For example: attending entrepreneurial salons or sharing your project updates on technical forums. Write down 3 specific actions you can try to expand your social network, making social expansion practical and implementable.

Day 16: Find Mentors and Peers

Introduction: The value of a good mentor or entrepreneurial partner is immeasurable. They not only provide experience and advice but, more importantly, offer emotional support when you're hesitant. Even top entrepreneurs feel that "loneliness and responsibility follow like a shadow," but many have been guided through by mentors and peers. You don't need to and shouldn't work behind closed doors; leveraging the wisdom of predecessors and peer support will make your journey much easier.

Case Inspiration: A serial entrepreneur shared on Reddit: "I've had mentors all along the way, often without realizing at the time that they were mentors. But there are always experienced individuals willing to give back and provide guidance." His advice is to "embrace loneliness courageously, but also find someone without personal interests who can purely help you brainstorm." Such a good teacher and friend is like a lighthouse in the darkness.

Exercise:

  • Mentor list: List 1-2 people you know with more experience than you who might be willing to guide you. These could be former bosses, industry veterans, investors, or senior entrepreneurs in your community. Write down what you admire about each and what topics you could consult them on.
  • Proactive consultation: Choose one today and send a brief, sincere email or message. Include an update on your recent situation, one or two specific questions seeking advice, and express your desire to stay in touch and hear their suggestions. Be polite and humble yet confident. Taking this step might result in unexpected responses.
  • Peer exchange: Consider whether you have entrepreneurial friends at a similar stage (even in different fields). If so, consider scheduling regular (e.g., monthly) exchanges to share progress, difficulties, and brainstorm solutions together. You can also post in entrepreneurial communities to find an "Accountability Partner" (an entrepreneurial companion for mutual supervision and encouragement). Finding a fellow traveler to move forward together can make many challenges less burdensome.

Reflection Question: Why are we sometimes reluctant to actively seek help? Is it worry about bothering others, or fear of appearing inadequate? Analyze your psychological barriers in your journal, then counter them: "Every entrepreneur needs support; seeking advice is not shameful but rather an active pursuit of knowledge." Understanding this point, you'll be more courageous in seeking external help rather than struggling alone behind closed doors.

Day 17: Deliberate Practice

Introduction: Founders need to juggle multiple roles and continuously learn new skills. But simply working hard doesn't necessarily lead to comprehensive improvement; the concept of deliberate practice can help you grow efficiently. Deliberate practice refers to focused, goal-oriented practice of specific skills, repeatedly improving weaknesses, prioritizing quality over quantity. Many top entrepreneurs deliberately practice leadership and sales skills, like athletes, to reach high standards more quickly.

Method Explanation: Psychologist Anders Ericsson's research shows that what makes top talent excel is not the hours of practice but how they practice. They consistently step out of their comfort zones, specifically target weak areas, and continuously improve through feedback. For entrepreneurs, this means not just being busy day after day, but consciously improving your weak areas.

Exercise:

  • Identify one key skill: Consider which ability currently most constrains your entrepreneurial development. Common ones include: "sales negotiation," "technical architecture decisions," "marketing copywriting," or "team management communication." Choose 1 that you most want to improve.
  • Design a practice plan: Create a small exercise for this skill that you can spend 10 minutes on daily. For example, if you want to improve sales negotiation, you might practice elevator pitches in front of a mirror daily or simulate responding to customer rejection scenarios. If improving programming ability, perhaps practice implementing specific functionality, focusing on quality and optimization. Write down your practice plan, including frequency and specific points for improvement.
  • Seek feedback: Deliberate practice requires feedback. Find ways to get objective opinions: ask colleagues to listen to your sales pitch rehearsal and suggest improvements, or have senior engineers review your code. Record the feedback as targets for improvement in your next practice session. This forms a closed loop: practice → feedback → improvement → practice again.

Reflection Question: Looking back at activities you've invested significant time in, have they all led to notable improvements? If not, the reason might be a lack of targeted practice. Moving forward, how do you plan to apply the "deliberate practice" concept to your entrepreneurial learning? Write down 2-3 specific measures in your journal, such as "get mentor feedback on BP (business plan) presentation skills weekly" or "collect user experience feedback and make improvements after each product iteration." Persist with this conscious improvement, and your abilities will make qualitative leaps.

Day 18: Take Care to Avoid Burnout

Introduction: In the early stages of a startup, work often feels overwhelming, and many founders neglect rest and health. However, if you don't take care of your mental and physical well-being, you'll eventually be forced to stop. Excessive strain leads to burnout, which harms not only your body but also your business. Companies like Basecamp promote a "Calm Company" culture, believing that adequate rest and maintaining a rational pace actually allows you to go further. Today, we focus on your self-care strategy.

Reminder of Facts: According to surveys, more than half of entrepreneurs experienced serious mental burnout in the past year. Overwork can lead to decision-making errors, creative exhaustion, and even fear that everything you've painstakingly built will collapse. Therefore, taking care of yourself is not laziness but an essential part of entrepreneurship. As someone described: "If you don't actively manage your mental health, it will eventually take over in ways you can't handle."

Exercise:

  • Set rest boundaries: Establish a daily shutdown time. For example, stop handling emails and work messages after 11 pm at the latest to give your brain time to relax. Write it in your schedule and try to adhere to it.
  • This week's self-care plan: Schedule one relaxing activity you enjoy in the next few days, such as exercise, walking, listening to music, or dining with friends. Put it in your calendar like an important meeting and don't cancel unless absolutely necessary. You need and deserve to enjoy moments unrelated to work.
  • Check life essentials: List your sleep, diet, and exercise status. Do you often stay up late? Have irregular meals? How long since you've exercised? Choose one area most in need of improvement, such as ensuring at least 6-7 hours of sleep each night or exercising twice a week. Start practicing tonight or tomorrow, and record how you feel in your journal.

Reflection Question: How do your work efficiency and creativity differ when you take care of yourself? Recall an experience where you worked with full energy versus a state of tired coping. Write down your observations. Remind yourself: Rest is not laziness but preparation for a longer journey. In the future, when faced with a heavy workload, learn to leave white space and manage priorities—do essential tasks first, postpone secondary ones, or simply abandon them. Maintaining physical and mental health is itself being responsible to the company.

Day 19: Patience and Perseverance

Introduction: Bootstrapped entrepreneurship often means gradual cultivation and steady progress. This requires tremendous patience. In a restless entrepreneurial environment, persistence becomes a powerful competitive advantage. Transistor.fm co-founder Justin Jackson exemplifies this: he started accumulating experience in the SaaS industry at age 28, and after 10 years of podcasting, writing, experimenting, and exploring, he finally launched a successful SaaS product with his partner at age 40. His story proves that steady progress and waiting for the right timing are worthwhile.

Case Sharing: Justin admits that for a full ten years, he was preparing for entrepreneurial success: building an audience, practicing various digital products, all waiting for the right idea. Transistor.fm was online for over a year before they dared to commit full-time, and it took several more years for annual revenue to reach the millions. This might seem "slow" in the venture capital world, which pursues lightning expansion, but precisely because they were steady and gradual, they built a "small but robust, profitable company" and take pride in it. Patience eventually exchanged for success that stands the test of time.

Exercise:

  • Write down your long-term goals: Review the vision outlined in Day 2, breaking it down into longer timeframes, such as 3-year and 5-year goals. Then remind yourself how long these truly important goals will take to achieve. Write them on paper and stick them on the wall, telling yourself "great endeavors require time to mature."
  • Record progress feelings: During the entrepreneurial process, growth is often imperceptible. Look through your work logs or product state from a year ago and compare what progress you've made. Write a paragraph recording these changes, allowing yourself to see "wow, I've actually come this far." When you realize progress is happening silently, you'll have more patience.
  • Dealing with anxiety: Patience doesn't mean absence of anxiety. When you're eager for quick results, practice deep breathing and repeat to yourself: "Forcing growth only backfires; steady progress is most powerful." You can write this sentence on a sticky note. Whenever you feel "progress is too slow" and become restless, look at this sentence to calm yourself down.

Reflection Question: Are you currently setting unrealistic timelines for yourself? For example, expecting products to go viral in two months or reach million-dollar revenue within a year... Do you become discouraged when these expectations don't materialize on schedule? Try adjusting these time expectations to set more realistic milestones (such as 10% monthly user growth rather than 10x all at once). Write down new expectations in your journal and explain why this pace is more reasonable and sustainable. Learn to make "time" your friend, not your enemy.

Day 20: Stay True to Mission Under Pressure

Introduction: Throughout the entrepreneurial process, external opportunities and pressures constantly emerge: investor conditions, competitor movements, the allure of trendy technologies... How to remain faithful to your mission and principles amid these distractions is a huge test for founders. Companies that maintain their independent principles often develop more steadily. For example, Basecamp repeatedly refused external financing during its growth to develop the business according to its own philosophy. Precisely because they weren't influenced by investors, they were able to focus on creating simple, efficient products for users for twenty years.

Reminder of Original Intent: Ask yourself: If one day you face a proposal that contradicts your mission or values (even with short-term benefits), what would you do? Jason Fried once said that one of the bravest acts of a founder is daring to say "no" to short-term temptations to avoid planting long-term hidden dangers. This courage stems from firm commitment to your original purpose. Always remember why you started, and you can resist the risk of deviating from course.

Exercise:

  • List your red lines: Write down what "red lines" you absolutely won't cross in company operations. Examples might include "not deceiving users," "not sacrificing product quality for quick cash," "not ceding control that could cause mission deviation," etc. Clearly defining these red lines can help you quickly judge when temptations arise.
  • Scenario rehearsal: Imagine a potential temptation scenario: for example, a major client requesting you to customize a feature that contradicts your product philosophy but would pay well; or an investor willing to invest significantly but requiring a change in company direction. Write down this scenario, then write the results of both "accepting" and "rejecting" on paper. Carefully compare the long-term impacts. This exercise can train your principles-adherence muscles in advance.
  • Self-examination of original intent: Reread the mission statement you wrote on Day 1. Assess whether your current daily decisions and actions align with your mission. Write down a recent major decision as an example and how it reflects or deviates from your original purpose. If you find deviation, consider how to correct it and return the business to a track aligned with your mission.

Reflection Question: Have external voices (media, peer success stories, popular trends) ever made you doubt your path? For example, seeing others rapidly expand through burning money on marketing, would you waver and want to try it too? Honestly acknowledge these moments in your journal, then question each one: Is that truly the right path for my company and my mission? Use a written dialogue format, with "original intent" in the left column and "temptation" in the right, each stating their reasons. Through this inner debate, strengthen your belief in your mission and reduce the possibility of blindly following trends.

Day 21: Embrace Uncertainty and Move Forward

Introduction: Entrepreneurship involves making decisions without standard answers daily: Whether to change market strategy? Whether to develop a certain feature? Often we can only make decisions with incomplete information. Learning to coexist with uncertainty and move forward through ambiguity is a required course for founders. You need to believe that even if a decision later proves wrong, it's just a normal step, not your incompetence. As experienced founders say: "Everyone makes decisions with incomplete information; making mistakes is normal because you're creating something unprecedented."

Cognitive Reality: Indecisiveness may be an extension of impostor syndrome, always wanting to wait for more complete information. But the reality is that the entrepreneurial environment changes rapidly, and it's impossible to wait until you're 100% certain before acting. Rather than hesitating, it's better to adjust as you go. Recall the birth of every innovation—which one started with complete confidence?

Exercise:

  • Write down current ambiguous decisions: List 1-2 things you're hesitant to decide on (such as whether to enter a new market, whether to change your tech stack, etc.).
  • Set decision deadlines: Give each item a final decision date (preferably within a week). Tell yourself that by then, you'll make a choice based on what you know, regardless of whether the information is complete. Mark this date on your calendar.
  • Worst-case analysis: For each decision, briefly write down what would happen if you chose wrong. For example, "If I choose the wrong market, I'll waste 3 months of time and part of the budget." Then write a response plan: "Cut losses promptly and return to the main market." Seeing that you have remedial measures even if you make mistakes will make your mindset more calm.
  • Current best choice: Based on existing information and intuition, lean toward one option and write down the reasons supporting this option (they don't need to be perfect, just reasonable). When the deadline arrives, if no major new information contradicts these reasons, execute this plan.

Reflection Question: Looking back, have there been situations where you missed opportunities due to hesitation? Or bold decisions that, despite some regrets, yielded experience? Compare the growth brought by both and record it in your journal, reminding yourself that action brings results and learning, while hesitation only brings missed opportunities. In the future, when you find yourself over-analyzing again, review these insights to give yourself the courage to make decisions.

Day 22: Define Success on Your Own Terms

Introduction: Entrepreneurial success doesn't have to look one way. Especially as a bootstrapped entrepreneur, you have the right to define success on your own terms, rather than being constrained by external standards. For example, some aim for revenue in the hundreds of millions and IPOs, while others take pride in building a "small but beautiful" company with stable profits. The founders of Transistor.fm pursue the latter—they focus on being "small, stable, peaceful, and profitable" and have achieved impressive results. Today, consider what achievement truly means to you.

Value Clarification: What does success mean to you? Financial freedom? Industry influence? Or a flexible lifestyle? Clarifying this helps you avoid blindly pursuing others' definition of success. For instance, some founders choose not to raise capital or expand aggressively, focusing instead on serving a specific user group well, achieving high alignment between personal vision and business—isn't that an remarkable form of success?

Exercise:

  • Depict your success image: Describe your ideal successful state in a few sentences. Be as specific and personalized as possible, without using official metrics. If you tell someone five years from now, "My entrepreneurship is successful," what achievements might that be based on? For example: "I own a SaaS with annual revenue of a million, a team of under 10 people but extremely high customer loyalty, while I have ample time to be with my family." Write down your personal portrait of success.
  • Compare with external standards: List "success standards" you often hear (such as annual growth rate, user numbers, funding rounds, etc.), then ask yourself for each: Is this important to me? To what degree? Write down your thoughts in your journal. If there are standards you don't identify with, boldly acknowledge they're not your pursuit.
  • Set personalized goals: Based on your success definition, set 3 medium to long-term goals, preferably measurable. For example, "Achieve stable monthly profit of XX dollars within two years" or "Reach 30% market share in a niche market and gain industry reputation." These goals should align with your values and ideal life, rather than catering to external expectations.

Reflection Question: Imagine what a day in your life would look like after achieving the success you've defined. Does it contain the elements you hope for? If there are discrepancies, it suggests your success definition might need adjustment. Continue refining this definition; it will guide you toward your own entrepreneurial path. After all, entrepreneurship is part of your life, and success should be defined by you.

Day 23: Revisit Your Mission and Reflect

Introduction: After traveling so far on this mental journey, it's time to return to the starting point and revisit our mission and original intent. The initial heart never becomes outdated, but our understanding and interpretation may deepen with experience. By regularly reviewing your mission, you can see your growth and ensure you remain connected to that initial "entrepreneurial fire." As someone said: "When you see how high you've climbed, it becomes easier to let go of problems that once troubled you." Today, let's examine your transformation.

Exercise:

  • Compare initial heart notes: Find the mission statement and reasons written on Day 1, and the core values list from Day 3. Spend a few minutes reading them carefully, experiencing the mindset when you wrote these words.
  • Write new insights: Answer in your journal: After experiencing these days of reflection and practice, do you have new understandings of your mission and values? For instance, have you discovered that your mission is actually more profound than you thought, or that a certain value has become more important? Write a paragraph of new insights describing your upgraded understanding.
  • Adjust and consolidate: If you feel your mission or vision needs fine-tuning, you can boldly revise your mission statement or vision description to better align with your current understanding. However, ensure that adjustments truly stem from deepened internal understanding rather than momentary emotions. Whether or not you make adjustments, solemnly rewrite your mission statement again, feeling that your commitment to it remains firm.

Reflection Question: What has been your biggest mindset change over the past 22 days? Is this reflected in your attitude toward your mission? For example, from initial doubt and wavering to now being more certain and steady. Write down these changes, even subtle ones. Recognizing your growth is a powerful motivation to continue moving forward. Additionally, consider how often you plan to revisit your mission in the future (recommended quarterly or monthly). Mark this cycle in your calendar for regular Day 1-style original intent checks to keep your direction on track.

Day 24: Plan for Ongoing Growth

Introduction: Completing this course doesn't mean the end of mindset building but rather a new starting point. Continuous self-improvement and psychological construction should be integrated into your daily rhythm. Today, you'll create a practical plan for the future to ensure that the good habits and new insights gained over these 30 days continue and become part of your entrepreneurial journey.

Exercise:

  • Habits to consolidate: List the 3 exercises or habits from the past course that you found most beneficial. Examples might include daily mindfulness meditation, weekly gratitude recording, self-affirmation sentences, etc. Then set a future execution frequency (such as daily/weekly) and time point (such as every morning upon waking, every Friday afternoon) for each habit. Write these arrangements into your daily calendar or to-do application, forming a fixed schedule.
  • New learning goals: Beyond mindset growth, are there other knowledge and skills you want to continue learning? Write down 1-2 books you plan to read (entrepreneurial mindset or industry classics), or podcast/course names you intend to listen to, and schedule a start date. For example: "Starting next Monday, read 'Rework' 20 minutes every morning." Continuously absorb external wisdom to avoid falling into self-limitation.
  • Regular self-review: Decide on a frequency (recommended monthly or quarterly) to schedule a "CEO Day" for yourself—set aside an hour or two, not dealing with daily affairs, focusing on reviewing your state and company direction. During this time, you can redo some exercises from the course (such as revisiting your vision, sorting out mindset issues) and adjust strategies as needed. Mark your next "CEO Day" on your calendar!

Reflection Question: Looking ahead six months, in which aspects do you hope your founder mindset will reach the next level? More confident? More peaceful? More leadership? Write down these expectations, then consider what specific habits need to be cultivated or what events need to be experienced to achieve these states. This process will help clarify your direction of effort. Remember: growth is a cyclical process; these 30 days are just one cycle, with more wonderful mental journeys awaiting you in the future.

Day 25: Letter to Your Future Self

Introduction: Imagine yourself several years from now, having realized your vision, overcome countless difficulties, and standing on the shore of success, looking back at today's struggle—what would you say to your current self? Writing a letter to your future self is a powerful ritual. It can bridge the distance between you and your ideal state and strengthen your determination to move in that direction. Let today's purpose be for the future successful you to inspire the current struggling you.

Exercise:

  • Set a time travel point: Choose a future time you believe will sufficiently demonstrate results, such as 1 year, 3 years, or 5 years later. Pretend it's that time now, and you've achieved or are approaching your entrepreneurial vision.
  • Write the letter: As your future self, write a letter to your current self (you can use the second person "you"). In the letter, first describe the achievements and life state attained in the future, letting your current self see the picture of success. For example: "You now have a team of __ employees, your company's products have helped __ users, achieving __ revenue..." Next, thank your current self for the efforts and persistence, affirming the journey's worth. Finally, give your current self some encouragement and advice, such as "Please continue to maintain your..., don't be discouraged because of..." Write freely whatever you wish to hear.
  • Read and save: After writing, read the letter aloud, imagining your future self actually speaking to you. Feel the confidence and warmth transmitted. This letter can be folded and stored in a special place, or saved in a computer folder with a future reminder (for example, using email delay-send functionality to send it to yourself on the chosen date). This way, when that time actually arrives, you can read it, compare the ideal with reality, and draw conclusions.

Reflection Question: During the process of writing this letter, did you feel a surge of motivation or mixed emotions? Record your feelings and thoughts. If you encountered difficulties imagining certain aspects of the future, it might indicate that some details of your vision aren't clear enough or that your confidence is insufficient. This is also a hint: perhaps you need to spend time further planning your future blueprint or finding ways to strengthen your confidence. Write these discoveries in your journal as well, providing guidance for subsequent actions.

Day 26: Review and Self-Assessment

Introduction: Without realizing it, you've persisted through 25 days of mental training! Before entering the final days, let's stop and take a good review. This step is important—organizing what you've gained and assessing changes can consolidate your growth and identify areas still needing improvement. Think about the difference between yourself when you started this course and now. Have your mindset muscles become stronger? Today, you'll find answers through systematic review.

Exercise:

  • Review journal notes: Take time to read through the journal fragments and exercise results you've written over these 25 days. Underline sentences or content that impressed you most, and add annotations if you wish. Look for patterns: which themes appear repeatedly? For instance, "fear of failure" or "desire for recognition" mentioned multiple times. These are the core issues in your mindset.
  • Self-scoring: List several main aspects focused on in this course: sense of mission, vision clarity, self-confidence, stress resistance, long-term mindset, coping with loneliness, etc. Based on your subjective feeling, score yourself on each from 1 to 10 (1 being very dissatisfied, 10 being very satisfied). Then compare which aspects have improved significantly and which remain low and need strengthening. Write down scores and analyses in your journal.
  • Summarize three major gains: Summarize the three major gains or changes you believe this course has brought you. For example: "I learned to use gratitude to counter negative emotions," "I now take time to meditate daily, significantly reducing anxiety," "I've clarified the company's long-term vision and declined a collaboration that didn't match our mission." Write them down and thank yourself for the persistence that made these gains possible.

Reflection Question: For those aspects that scored lower in your assessment (perhaps loneliness still exists, or self-discipline needs strengthening), how do you plan to continue improving? List at least one targeted action or exercise you'll continue after the course ends. For example, "Join a weekly meeting entrepreneurial support group to further alleviate loneliness." Recognizing shortcomings and formulating improvement plans is itself part of progress. Write down your thoughts to prepare for the days ahead.

Day 27: Draft Your Founder Manifesto

Introduction: After systematic thinking and training, you now have a clear understanding of your mission, values, vision, and mindset principles. It's time to condense these into a "founder manifesto" as a guiding document for the future. This manifesto is not only meaningful to you; if team members join in the future, or when introducing your entrepreneurial philosophy to the outside world, it can serve as a clear expression.

Exercise:

  • List key points: Review the results of previous exercises and extract your most important conceptual points. For example: "Our mission is...", "My core values include...", "I commit to long-term thinking, not swayed by short-term temptations", "Customer success is the reason for our existence"... List these as bullet points first.
  • Organize language: Integrate these points into a manifesto-style text, not too long, 100-200 words is appropriate. You can use first-person or third-person, whichever tone you're comfortable with. Make sure the sentences are concise yet powerful. For example, you could start: "As an entrepreneur, I believe... I will... I persist in... I refuse to... I commit to..." Write out your beliefs and commitments point by point, eventually forming a coherent paragraph.
  • Refine and perfect: Repeatedly read this manifesto, reading aloud is even better. Check if the tone matches your true heart and whether there are empty clichés that need improvement. You can also ask close peers or friends to review it and provide feedback. Continue revising until reading it ignites passion and generates a sense of identification within you.

Reflection Question: When this manifesto is complete, imagine what strength you would gain from reading it again in future difficult times. Write down this scenario in your journal. You can also consider how to integrate the manifesto into your company culture in daily life: perhaps as the opening words of an employee handbook, or posted on office walls (if you have a physical office). Letting your team understand this manifesto can extend personal beliefs into organizational beliefs, forming stronger cohesion.

Day 28: Commit to Lifelong Learning

Introduction: Entrepreneurship is a dynamic process, and continuous learning and adjustment are survival strategies. From psychological construction to business skills, a lifelong learning mindset will keep you competitive and growing amid changes. After this course ends, you need to actively seek new sources of knowledge and inspiration to keep your thinking evolving. Today, let's draft your "learning list" and further education plan to ensure you don't become set in your ways.

Exercise:

  • Create a reading/learning list: List 3 books you plan to read or quality content you plan to subscribe to (blogs, podcasts, etc.) in the next six months. These can cover entrepreneurial mindset, industry knowledge, marketing, interpersonal communication, and other aspects. Examples include: "Rework" (by Jason Fried), "The Hard Thing About Hard Things," certain SaaS entrepreneurship podcasts, etc. Write down the list and schedule a start date for the first book.
  • Join learning communities: The motivation to learn sometimes comes from fellow travelers. Consider joining a book club or online course group to progress with others. Write down learning communities you're interested in (such as LinkedIn entrepreneur book clubs, app circles, etc.), and try to contact and join them, obtaining relevant information.
  • Regularly reflect on new knowledge: Plan a fixed frequency (such as once every two weeks) and mark "Learning Reflection Day" on your calendar. On this day, spend a half-hour organizing recently learned new concepts and ideas, and how to apply them to your entrepreneurial practice. Write down 1-2 action items to truly transform knowledge into action. Schedule reflection days for the next month today.

Reflection Question: In the learning process, be wary of blindly following popular theories or authorities, as there's no universal formula for entrepreneurship. How can you both absorb new knowledge and maintain independent thinking? Write down your principles in your journal, such as: "Borrow others' experiences but combine with your own practical judgment," "Test new strategies in small areas before validation." Clarifying these principles can prevent you from losing direction while learning. Remember, the purpose of learning is to better achieve your unique mission, not to become someone else.

Day 29: Plan Your Next 30 Days

Introduction: We're about to complete the 30-day course, but your journey continues. To avoid returning to old habits after the course ends, create a specific action plan for the next 30 days now to solidify these new habits and mindset. Just as entrepreneurship needs a business plan, your personal growth needs a mindset maintenance plan. View the coming month as an extension of the course, continuing to implement the methods we've learned.

Exercise:

  • Set next month's goals: Think about a specific improvement you hope to achieve in entrepreneurial psychology or company development in the coming month. Write down at least 1 goal (for example: "By the end of next month, contact 5 potential mentors and have at least 1 in-depth exchange" or "Stick to a 15-minute break every 2 working hours to improve energy management"). Ensure goals are clear, feasible, and have measurement standards.
  • Create weekly plans: Divide the month into four weeks, arranging a few small steps each week to achieve the above goal. For instance, Week 1: Complete mentor list and initial contact; Week 2: Arrange talks and prepare; Week 3: Implement improvement measures suggested by mentors; Week 4: Summarize exchange gains. List the main tasks for each week and mark them in your calendar or task management tool.
  • Set up monitoring mechanisms: Consider finding an "accountability partner" (could be your co-founder, spouse, friend) or publicly announcing your plan on social media to get supervision and motivation. Write in your journal who you will report progress to and how frequently (such as once a week). If it's inconvenient to disclose to others, you can also use applications or a schedule book to record completion status weekly and score yourself, rewarding yourself for following the plan.

Reflection Question: Does this series of plans make you feel pressure? If so, remember to be reasonable; you don't need to set unrealistic demands on yourself. The meaning of the course is to help you find balance and drive, not add burden. Write down your feelings in your journal and adjust the above plan accordingly (better to jog slowly in small steps and persist than to take big steps and give up halfway). The next 30 days are just a segment in your entrepreneurial long run; the most important thing is finding a suitable rhythm. Maintain patience and flexibility, adjusting the plan as circumstances change—this itself is a quality entrepreneurs should have.

Day 30: Inspiring Finale and Commitment

Introduction: Congratulations, you've completed the 30-day course! 🎉 Now, your psychological toolkit is filled with mission, vision, beliefs, techniques, and support networks. On the final day, what we need to do is consolidate all of this and inscribe a firm belief in success in your heart. There will definitely be challenges ahead, but remember that you now have the mindset foundation to face them. Believe in yourself, stay true to your original intent, and your entrepreneurial journey will be unstoppable.

Quote to Remember: Before concluding, please remember this passage: "It's okay, you can't get everything right. You're already doing many beneficial things. Your existence makes customers' lives better—be sure to acknowledge this." When Basecamp's entrepreneurial story is reviewed, people discover that even though they couldn't satisfy everyone and their product wasn't perfect, they still changed countless customers' work methods. The same applies to you—you don't need to demand perfection; as long as you continuously create value, you're already on the path to success.

Final Exercise - Success Pledge: Please take a few minutes, close your eyes, and recall every key moment and realization from these 30 days. Then open your eyes and write down your success pledge—a commitment to your future self, synthesizing your mission, beliefs, and determination. For example:

"I pledge that no matter how arduous the journey, I will never abandon my entrepreneurial original intent. I believe in my vision and will approach it by progressing a little each day. Setbacks and failures are merely stepping stones; I will learn from them rather than be defeated by them. I will take good care of my physical and mental well-being, advancing balanced and leading my company toward long-term healthy development. I firmly believe I'm doing something meaningful that will improve customers' lives and ultimately achieve my success."

After writing, read your pledge aloud. Feel the power transmitted through every word—that is your inner strength.

Course Summary: Congratulations! 🎊 After 30 days of effort, you've forged powerful entrepreneurial mindset armor for yourself. From clarifying mission and vision, to positive self-talk, from embracing loneliness and seeking support, to long-term thinking and persistence, your inner self is now more resilient, more certain, and more peaceful than before. In the future, preserve your journal and exercise results; they are valuable assets. Whenever you encounter a low point, you can review the content of this course to regain confidence.

Please believe: What truly determines an entrepreneur's success is not just the business model and funding, but also that inextinguishable fire within. And you have successfully made that flame burn brighter. Carry this passion and belief forward on your journey to achieve your remarkable mission! May you remain steadfast and shine brightly on your SaaS entrepreneurial path! 🚀

Zeng Ming's Strategic Management Philosophy

· 29 min read

Chapter 1: Strategic Concepts and Decision-Making Contributions During Alibaba Period

From 2006 to 2017, Professor Zeng Ming served as Alibaba Group's Chief Strategy Officer ("Chief of Staff"), deeply involved in the formulation and execution of Alibaba's overall strategy. As Jack Ma's strategic advisor, he helped create and develop important business segments including Taobao, Alipay, Alibaba Cloud, and Cainiao Network. During his time at Alibaba, Zeng Ming promoted a series of forward-looking strategic concepts, the most prominent being the platform ecosystem strategy and decentralized organizational transformation.

1. Platform Ecosystem Strategy: Zeng Ming believed that Alibaba's core competitiveness was not in a single business, but in building future commercial infrastructure—various types of platforms or ecosystems. He pointed out that the traditional emphasis on "core capabilities" had become outdated, and future enterprises should develop organically like networks, becoming more biological rather than mechanical. Under his advocacy, Alibaba gradually expanded from an early e-commerce platform to a complex ecosystem encompassing e-commerce, payments, logistics, cloud computing, and more, positioning itself as a builder of social business ecosystems. The Alibaba Group underwent a major structural adjustment from late 2012 to 2013: breaking down the e-commerce business into 25 small business units (BUs), reorganizing financial businesses into multiple divisions, and Jack Ma stepping down as CEO. This transformation was based on Zeng Ming's judgment—"if Alibaba wants to promote the development of an ecosystem externally, the company must also achieve ecologicalization internally". Therefore, Alibaba internally broke the traditional bureaucracy, distributing power and business into smaller, more flexible units, forming an internal ecosystem to adapt to the needs of the platform ecosystem strategy.

2. Decentralized Organizational Transformation: Zeng Ming advocated for distributed collaboration and small team operations as an organizational model to adapt to the rapidly changing environment of the internet era. He participated in formulating Alibaba's "four transformations" policy: marketization, platformization, ecologicalization (species diversity), and data-driven approach. For example, on the Taobao platform, external merchants and service providers were introduced to jointly create diversified goods and services, enabling "small but beautiful" and category-diverse sellers to flourish, achieving more personalized matching between buyers and sellers. At the organizational level, Alibaba abandoned the traditional unified management center and encouraged internal innovation through frontline empowerment and horse-racing mechanisms. As Jack Ma said: "Traditional management is no longer suitable for Alibaba; we need to build an ecosystem that integrates internal and external resources." After the 2013 reorganization, each business unit had greater autonomy, forming a competitive and cooperative ecosystem among them. This decentralized organization laid the foundation for Alibaba to maintain agility in the rapidly changing internet competition. When summarizing Alibaba's experience, Zeng Ming stated that future organizations are more like networks, needing to break bureaucracy and move toward network-based organizational forms. Alibaba provided momentum for the continuous evolution of the platform ecosystem through internal entrepreneurship, partnership systems, and other methods that made the organization flatter and self-driven.

Chapter 2: Zeng Ming's Core Theoretical Concepts

Based on practical experience, Zeng Ming developed a series of strategic management theories, including "Momentum Theory," "C2B Strategy," "New Business Civilization," "De-KPI," "De-Management Center," "Self-Evolving Organization," and "Structural Empowerment." These concepts form the core of Zeng Ming's strategic thinking system. The background, core views, and application cases of each are explained below.

2.1 Momentum Theory

Background: The rise of the internet and mobile internet has created a business environment full of high uncertainty and disruptiveness. Facing these changes, entrepreneurs need to grasp the major trends of the times to succeed. Through long-term research and practical experience, Zeng Ming realized the importance of "momentum" in strategy.

Core Views: "Momentum Theory" emphasizes following and utilizing the momentum contained in era trends to formulate strategy. Zeng Ming advocates that entrepreneurs should have a "ten-year vision," maintaining keen insight into future trends while "working for one year" tactically to find breakthrough points. "The times make heroes," and respecting and grasping major trends is a prerequisite for success. He further points out that leaders should not only follow trends but also dare to create trends. Only by skillfully utilizing momentum (the energy accumulated by trends) can enterprises become leaders of their time. The first principle of strategy is to develop with major trends in a highly uncertain environment to gain momentum. In a word, "without utilizing momentum, it's impossible to become a leader of the era."

Application Cases: Apple, after Steve Jobs' return, captured the major trends of digital music and smartphones, redefining the industry landscape through iPod and iPhone, thus achieving a takeoff. In contrast, PC giant Dell failed to see the major trend of mobile internet, missed momentum, and declined. Alibaba's own development was a result of following the macro trends such as the rise of China's consumer internet and the popularization of mobile payments. Zeng Ming often cites these examples to remind entrepreneurs: during key transformation periods, it's essential to assess major trends with a long-term perspective, and going with the flow can achieve twice the result with half the effort.

2.2 C2B Strategy

Background: In the traditional industrial era, business was dominated by the B2C model (Business to Consumer, where enterprises mass-produce and then sell to consumers). However, with the development of internet and data technology, consumer roles have strengthened, and the market has begun to shift from "seller-driven" to "buyer-driven." In 2012, when discussing with Jack Ma, Zeng Ming proactively proposed the "C2B" strategic concept, believing it to be the most important business paradigm in the digital age.

Core Views: "C2B Strategy," or Customer to Business, emphasizes that consumer demand drives enterprise production and value chain operations, which is a disruption of the traditional B2C model. Zeng Ming points out that C2B means that enterprises must design business processes around customers' personalized needs, achieving customized services on a large scale. He calls C2B the "most basic model of the new business era," and only when C2B emerges on a large scale across industries can the entire business chain be completely restructured by the internet and data. The essence of C2B is a fundamental change in business logic: from the enterprise-led supply chain of the past to a network-collaborative demand response chain. In the traditional model, enterprises first mass-produce standardized products, then stimulate demand through advertising and distribute products through channels; while in the C2B model, enterprises first interact with consumers to explore potential demands through data, then quickly organize resources to meet these demands, achieving on-demand production and services.

Application Cases: The development of the Taobao platform embodies the C2B concept: a large number of sellers adjust their product supply based on consumer search, browsing, and other data, achieving consumer data-driven supply. The Taobao customization, Juhuasuan, and other businesses promoted by Alibaba around 2010 were all explorations of C2B. For example, in the clothing industry, some merchants obtain fashion trends and consumer preferences through Taobao and Tmall, then conduct small-batch flexible production, truly achieving "production based on sales." Zeng Ming predicted that 2018-2023 would be a key period for the breakthrough of the C2B model, with large-scale personalized customization appearing in more industries. He even further proposed derivative models such as "S2B," exploring innovative paths where platforms (Supply/Support) empower numerous small business merchants to better serve the customer end. In summary, the C2B strategy reflects Zeng Ming's judgment on future business models: customer-driven will replace manufacturer-driven, and data will link customized needs with social supply chains.

2.3 New Business Civilization

Background: "New Business Civilization" is a macro concept proposed by Zeng Ming for business transformation in the information age. As the internet deeply penetrates the economy and society, new technologies and values are reshaping business rules, which he calls the emerging "new business civilization." As early as 2009, Zeng Ming gave a speech titled "The Dawn of New Business Civilization," believing that the mass production line and standardization model of the industrial age would give way to new networked and intelligent models.

Core Views: Zeng Ming believes that the DNA of new business civilization consists of two double helices: network collaboration and data intelligence. These two organically integrate to give birth to entirely new business species in the digital era. Network collaboration refers to breaking down complex business activities and having them collaboratively completed by numerous participants through internet platforms, making the process more efficient. Data intelligence refers to the use of big data and AI to continuously iterate and optimize decisions, more accurately perceiving and meeting user needs. Under the new business civilization, business operations are more biological—enterprises coevolve with ecosystems, far more flexible than mechanical hierarchical organizations. He emphasizes that "precision" is the essential difference between new business and old business. The industrial age succeeded through scale, while the new business era pursues precise fulfillment of individual needs: first exploring potential needs through interaction, matching supply in real-time, and providing customized services based on scenarios. Zeng Ming calls this upgrade the transition of business from "extensive scale" to "refinement and accuracy."

Application Cases: Google's search advertising analyzes user intent to achieve precise ad delivery by scenario and real-time bidding fees, which is the embodiment of "refinement" in the new business civilization; Taobao's advertising system can track the entire chain from advertising investment to sales conversion, making every penny's effect transparent, which is the embodiment of "accuracy." Additionally, ride-sharing platforms like Uber use data intelligence to achieve real-time matching and dynamic pricing, but Zeng Ming analyzes that their dilemma lies in the lack of true network collaboration effects—scale effects alone are insufficient to form monopoly barriers. In contrast, Taobao, because it built payment, credit evaluation, and other network collaboration systems early on, although developing slowly, laid the foundation for ecosystem network effects, and once the network matured, it achieved explosive growth. These examples illustrate that the new business civilization places more emphasis on collaboration effects and data-driven competitiveness, rather than traditional resources and scale. Zeng Ming summarizes: "Network collaboration + Data intelligence = Intelligent business", a simple formula that encapsulates the secret to Alibaba's success and reveals all the keys to future business.

2.4 "De-KPI" Concept

Background: In traditional management, KPIs (Key Performance Indicators) are widely used for assessment and motivation. However, in rapidly changing and innovation-driven environments, overly rigid KPI assessments can lead to short-sighted organizational behavior and constrain innovation. While promoting empowerment-type organizations, Zeng Ming proposed the concept of "De-KPI" (breaking free from KPI constraints), believing this to be a hurdle that organizational transformation must overcome.

Core Views: "De-KPI" does not mean completely abandoning indicators, but rather breaking free from the inertial constraints of traditional KPI management and establishing a real-time, dynamic, multi-dimensional indicator system. Zeng Ming points out that if a company promotes empowerment and innovation while still using old-style KPIs to assess and reward employees, employees will ultimately be led by these short-term indicators, making it difficult for the organization to truly transform. Overly simple KPIs distort strategy: many enterprises simplify strategies into one or two numerical targets (such as annual revenue, profit) during execution, which cannot reflect the true requirements of the strategy and instead cause management to sacrifice long-term development to achieve indicators. He stated directly: "Breaking free from KPI inertia is a very difficult but necessary hurdle for organizational innovation." Therefore, new-type organizations need to shift from single KPI orientation to online dynamic indicator matrices. Through digital tools, managers can monitor business health and progress in real-time, evaluating team contributions with multi-dimensional indicators, rather than a few static numbers at the end of the year.

Application Cases: At Alibaba, in the early days to encourage Taobao's rapid market expansion, Jack Ma boldly set the "double million KPI" (enabling 100,000 sellers to achieve annual incomes over 10,000 yuan and bringing 100 million consumers to online shopping within a year), a visionary indicator that at once shifted the team's focus from just staring at GMV (Gross Merchandise Volume). But as business complexity increased, Alibaba gradually de-emphasized hard KPI indicators for various sub-businesses, instead adopting more horse-racing mechanisms, process indicators, and user feedback for evaluation. Zeng Ming also advocated using data dashboards to provide real-time feedback on business status, allowing teams to self-correct without superior orders. This change effectively avoided behavior just for the sake of KPIs, making the organization more focused on creating user value and long-term strategic goals.

2.5 "De-Management Center" and Self-Evolving Organization

Background: "De-Management Center" is an innovative idea proposed by Zeng Ming for organizational structure. Traditional enterprises rely on top-down hierarchical decision-making and centralized management, but in an era of high uncertainty, this model responds slowly and suppresses frontline creativity. To this end, Zeng Ming advocates weakening central control and shifting toward an empowering, self-evolving organizational model that allows the organization to evolve in a self-driven manner.

Core Views: "De-Management Center" requires reducing dependence on a single authority and allowing decisions and innovations to emerge from within the organization. Zeng Ming points out that many leading enterprises today are exploring "operation without CEO commands"—even without boss-level instructions, the organization can operate efficiently in coordination. To achieve this, enterprises need new mechanisms to answer three questions: Without central control, how does the organization ensure healthy operation? How does it maintain the right direction? How does everyone truly collaborate? His answer is: use culture and vision to build consensus, use data and platforms to provide transparent feedback, and use distributed power to stimulate initiative. The focus of management will shift from "control" to "motivation" and "empowerment." As he says, the core of the industrial age was bureaucratic management, while the network age must break bureaucracy and move toward network-type organizations. In such organizations, central managers no longer direct everything in detail, but rather enable frontline employees to make decisions and collaborate through mechanism design. This self-organization can continuously self-evolve, constantly producing high-quality strategic decisions and innovations. "Self-evolving organization" refers to such an organization that dynamically adjusts strategy and continuously emerges innovations under external environment feedback. Zeng Ming emphasizes that in the midst of dramatic changes, being right once is far from enough; organizations must cultivate the ability to innovate continuously—letting strategy and innovation grow "bottom-up" within the organization.

Application Cases: The co-creation mechanism widely implemented within Alibaba embodies the de-management center thinking. Core employees participate in strategic discussions together, dynamically adjusting direction according to market changes, making strategic decisions emerge collectively within the organization. For example, the strategy for the annual "Double 11" shopping festival is not decided by executives behind closed doors, but is optimized in real-time by various business teams under data guidance, eventually forming a global consensus. In terms of organizational culture, Alibaba's "horse-racing mechanism" allows multiple teams to explore similar projects in parallel, with the successful ones prevailing, which is actually a decentralized adaptive evolution. In the early days of Taobao, multiple teams simultaneously developed different versions of product features, "growing wildly" with survival of the fittest, ultimately leaving the solution that best matched users. Similarly, Huawei's "rotating CEO" system and Haier's self-operating entity model are also attempts to weaken the single center and stimulate organizational self-evolution. Zeng Ming's ideas provide a theoretical foundation for such practices: future excellent enterprises should be self-evolving organisms, not machines driven by upper-level centralization.

2.6 Structural Empowerment

Background: "Empowerment" has become a buzzword in management, but Zeng Ming places more emphasis on "structural empowerment", which means embedding empowerment into the organizational structure itself through institutional and tool-level design. This way, empowerment is no longer just a matter of leader attitude but becomes part of the enterprise's operating mechanism.

Core Views: Structural empowerment requires enterprises to build platform systems that enable employees and partners to access needed resources and capabilities at any time. Zeng Ming points out that the future is an era of creativity, where much traditional management knowledge will be replaced by AI, and the greatest value of humans lies in innovation. Therefore, organizations need to stimulate human creative potential through empowerment. Empowerment is not just a slogan but must be implemented at the tool level. He exemplifies that for complex organizations like Alibaba, empowerment must rely on technological tools, among which *"data middle platform"* is a very important empowerment tool. The data middle platform precipitates the data and technical capabilities of various company businesses into universal modules, ready for use by front-end teams, greatly improving the efficiency of innovation and trial-and-error. Zeng Ming explains that the core value of the middle platform lies in allowing front-end innovation to change rapidly, equivalent to providing strong support for innovation. This is a form of structural empowerment: through platformized infrastructure (data, technology, operational support, etc.), capabilities are tooled and distributed to teams, allowing small teams to do what big companies can do. Structural empowerment also includes mechanism-level empowerment, such as equity incentives and benefit-sharing mechanisms, giving employees a sense of ownership, transforming from "I have to do it" to "I want to do it." In Zeng Ming's view, organizational principles are evolving from the past incentive to empowerment and co-creation. Empowering organizations enable talents to create value in a self-driven manner by providing space, resources, and help, rather than relying on manager supervision.

Application Cases: Alibaba is particularly outstanding in empowering ecosystem partners. For example, basic services provided to merchants such as Alipay payment, Cainiao logistics, and Alibaba Cloud computing are a form of "structural empowerment," helping small merchants reduce technical and operational barriers to entrepreneurship on the platform. Another example is Alibaba Cloud's development of open SaaS interfaces, allowing numerous third-party software service providers to connect, which is equivalent to empowering the entire ecosystem to serve merchants together. Looking at the company internally, Alibaba's middle platform strategy precipitates the technical capabilities that were repeatedly built by various business lines, turning them into shared services empowering all business departments, greatly enhancing overall collaborative efficiency and stimulating product innovation in frontline teams. Zeng Ming emphasizes, whoever evolves into an empowering enterprise first is more likely to become a winner in the intelligent business era. This is because structural empowerment enables the creative power of the entire ecosystem to be exponentially amplified, forming a virtuous cycle. This concept is influencing more and more enterprises to think about how to build platforms to empower employees and customers, thereby achieving growth together.

Chapter 3: Key Ideas in Representative Speeches, Articles, and Works

Zeng Ming has systematically expounded the above strategic ideas in public speeches, published works, and articles. This chapter selects three representative works—"Smart Business," "The Dictator's Innovation," and "Fierce for Ten Thousand Years"—to extract his core concepts.

3.1 "Smart Business"

Work Background: "Smart Business: What Alibaba's Success Reveals About the Future of Strategy" is a book published by Zeng Ming in 2018, systematically summarizing his observations and practices during more than ten years at Alibaba. The English version of this book was published by Harvard Business School Press. The book combines numerous Alibaba cases and classic business cases, aiming to provide strategic guidance for the digital age to enterprises in all industries.

Key Ideas: "Smart Business" proposes a refined formula: "Network Collaboration + Data Intelligence = Smart Business". Zeng Ming emphasizes that this equation reveals the reason behind Alibaba's success and is also the essence of future business. The book explains in detail how network collaboration reorganizes business processes that were previously vertically integrated through internet platforms into dispersed, flexible, scalable, globally optimized processes; and how data intelligence records and iteratively optimizes all business data, more accurately mining user needs and providing personalized products and services. The smart business era is therefore defined as: solving problems through large-scale multi-role real-time interaction (collaboration) and continuously optimizing decisions through full-chain data feedback (intelligence). Zeng Ming believes this new strategy is applicable to enterprises in any industry, not just internet companies.

A famous case in the book is Alibaba's annual "Double 11" shopping festival. Zeng Ming calls it a perfect example of network collaboration: Taobao/Tmall itself does not produce a single product, but through the platform, it mobilizes tens of millions of sellers and millions of partners to work collaboratively, fulfilling massive orders throughout the day. Such complex trading activities could not be completed by traditional vertical enterprises, but in the platform ecosystem, various links collaborate to achieve results far exceeding the efficiency of a single enterprise. This proves the power of network collaboration. On the other hand, data intelligence also plays a key role in Double 11: real-time data analysis guides inventory allocation, logistics routing, and marketing strategies, forming global optimization. All these validate the new strategic framework advocated in "Smart Business."

Impact and Evaluation: "Smart Business" comprehensively organized Alibaba's commercial evolution process and strategic new blueprint for the first time. The strategic framework and organizational principles proposed in the book (such as the new positioning theory of point-line-plane-body, the organizational evolution from management to empowerment, etc.) provide thought guidance for numerous entrepreneurs. It can be said that the book integrates Zeng Ming's various concepts proposed over the years (C2B, new business civilization, collaborative effects, etc.) into a systematic whole. As stated in the book: "This is a strategic guide for the digital economy era." Many enterprise executives use this book as essential reading for learning internet thinking and intelligent strategy. Through this work, Zeng Ming established his influence in the field of strategic management academia and industry, being hailed as the authoritative summary of the "Alibaba experience" by "Jack Ma's military advisor."

3.2 "The Dictator's Innovation"

Work Background: "The Dictator's Innovation" is a thought-provoking proposition put forward by Zeng Ming in a certain speech or article. The title carries a hint of humor and contradiction: on one hand, "dictator" refers to centralized leadership with strong power, on the other hand, "innovation" requires diversity and vitality. Behind this phrase actually lies Zeng Ming's unique insights into the relationship between leadership and innovation.

Key Ideas: Zeng Ming points out that in the early stages of innovation and at critical decision-making moments, centralized leadership can often play a key role. He describes how some outstanding entrepreneurs exhibit firmness and decisiveness like "dictators" when driving innovation. This is not derogatory, but emphasizes the importance of clear vision and strong execution for innovation breakthroughs. For example, Zhang Xiaolong, the father of WeChat, adopted an almost decisive style when leading the WeChat product, insisting on a "one-man show" to maintain the purity of the product experience, which was one of the reasons for WeChat's rapid rise. Similarly, Steve Jobs was seen as a "innovation dictator" in Silicon Valley, and his personal pursuit of perfection and decisive decision-making created Apple's disruptive products. Through these cases, Zeng Ming points out: in rapidly changing innovation fields, a visionary leader needs to centralize decision-making power at critical moments, boldly try and error, and even break bureaucratic resistance with personal authority. This "dictatorial" leadership can escort innovation in its early stages.

However, he also emphasizes that "the dictator's innovation" does not mean one person accomplishes everything. On the contrary, successful "innovation dictatorship" is often built on stimulating team passion and keenly capturing user voices. Once the innovation direction is verified as effective, leaders should timely delegate power, allowing broader creativity to participate. Zeng Ming's view reflects a consideration of dynamic balance in leadership: innovation needs a relaxed and free atmosphere, but also needs strong leadership to anchor direction in the initial chaos. As he said, "the most important core ability of enterprises today is not whether a strategic decision is right or wrong, but whether there is a system that can continuously make strategic judgments and corrections." If the initial autocracy can evolve into later openness and co-creation, then the enterprise will have both explosive power and sustainability.

Application Examples: Many of Alibaba's early product innovations also embody this point: for example, when Taobao was first created, Jack Ma insisted against opposition on not charging commissions from sellers (free model), a decision with a strong personal style that created the miracle of Taobao rapidly accumulating popularity. Similarly, when Alipay was initially promoting guaranteed transactions, it faced questioning, and Jack Ma ordered "do it first, talk later," and this determination is also a manifestation of "dictatorial" innovation. It was later proven that these decisions opened new chapters for Alibaba. Through "The Dictator's Innovation," Zeng Ming reminds entrepreneurs: in an era when thousands of troops are exploring innovation, don't just pursue democratic consensus and fall into mediocrity; sometimes you need the courage to break through forbidden zones alone. Of course, he also calls for turning successful experiences into the collective wisdom of the organization after "dictatorship," using mechanisms to make innovations continuously emerge, rather than forever relying on individual heroes.

3.3 "Fierce for Ten Thousand Years"

Work Background: "Fierce for Ten Thousand Years" is a rather jianghu-flavored expression, originating from a themed speech or article title by Zeng Ming (the specific source is often entrepreneurial forums or Hupan University sharing). This phrase sounds exaggerated but reflects his unique interpretation of entrepreneurial spirit and has become a motto circulated among entrepreneurs.

Key Ideas: "Fierce" means strong, brave, not afraid of challenges. "Ten Thousand Years" symbolizes an extremely long time span. Connecting the two, Zeng Ming uses this humorous phrase to emphasize that entrepreneurs must have lasting determination and fearless spirit. The core ideas include: courage and tenacity. First, the entrepreneurial journey is full of unknowns and difficulties, and only a "fierce" mindset can break through barriers—this means daring to break conventions, boldly trying and erring, not fearing failure or mockery. Second, "ten thousand years" implies long-termism. Zeng Ming repeatedly advises entrepreneurs that great undertakings cannot be accomplished overnight, and they must be prepared psychologically to persist day after day for ten years. Just as Alibaba proposed to be a "102-year company," this is a symbol reminding enterprises to take a long-term perspective and continue to strive for the future. Therefore, "Fierce for Ten Thousand Years" can be understood as: persisting to the end with aggressiveness and perseverance. No matter how external circumstances change, truly excellent entrepreneurs must have both the vigor of newborn calves not fearing tigers and the persistence of water dripping through stone.

Application Examples: Jack Ma and Alibaba's growth process is exactly a portrayal of "Fierce for Ten Thousand Years": from the 18 founders starting the business in 1999, to adhering to beliefs when the internet bubble burst, to later e-commerce wars and financial storms, in the face of every severe challenge, the Alibaba team displayed extraordinary resilience and courage, ultimately surviving harsh winters and winning victories. This spirit has also influenced the students of Hupan University. Zeng Ming shares many failure cases in Hupan classrooms, aiming to prepare entrepreneurs psychologically for "nine deaths and one life," facing the winding road of entrepreneurship with strong will. He says: "The greatest enemy of excellence is being content with goodness," and only by maintaining a fierce upward momentum can one continuously climb to new heights. Therefore, this phrase is both an encouragement to entrepreneurs and an extension of Zeng Ming's strategic thinking at the human level: strategy is not only analysis and planning but also needs the support of spiritual strength. It is this style of both rational insight and passion that makes Zeng Ming's speeches widely welcomed by audiences and also injects confidence and fighting spirit into countless entrepreneurs.

Chapter 4: Systematic Summary and Outlook of Enterprise Strategy, Organizational Management, and Innovation Methods

Integrating the above ideas, Professor Zeng Ming has constructed a strategic management system for the intelligent business era, systematically summarizing enterprise strategy formulation, organizational management, and innovation methods, and making forward-looking prospects for future development.

1. New Paradigm of Strategy Formulation: Traditional strategy seeks to reduce uncertainty, formulate long-term plans, and execute efficiently. But Zeng Ming has redefined strategy: strategy is no longer a static plan, but a dynamic process of repeated iteration between Vision and Action. He proposed the "AV cycle" (vision-action rapid feedback loop) model. Specifically, enterprise leaders must first have a long-term industrial endgame judgment (Vision), but under rapidly changing environments, any prediction may deviate, so what's more important is the continuous process of "prediction-experimentation-correction". Action itself becomes an exploration tool: rapid execution, small-step trial-and-error, validating or correcting the initial vision from market feedback. This cycle repeats itself, allowing strategy to self-adjust and develop. Zeng Ming emphasizes: "What's important is not whether the prediction is right or wrong, but whether you are constantly making predictions." Through high-frequency iteration, enterprises can find certainty in uncertainty. He also points out that wasting some resources is worthwhile to quickly test and find direction; internet companies dare to progress on multiple lines and conduct redundant experiments for this reason. This shift in strategic thinking has enlightened many traditional enterprise managers: rather than trying to formulate perfect plans, it's better to learn while doing, seeking the optimal path in dynamics.

2. New Principles of Organizational Management: Zeng Ming's summary is that future organizations must transition from "management-oriented" to "empowerment-oriented". Management-oriented organizations rely on hierarchical commands and KPI assessments, suitable for stable environments; while empowerment-oriented organizations emphasize network collaboration and creativity, adapting to the rapidly changing intelligent era. Specific new principles include: vision-driven replacing instruction-driven—letting all employees understand the company's long-term mission, uniting through shared vision rather than constraining through regulations; culture and mechanisms replacing hierarchical control—guiding behavior through values, equity incentives, shared results, rather than through administrative orders; empowerment replacing management—leaders' roles changing from commanders to coaches and servers, providing resource platforms for the frontline to create greater value; co-creation replacing top-level decision-making—encouraging employees to participate in strategic discussions and innovation projects, forming bottom-up decision emergence mechanisms. Additionally, organizational structures will become more flattened and elastic. Zeng Ming deduces that the best form for creating new businesses in the future may be "special forces"-style small teams: a dozen people working closely together can support an entrepreneurial project. These small teams, supported by the company's internal loosely coupled platforms, plus externally open network collaboration, form a three-layer organizational structure of "tightly coupled small teams + loosely coupled platforms + open networks". In this form, efficient execution will increasingly be undertaken by AI, and human energy will focus on creating unique value. In a nutshell, future organizations are a kind of human-machine collaborative, network-evolving organism: AI handles tedious affairs, humans exert creativity, and the two collaborate in operations. This series of new organizational principles by Zeng Ming provides operational guidelines for enterprises transitioning from industrial paradigms to digital paradigms.

3. New Approaches to Innovation Methods: In the field of innovation, Zeng Ming particularly emphasizes embracing uncertainty and cross-border integration. He points out that uncertainty means opportunity, and true strategy should grasp potential demands that have not yet manifested. Therefore, enterprises should encourage exploratory innovation, preferring to experiment in multiple directions rather than adhering to a single direction. Alibaba's internal "horse-racing" mechanism is precisely to maintain diversity in response to an uncertain future. Zeng Ming also mentions the "point-line-plane-body" strategic thinking to guide different innovation paths: point breakthrough (single-point innovation like Uber focusing on ride-hailing), line integration (building an industry chain), plane orientation (creating multi-sided market platforms), and finally body as an ecosystem. Different enterprises should choose suitable innovation paths based on their own situations. Additionally, he is very concerned about technology-driven innovation. In recent speeches, he has discussed how AI technology is triggering business paradigm changes: "AI essentially solves the problem of decision efficiency and costs, with its core value lying in creating new supply." As artificial intelligence develops, machines will liberate people from repetitive, boring mental labor, giving people more time to engage in creative matters. This will give rise to many previously unimaginable new products and services. Zeng Ming predicts, "In principle, there will be no 'product companies' in the future, only 'service companies,' with products merely being carriers of services." In other words, enterprises need to transform into user-centered, scenario-based service providers. To meet this trend, he suggests that enterprises accelerate digital and intelligent transformation, using AI, big data, and other technologies to upgrade business models. In terms of organizational and intelligent entity co-creation, he depicts a future picture: AI becomes employees' "colleagues," organizational structures are redefined, and human-machine integration produces new work paradigms. Facing such a future, he encourages enterprises to maintain a spirit of lifelong learning and self-revolution, proactively embracing technological changes, even if it means overthrowing their old models. This self-iteration is the embodiment of the "self-evolution" spirit advocated by Zeng Ming at the innovation level.

4. Future Prospects: Zeng Ming is full of confidence about business transformation in the next 10 years and beyond. In his view, human business society has experienced agricultural economy and industrial economy, and is now entering a new era based on intelligent technology. This is a civilization-level leap. In his second "Looking Ten Years Ahead" public lecture, he pointed out that the AI era has arrived, like welcoming a new "iPhone moment." He predicts that three major technological mainlines—General Artificial Intelligence, Autonomous Driving, and Scientific Intelligence (AI for Science)—will reshape various industries. The underlying logic of enterprise value creation will also change—in the past, information asymmetry was a business opportunity, now AI makes information matching tend toward perfection; in the past, insufficient production capacity was the norm, now production overcapacity requires mining potential demands. Therefore, he believes that "uncertainty is the opportunity for creation". The essence of strategy will become more synonymous with innovation, with every executive and even every employee needing to possess strategic thinking, closely integrated with product technology. Zeng Ming also has prospects for talent: the future most needs creative talent with multi-dimensional perspectives and unique specialties, because AI will lower the threshold of professional knowledge, and composite creative talent will stand out. He encourages the younger generation to engage in learning cutting-edge technologies such as AI while cultivating humanistic insights, in order to lead innovation in the era of human-machine collaboration.

In summary, Professor Zeng Ming's strategic thinking system has painted for us a new blueprint for the intelligent business era: enterprise strategy must have the foresight to follow trends, as well as the agility for rapid trial and error; organizational management must be people-oriented and network-collaborative, allowing organizations to self-evolve like living organisms; innovation methods must dare to break boundaries, make good use of new technologies, and transform uncertainty into growth momentum. Looking toward the future, this system of thinking will continue to guide enterprises in finding the right direction amid turbulent technological changes and achieving sustained prosperity. As Zeng Ming says: "It takes ten years to achieve greatness," only by seeing the major trends, adhering to the mission, and continuously innovating can one stand invincible in the wave of new business civilization.

30-Day Appreciative Mindset Psychological Growth Practice Course

· 52 min read

Course Introduction

Welcome to this 30-day journey of psychological growth! The core theme of this course is "appreciative mindset," aimed at helping you actively cultivate the "ability to appreciate" and "ability to share joy"—that is, the capacity to sincerely praise others and share in their joy. Through about 10 minutes of practice each day, you will gradually learn to genuinely appreciate others, express praise sincerely and appropriately, and integrate this positive habit into your daily interpersonal interactions.

Why practice an appreciative mindset? First, when we see others' strengths and achievements and genuinely feel happy for them, this goodwill improves our own mood, making us happier. Research shows that sincerely praising others increases the happiness of both the giver and receiver. As psychologist William James said: "The desire to be appreciated is one of the most fundamental human traits." Learning to praise others not only satisfies people's psychological need for recognition but is also a gift of warmth and kindness. Second, an appreciative mindset helps improve interpersonal relationships. Appropriately praising others can bring people closer, build trust, and make communication smoother—it's often called the lubricant of interpersonal interactions. When you genuinely appreciate others, you often gain more goodwill and support, enhancing your social influence.

This course is structured in four progressive stages, each lasting about 7 days: Stage One (Awareness of Appreciation) focuses on cultivating the ability to observe others' strengths and appreciate them; Stage Two (Verbal Expression) practices how to express appreciation in appropriate language; Stage Three (Social Practice) encourages you to take action in real life, attempting praise in different situations; Stage Four (Character Internalization) helps you integrate appreciative mindset into your values, becoming a stable character trait. Daily exercises take various forms, including verbal expression, writing, scenario imagination, small action tasks, and mindful meditation, allowing you to improve your ability to praise others from different angles. Each day we will provide a practice theme, specific task instructions, and guiding words or examples for your reference. Please maintain an open heart and persist in completing each day's brief 10-minute practice. Believe that after a month, you will develop the habit of genuinely praising others and a more positive, joyful attitude toward life. Keep going!

Stage One: Awareness of Appreciation (Days 1-7)

In this week, you'll train your "appreciation ability," learning to notice the bright spots in others and genuinely feeling happy about these good qualities in your heart. This is the foundation of an appreciative mindset: first having sincere appreciation in your heart, then offering genuine praise. Each day's practice will help you gradually change your perspective on people around you, seeing more of what is worthy of appreciation in them.

  • Day 1: Discovering the Power of Appreciation Task: Today, we begin by understanding the appreciative mindset. First, take a moment to contemplate what "appreciative mindset" means—it refers to seeing others' good behaviors or achievements, genuinely feeling joyful about them, and offering praise and admiration. After understanding the concept, close your eyes and spend a few minutes recalling a recent event that made you happy for someone else: perhaps a friend got promoted, a classmate achieved good results, or a family member overcame difficulties. Then allow yourself to feel a genuine happiness, as if this success belongs to you, and in your heart, say a word of praise or blessing to that person. You can also quietly speak this praise aloud. Guidance: "When you truly feel happy for others' success, this joy also flows into your heart." Try to feel the meaning of this sentence—others' achievements don't diminish your light; on the contrary, in the moment you rejoice for others, your heart is also filled with joy. Today's exercise is a foundation for the next 30 days: learning to appreciate and bless others is a good start. You can record your feelings in your journal, write down the event you chose to appreciate, and your words of praise in your heart.

  • Day 2: Observing Others' Strengths Task: To cultivate an appreciative mindset, first learn to discover qualities worth admiring around you. Today, consciously observe the people around you (family, friends, or colleagues), noting strengths in each person. Find a quiet moment, select at least 3 people you know well, and write down one strength or quality you admire in each person. This quality can be related to character, such as kindness, humor, reliability; abilities, such as good cooking, high work efficiency; or small sparks in life, such as always being punctual, having good taste in clothes. Try to be specific, not staying with vague descriptions like "they're nice." After writing, spend some time imagining what your life would be missing without these qualities, thus appreciating their value. Guidance: "Everyone has bright spots worthy of praise." When we look carefully, we can always find different kinds of goodness in those around us. Through this exercise, you'll discover that familiar people have many qualities you may have previously overlooked. Learning to appreciate these qualities is the first step toward sincere praise. Example: (1) My husband is very patient—yesterday he spent two hours patiently helping our child with homework without losing his temper; (2) My good friend Xiao Li is helpful—last week when I moved, she took the initiative to help and brought homemade food; (3) Colleague Xiao Zhang is witty and humorous—every team meeting he helps relieve tension, allowing everyone to relax.

  • Day 3: Appreciation Journal Task: Today we'll transform observed appreciation into words. Choose someone around you, whether a friend or colleague, and write a piece praising them. This piece is like a commendation or thank-you letter, but you don't have to actually send it or show it to them yet—it's just for practice. Take a few minutes to write in your journal or on paper your appreciation for this person: what excellent qualities they have, what admirable things they've done, and the impact these qualities or behaviors have had on you. Try to write in a sincere tone, as if you're genuinely conversing with them. After writing, read it once, feeling the respect and appreciation between the lines. Guidance: Writing an appreciation journal helps us clarify our feelings of admiration for others, making vague positive feelings concrete in language, which will make your praise more genuine and powerful. Don't worry about whether your words are elegant—focus on authenticity. As you write, picture the person's face and your shared experiences, letting emotions naturally flow to your pen. Example: "Dear Mom: I want to tell you that I've always admired your strength and kindness. You always selflessly give to our family, facing any difficulties with a smile. This has taught me the value of perseverance and love. I feel lucky to be your child, and thank you for everything you do." (Your journal doesn't need to be this formal; even a few sentences are fine as long as they express your genuine appreciation.)

  • Day 4: Capturing Moments of Kindness Task: Today's exercise is to cultivate sensitivity to appreciation in daily life. Starting from the morning, consciously observe behaviors or qualities worthy of appreciation happening around you. These can be any small moments in life: such as seeing someone give up their seat to an elderly person on the bus, a colleague who remains patient in responding to requests despite being busy, or a stranger leaving a heartwarming comment online. Please capture at least one thing or quality in others that makes you think "that's nice." If conditions allow, smile or nod to that person right then to show your appreciation (if you're shy about complimenting directly, you can express goodwill through body language or eye contact). At the end of the day, take out your notes and briefly record this moment of kindness you observed, and write down your words of praise or feelings about it. Guidance: "Beauty is everywhere; it depends on whether you choose to discover it." What you're doing today is training yourself to promptly discover people and things worthy of appreciation. Constant observation and recording will make you more sensitive to positive energy around you. When recording in the evening, recalling that moment, you may find that even just witnessing others' good deeds improves your mood. This is precisely the emotional uplift that comes from an appreciative mindset. With persistent observation, you'll increasingly feel that kindness and excellence are everywhere in life.

  • Day 5: Shared Joy Meditation Task: Today we return to our inner world for a "joy sharing" meditation practice. Find a quiet, undisturbed place to sit, relax your body, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths to calm yourself. Then bring to mind someone you know who recently experienced something joyful or achieved some success. Perhaps your good friend found an ideal job, a colleague reached a performance goal, or a child in your family placed well in a competition. As you imagine this person and their joy, visualize the happy smile on their face, and genuinely feel happy for their joy. As you breathe, send your blessings to them, silently repeating a few words of blessing or appreciation, such as: "I'm genuinely happy for your success; may your joy continue." Feel the joy and goodwill flowing in your heart at this moment. If your mind wanders during meditation, don't worry—gently bring your attention back to the happy person and your blessings. Continue for 5-10 minutes. Guidance: In Buddhism, "appreciative joy" is considered a noble quality—seeing others free from suffering and attaining happiness, and feeling joy yourself. By practicing this quality through meditation, we can purify our hearts and make it easier to empathize with others' happiness. "Your joy is also my joy." Repeatedly contemplate this thought. If you don't immediately recall real people and events today, you can imagine a scenario, such as visualizing some stranger in the world doing well, and sending them sincere blessings. After meditation, open your eyes and feel the warmth and peace in your heart. The heart of appreciation can be gradually expanded and deepened through practice.

  • Day 6: Experiencing the Power of Praise Task: Today we put ourselves in others' shoes, experiencing the positive power of praise from the recipient's perspective. Find a quiet moment to recall a past event in your own life: a time when you were sincerely praised or recognized by others. Perhaps it was a teacher publicly praising your progress in childhood, a boss recently affirming your work results, or a friend or family member sincerely complimenting one of your qualities. Choose a memorable experience of being praised and mentally relive the scene: What words did you hear? What expression and tone did the person use? How did you feel inside at that moment, and did a smile appear on your face? Then, write a few sentences on paper describing the emotions and impact this experience brought you, such as "That praise made me feel..." or "I felt that I..." Then reflect: Why did that praise have such a strong impact on you? Was it because the person spoke sincerely and specifically, or because you craved recognition? Briefly note these reflections as well. Finally, silently make a resolve in your heart: In the future, I will also make others feel the joy and power of sincere praise, just as I once did. Guidance: When we personally experience the warmth of sincere praise, we better understand why we should pass this gift to others. Psychological research shows that being recognized and appreciated greatly satisfies one's self-esteem and sense of belonging. Giving others this positive experience is also a form of self-growth. "Put yourself in others' shoes: How would you like to be praised? That's how others hope to receive sincere appreciation." By reviewing this experience, I hope you'll be more determined to practice an appreciative mindset, because you already know how powerful it can be.

  • Day 7: First Week Reflection Task: Today is the last day of the first stage. Take about 10 minutes to review and summarize the "appreciation awareness" practices of the past week. Take out your journal or a piece of paper and try to answer the following questions: These past few days, have you noticed others' strengths and good deeds more than before? How have your emotions changed when observing and writing down these appreciations—has your mood become more positive or joyful? Was there any day's practice that particularly impressed you or felt challenging? For example, you might find yourself already habitually looking for details worthy of appreciation, or realizing many previously overlooked moments of kindness. Write down your feelings and gains, honestly recording new insights as well as lingering doubts. Finally, summarize: How has your understanding of the concept of "appreciative mindset" deepened? Also, look ahead to the next stage, telling yourself: Starting tomorrow, I will try to express these observed appreciations in words. Prepare yourself mentally and look forward to this. Guidance: "Awareness is the starting point of change." In the first week, you've already begun to open your eyes wider to see the beauty of this world. Though these days may be just small exercises, incremental changes are accumulating. Through reflection, you can more clearly see your progress and also discover areas that need strengthening. If it still feels somewhat unnatural, that's okay—it's a normal process. Please give yourself credit for your persistence and mindfulness! In the coming week, we'll move into expression practice. Keep going, and bravely express your feelings of appreciation!

Stage Two: Verbal Expression (Days 8-14)

After training in the first stage, you are now better at discovering commendable aspects in others. In the coming week, we will focus on how to express appreciation appropriately in language. Sincere emotions need to be conveyed through suitable words to let others feel your appreciation. The exercises in this stage include learning praise techniques, practicing phrasing in different ways, and ensuring that praise sounds sincere and appropriate. In each day's 10 minutes, you will master a small technique or complete an expression exercise, laying the foundation for future practical application.

  • Day 8: Specific Detail Praise Task: Today we practice making praise specific. Vague, general compliments often have poor effect, while specific details are more touching. Recall a strength of someone you previously recorded, or choose someone you want to praise today, and try to make your praise more specific. First, think about what general compliment you might typically give them, like "You're great" or "You look beautiful." Next, refine this statement: point out what aspect makes them great, or what specifically makes them beautiful. It could be a specific behavior, a detail, or a characteristic. Write it down or organize your thoughts, then say it softly to yourself in the mirror, feeling the difference between the two expressions. You'll find that specific praise sounds more sincere and powerful. Guidance: "The devil is in the details, and so is the warmth of praise." When you can specifically describe someone's strengths, they'll realize: "Wow, you really noticed me!" This is more impactful than a simple "That's good." For example, instead of saying "You're amazing," say "The idea you shared today was very creative; it solved our big problem—truly amazing!" Similarly, don't just say "You look good," but rather "The color of your outfit today really suits you, making you look especially energetic." As mentioned in an article: "Saying 'you're beautiful' a hundred times doesn't compare to one 'your outfit coordination today is very fashionable.'" Try adding such specific details to your daily compliments, and your praise will be more touching.

  • Day 9: Praising Effort and Progress Task: Today focuses on others' efforts and growth. Sometimes directly praising someone as smart or beautiful might suggest it's due to innate talent, but praising the effort they've put in or the progress they've made shows more thoughtfulness and sincerity. This is also a way to encourage others. Think about who around you has recently improved through effort? It might be a colleague who persisted in exercising and successfully lost weight; a friend who overcame stage fright and performed well in public speaking; or a family member whose cooking skills improved through practice. If you have such a person in mind, write down a sentence praising their effort and results. If there's no obvious example nearby, you can also recall a past scenario of someone's effort. The key is to emphasize the rewards behind the person's dedication. Guidance: "Everyone hopes their efforts will be seen." When we point out others' progress, they feel that you care about them and recognize their dedication. For example, you can say: "You've been very successful in losing weight recently, and your whole person looks more energetic! I know it's not easy, and it's great that you've persisted." Or "I can hear that your piano playing has become much smoother than before with your daily practice!" Such praise is not only sincere but will also make the person feel that their efforts are rewarded, boosting their confidence. Example: "You've been studying English every night recently, and I've noticed your spoken English has improved a lot—you're communicating more naturally with foreigners now, I'm really happy for you!" By praising others' progress in this way, you're also silently encouraging them to continue moving forward.

  • Day 10: Verbal Praise Practice Task: Today we practice verbal expression of praise. Many people aren't used to speaking words of praise in daily life, and it might feel a bit awkward the first time. So, it's good to practice first in an environment without others. Please stand in front of a mirror, facing yourself, and imagine you're about to praise someone. Recall some praise statements you wrote down in previous days, or words you plan to actually praise someone with tomorrow. Now speak the praise aloud, addressing the "other person" in the mirror. Pay attention to your tone and expression: try to use a natural, sincere manner, like chatting with a friend, rather than stiffly reciting lines. Try to smile, maintain sincere eye contact, and speak in a calm tone. You can practice 2-3 different praises, adjusting your expression until you feel it sounds warm and genuine. Guidance: Practicing in front of a mirror before actually facing someone helps you correct nervous or exaggerated tones, making your praise sound more comfortable. Imagine the person you want to praise is in the mirror—would your tone and expression make them feel at ease? If it feels stiff, take a deep breath, relax, and try again. "Spoken praise should be as gentle as the spring breeze." Appropriate eye contact and smiles are also important. If mirror practice isn't convenient, closing the door and speaking to the air works too. Through today's practice, you'll gain more confidence in how to start praising, and the next step is to actually say these words to others.

  • Day 11: Written Praise Practice Task: Today we switch methods and use writing to express appreciation. Choose someone you greatly admire (perhaps a family member, friend, teacher, colleague, etc.), and write them a sincere letter of praise or thanks. This letter doesn't need to be long—even three to five sentences is fine—but it should be specific and genuine. You can write about: what qualities you admire in them, how they've helped or inspired you, and why this means a lot to you. The tone can be warm and sincere, and a conversational style is perfectly fine. After writing, read it carefully, feeling the emotions conveyed in the words. If you're willing and conditions allow, you can actually send this letter (via email, text message, or social media)—it will be a surprise and gift for the recipient. Of course, if it's not convenient to send for now, keeping the letter is also good, as the key is practicing how to organize language to praise others in writing. Guidance: Sometimes, writing makes it easier for us to open our hearts and express praise that might be difficult to say in person. When writing, you don't have to worry about the recipient's immediate reaction, allowing you to express your inner feelings more freely. "Putting pen to paper is giving voice to the heart." Through writing, you can more calmly and completely express your appreciation for someone. For the person receiving the letter, it might become a precious memory. Whether or not you actually send it, this thoughtfully written praise will deepen your inner appreciation for others. Structure Example: "Dear ____: First, I want to say thank you... (write the specific thing you're grateful for or appreciate). I especially admire your ____ (describe the person's strengths), which has made me ____ (write the positive impact on you). I'm glad to tell you these things, and I hope you know that in my eyes, you are a person who is ____." (You can follow this outline, but authentic content is more important than format.)

  • Day 12: Scenario Dialogue Practice Task: Today we conduct praise scenario simulation. Imagine a scenario where you will praise someone, and rehearse in advance how you will speak. You can simply list the dialogue on paper or simulate it in your mind. Scenarios can be chosen from the following: 1) The person shares good news: for example, a colleague tells you they passed a qualification exam; 2) Daily conversation opportunity: you're chatting with a friend about something, and it's the perfect chance to praise their insight or character; 3) You actively give praise: during casual conversation, you suddenly mention a strength of the other person to praise them. After selecting a scenario, imagine how the conversation unfolds, and write down or imagine what you plan to say. Try to stay close to life, using your normal speaking tone. Then go through this dialogue in your mind, or quietly speak it to yourself. Guidance: "Rehearsal makes performance more natural." By practicing in advance, you won't be too flustered in real situations and can express yourself more freely. Imagine the possible responses from the other person—if it's a good news scenario, they might smile and thank you modestly; if you praise proactively, they might be a bit surprised but respond happily. How should you reply then? You can briefly go through this in your mind. For example, scenario: A friend tells you they completed a marathon. Dialogue example: Friend: "I actually finished my first marathon last week!" You: "That's awesome! 🎉 You've been consistently training, which is really impressive. This achievement is completely the result of your effort. I'm especially proud of you!" Friend: "Thank you! Actually, I wanted to give up several times..." (Your friend might start sharing their experience, while you listen attentively and offer affirmation at appropriate times). By rehearsing a few sentences like this in advance, you'll find that when facing similar scenarios, words of praise have already formed in your heart and can naturally be spoken.

  • Day 13: Sincerity Check Task: Today, pause the practical steps and conduct a self-check on the sincerity of your praise. Think about those words of praise you've prepared these days or compliments you've already spoken. Was there any that, when spoken, you felt didn't come 100% from your heart? Or any praise that, upon reflection, felt somewhat insincere or like mere politeness? Please honestly face this feeling, rewrite that praise, and then ask yourself: "Do I really think so? If not, can I find something I genuinely admire about the person to praise instead?" We hope all praise is built on a foundation of real appreciation, not praising for the sake of praising. If you find examples that aren't sincere enough, don't be discouraged—this is the meaning of practice. Now please try to rewrite this praise to make it sincere and appropriate. Perhaps it needs to be more specific, or maybe you need to choose a point you truly admire. After rewriting, read the new sentence aloud, feeling whether your inner sense of agreement has strengthened. Guidance: Sincerity is the life force of an appreciative mindset. Without genuine feeling, praise can become hollow flattery, making people uncomfortable. As noted: "If praise doesn't come from the heart, it can easily make the other person feel uncomfortable, like you're being overly ingratiating and insincere." So, it's better to praise less than to ensure every word spoken comes from genuine appreciation. Through today's check, you can summarize the secret to sincere praise: only praise qualities you genuinely approve of, don't exaggerate in tone, and if necessary, find an angle more aligned with your true feelings. From now on, develop the habit of quickly checking sincerity in your heart before praising. If it feels disingenuous, adjust your wording or simply don't say it. Maintaining this principle, each of your praises will be heartfelt, making people willing to accept them.

  • Day 14: Praise Action Plan Task: Starting tomorrow, we will formally enter real-life scenarios to apply the appreciative mindset. Therefore, today please make a small plan for your praise social practice. Review the people around you and your upcoming schedule, think about what occasions in the next few days you can take action to praise others, and plan in advance what topics you want to praise for each occasion. Try to list at least 3 specific plans: for example, "praise mom for her recent cooking when I see her tomorrow," "thank a colleague who helped with overtime last week when I get to work on Monday," "compliment a friend's new work at the weekend gathering," and so on. Each plan can include who (who you will praise), timing (under what circumstances, such as after dinner, end of a meeting), and general content (what you plan to praise them for). Write down these plans. This way, you'll feel more confident, and these plans will drive you to notice and capture appropriate timing. Guidance: "Preparation leads to success; lack of preparation leads to failure." The same applies to praise—making some preparation beforehand will make your actions smoother and more natural. With a plan, you're less likely to shy away or forget to praise in the moment. Remind yourself of the key points of praising: be sincere and specific, not exaggerated, not abrupt, matching the occasion. If you're concerned about wording, you can even draft a few sentences on paper. Although we can't script every conversation, having an outline is always good. With these small plans and full confidence, welcome tomorrow's practical exercise! You're ready to bring "appreciative mindset" into your life.

Stage Three: Social Practice (Days 15-21)

Now, you've learned to appreciate others and mastered certain praise expression techniques. It's time to enter real-life interaction scenarios and boldly put appreciative mindset into practice! In this stage, each day will give you a different social context or task, encouraging you to apply what you've learned to praise people around you. Starting with the closest family and friends, gradually expanding to colleagues, acquaintances, and even strangers. Through a consecutive week of daily practice, you'll experience the actual impact of appreciative mindset on interpersonal relationships and personal emotions. Meanwhile, firsthand attempts will help you discover which methods work and which areas need adjustment. Remember, after completing each task, take a moment to notice your mood and the other person's reaction—these are valuable feedback.

  • Day 15: Praising Those Closest to You Task: Start with the most familiar people, offering a heartfelt compliment to close family members or friends. We often hesitate to express appreciation to those closest to us, taking them for granted, but it's precisely these intimate relationships that need to be nourished with sincere appreciation. Think about a family member/close friend you haven't praised in a long time—what quality do you particularly admire in them but rarely express? Or what praiseworthy thing have they done recently? Choose an entry point, and today find an opportunity to express your praise and gratitude to them, whether in person, by phone, or voice message. You can be direct, such as: "I want to tell you, I've always admired you for..." or "Thank you for always... I really think you're great." Pay attention to sincere tone and eye contact when speaking. If face-to-face makes you shy, you can type a message, but try to use voice or in-person communication if possible, as it better conveys emotion. Afterward, observe the person's reaction—they might be a bit surprised, but certainly happy. Guidance: The closest people are often the most important in our lives, and everything they do for us deserves recognition and praise. "Express love loudly." When you muster the courage to praise parents, partners, or close friends, you're also expressing love and gratitude. This will bring your hearts closer. Don't worry about whether your praise is perfect—your sincerity outweighs a thousand words. If you're not sure how to start, imagine it's the person's birthday, and you're offering wishes—what would you say? Use a similar mindset to praise, and the person will surely feel your affection. Today's task will likely warm both your hearts.

  • Day 16: Praising Colleagues or Acquaintances Task: Extend praise to your daily social circle. Choose a colleague, classmate, or neighbor—someone who isn't in your intimate circle but with whom you have a friendly relationship. Today, find an opportunity to compliment them. The content can relate to their responsibilities or recent behaviors, such as telling a colleague: "Your PPT was very clear and intuitive, making it easier for everyone to understand the plan—truly impressive!" Or saying to the security guard you often meet: "You keep the community so well-organized every day; everyone is grateful to you." The key points of praise remain being authentic, specific, and relevant to the context. If you have an opportunity to work or talk with them today, naturally incorporate the praise; if there's no special opportunity, you can create a small interaction, such as chatting briefly and offering a compliment when you meet at the water cooler. Afterward, notice their reaction and your own mood changes. Guidance: For colleagues and acquaintances, a small recognition often brings unexpected positive impact, improving mutual work or social atmosphere. Many people are accustomed to giving praise only in formal settings, yet private, heartfelt compliments are more valuable. When you praise a colleague's work or something an acquaintance does well, the trust and friendliness between you also rises a level. Don't be afraid of appearing strange—everyone craves recognition deep down, and when hearing praise from peers, they'll mostly accept it gladly and even work harder. The so-called interpersonal lubrication effect will manifest—perhaps one sincere compliment will make future cooperation and communication smoother and more pleasant.

  • Day 17: Praising Strangers Task: Today the challenge escalates: try to praise a stranger. This might sound difficult, but in many situations, it can be done naturally and often brings good mood to the recipient for the whole day. Subjects you can choose include: service industry personnel (such as store clerks, waiters, drivers), passersby you encounter, or people you're meeting for the first time today. Scenario examples: When buying coffee at a café, tell the barista, "This latte art looks beautiful, thank you for your care"; when finishing a ride-share, tell the driver, "The car is very clean, your service is considerate"; or even when walking dogs in the park, compliment a passing stranger, "Your dog is so cute, it looks very well cared for!" Choose a scenario that feels comfortable to you. The key is to maintain a natural, friendly tone, with a smile, so the other person doesn't feel abrupt. If directly speaking to a stranger, you can nod and leave after the compliment, without lingering. Afterward, you'll likely find your nervousness gradually turning into happiness, because you've just brought a smile to a stranger. Guidance: "The world becomes warmer through the kindness of strangers." When you muster the courage to praise a stranger, you're breaking down barriers in interpersonal communication, spreading positive energy outward. Of course, praise for strangers should be measured and appropriate to the occasion. Try to choose content the person would be happy to hear, such as work performance, pets, children, attire, or other positive topics. If complimenting a stranger of the opposite sex on appearance, be more cautious with wording to avoid misunderstandings. Overall, most people will happily accept polite, friendly compliments. You may never see this stranger again, but your one sentence might brighten their whole day. This is one charm of the appreciative mindset: allowing even strangers to exchange goodwill. After today's attempt, you'll have more courage and confidence to face various social situations, and your "appreciation ability" can now influence a wider range of people.

  • Day 18: Rejoicing in Others' Success Task: Today focuses on cheering for others' achievements. Notice if anyone around you has recently achieved something worth celebrating or received good news: such as a colleague getting promoted, a friend being admitted to graduate school, a relative having a new baby, etc. If so, please take the initiative to contact this person and sincerely offer congratulations and praise. You can say it in person; if you can't meet, call, send a voice message, or write a message. Your expression should contain two parts: 1) Warmly congratulate them on their success; 2) Affirm the effort they put in or the ability they demonstrated. For example: "I heard you received the Outstanding Employee award, I'm really happy for you! You've always worked so hard; this honor is well-deserved!" Let the person feel your heartfelt joy and admiration. If there don't seem to be any "big celebrations" around you recently, that's okay—you can set smaller goals: for instance, a friend has been consistently getting up early to run for a month, which is also an achievement worth recognizing—you can praise their amazing perseverance; or a colleague has overcome a technical problem, which is also worth celebrating. In short, applaud others' victories, big or small. Guidance: When we genuinely admire others' achievements, we're practicing the "ability to share joy." When your friend achieves success and you're truly happy for them, this is a very precious quality. Many people, when facing others' good fortune, may congratulate on the surface while feeling sour inside, but what you're doing today is fully immersing yourself in the other person's joy—no comparison, no jealousy, only blessings and appreciation. "Their success feels like my own light." You'll discover that this mindset fills your own world with brilliance too. Even better, when you generously praise others' brilliance, your friendship deepens, and they become more willing to share life's joys with you. Appreciative joy is the adhesive of friendship and trust. I hope today's practice allows you to personally feel that others' success can also light up your heart.

  • Day 19: Praising People Behind Their Back Task: Today, try an indirect way of expressing appreciation—praising someone's strengths or contributions when they're not present, to a third party. This might sound strange: why not praise people to their face? Actually, "behind-the-back praise" is often more convincing because it has no element of flattery, and once it reaches the praised person's ears, they'll be even more touched. According to etiquette experts, praising behind someone's back is more effective than face-to-face compliments. So how do you do this? Think of someone you want to praise and another person who knows both of you. Find an opportunity to casually mention to your mutual friend/colleague that this person is excellent in some way. For example, in the office break room, chatting with colleagues, say: "By the way, Xiao Wang planned this client event really well; our team is fortunate to have him, making everything go so smoothly." Or while chatting with family members, praise an absent family member: "Sister has really improved lately; she still studies after work every day—it's quite admirable." Speak naturally, not seeming deliberately boastful about someone, just mentioning strengths in passing. If appropriate, this third party will likely relay your praise to the person, achieving the effect of "moistening things silently." Even if it's not conveyed, you're still establishing an image of someone who appreciates others. Guidance: "Speaking well of someone behind their back is worth a thousand words to their face." Behind-the-back praise reflects a higher level of appreciation: you're not seeking direct thanks or feedback, just purely acknowledging the person. This behavior actually better reflects your sincerity. If the person later hears you praised them behind their back, they'll often feel especially touched, believing your praise is definitely not just polite words. As mentioned: "Praising others' strengths behind their backs is more effective than face-to-face compliments." Of course, this doesn't mean we shouldn't praise people directly—both methods have their place. Today, try being someone who "praises in their absence." Believe this will bring you a new realization: praise can also be conveyed so indirectly, and it's indeed very effective. In future social interactions, you can alternate between direct and indirect praise, letting your good reputation spread throughout your social circle. Example: Colleague A complains to you: "The project is really difficult lately." You can say: "It is difficult, but our team leader Xiao Li is really capable; he always comes up with ideas to help everyone solve problems. Fortunately we have him, otherwise it would be even more headache-inducing." —If these words reach Xiao Li's ears, he'll definitely believe you genuinely appreciate his talent.

  • Day 20: Making Praise Part of Daily Life Task: After several consecutive days of practice, you've been continuously sending out voices of praise to the outside world. Today there are no new tricks; the requirement is simple: continue to give at least one sincere compliment. You can repeat any form from previous days—praising family, colleagues, strangers, congratulating others, etc., depending on your life scenarios today. The reason for arranging such a day is to reinforce the habit of daily praise, gradually integrating it into your daily routine. Today, pay special attention to whether praising feels more natural. Think back to the first day when praising others might have felt awkward or required wracking your brain. Now, on Day 20, you may have developed a kind of conditioned reflex: as soon as you see someone doing well, the thought of wanting to praise them emerges. Please be mindful of this change. If it still doesn't feel natural, that's okay too—habit formation varies from person to person. As long as you persist, it will eventually internalize into natural behavior. After completing today's praise, take a few minutes to think: How does praising now compare to when you first started? Is your tone more relaxed? Is your wording more flexible? And how is the recipient's feedback? Write down two or three observations. This will help you recognize your progress and increase confidence. Guidance: To make appreciative mindset truly part of your character, repetition and daily integration are key. Just like brushing teeth and washing your face, incorporate "praising" into your daily schedule, and you'll reap long-lasting positive effects. Don't forget the principle we mentioned before: praise is the lubricant of communication. When you use a little praise every day to lubricate your interpersonal relationships, you'll find everything around you becomes smoother. People will also enjoy being with you more because you bring them positive energy and appreciation. If today feels ordinary, feel free to praise more people, using all the techniques you've learned (being specific, praising effort, timely congratulations, indirect praise, etc.)—review old lessons to learn new things. In short, make praise as natural as breathing in your daily life!

  • Day 21: Third Week Reflection Task: Coming to the end of the third week, it's time to comprehensively review your praise practice in real social settings. Find a quiet moment to carefully think about who you praised each day over these 7 days, what you said, and the context. Then record your reflections in your journal, including but not limited to: 1) Others' reactions: How did most people react when receiving your praise? Did their smiles, thanks, or surprise make you feel the power of appreciation? Did anyone show impatience or embarrassment? 2) Your own feelings: How did you feel after each praise? Happy, proud, or sometimes a bit embarrassed? As days increased, did your nervousness when praising decrease and your sense of pleasure increase? 3) Relationship changes: During this week, did your interactions with those you praised become more harmonious? For example, did colleagues you rarely spoke with before become friendlier to you this week? Did family members affirm your thoughtfulness more? 4) Difficulties and gains: What type of praise did you find most difficult? And from which experience did you gain the most? For instance, you might discover that praising strangers isn't as hard as you thought and is actually quite fun; or perhaps expressing appreciation to your parents for the first time broke years of silence, bringing your relationship closer. Write down all these observations and feelings—they don't need to be comprehensive, just authentic. Guidance: "Experience is the best teacher." After this week, you've essentially taken an intensive course in interpersonal relationships. Your journal reflection will help you consolidate what you've learned, remembering successful experiences and finding strategies for problems encountered. Reading what you've written, you'll discover how you've changed compared to 30 days ago. Perhaps you've become more daring in expressing your inner feelings, or maybe your perspective more easily focuses on others' strengths now. If there were setbacks, please accept them too—any skill development has its twists and turns. The important thing is that you've persisted in practice until the third week, which is remarkable progress! Give yourself credit, and prepare to welcome even deeper growth in the final stage.

Stage Four: Character Internalization (Days 22-30)

Congratulations on entering the final stage! In the practice of the first three weeks, you've gradually cultivated the habit of appreciating others and praising them. In this final period, we will focus on deepening and consolidating this positive quality, truly internalizing it as part of your character. Through meditation, value connection, positive imagination, and other exercises, you will further enhance your "ability to share joy," making praising others more natural and stable. We will also address some challenges you might face in the future, ensuring that after 30 days, you can confidently carry this positive energy into your future life. Get ready for the final stage of transformation!

  • Day 22: Expanding Shared Joy Meditation Task: Today we again conduct shared joy meditation, this time expanding the goodwill in our hearts, practicing sending appreciative mindset to a wider range of people. Similar to Day 5, find a quiet place to sit, close your eyes, relax, and breathe slowly. In your mind, visualize three different types of people in sequence: First, people you are close to and care about (such as family and friends)—imagine their recent happiness or achievements, genuinely feel happy for them in your heart, and silently recite blessings (e.g., "May you be safe and happy; I rejoice in your happiness"). Second, people you don't know well or feel neutral about (such as neighbors you occasionally meet, service staff, or just someone whose face is familiar)—imagine they are also experiencing good things in life, and even though you don't know the specifics, try to feel joy for their possible happiness and send good wishes (e.g., "May you also have moments of happiness; I send blessings for the happiness of all strangers"). Third, people with whom you've had conflicts or felt uncomfortable (perhaps competitors, tense colleagues, or those who have hurt you in the past)—this may be most challenging. Try to set aside prejudices, tell yourself: "Even if there have been unpleasantries, deep down he/she is an ordinary person longing for happiness." Imagine a scene of their success or joy in some aspect (real or imagined), and try to sincerely be happy for them, sending them goodwill (e.g., "May you be free from troubles and be happy; I am also willing to be happy for your joy."). Throughout the meditation, try to keep your breathing even and your mind peaceful. If it's difficult to feel joy for the third category of people, don't force yourself—you can spend more time on the first two categories and just lightly touch on the third. The meditation should last about 10 minutes. At the end, take a few deep breaths and open your eyes. Guidance: This meditation practice originates from Buddhism's "Four Immeasurables" practice (the "joy" in loving-kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity), aiming to cultivate the heart of shared joy for all beings. It's relatively easy to empathize with the happiness of friends and family; it's a bit harder but still doable for strangers; for those with whom we've had disagreements, truly rejoicing in their happiness requires great magnanimity and goodwill. This is a practice goal, not something achieved overnight. So don't be harsh on yourself about whether you can completely do it—the key is being willing to try expanding your heart's capacity. "When one's heart holds others' goodness, one is also filled with goodwill." You'll find that the more blessings you have in your heart for others, the less room there is for annoyance and jealousy, and your whole being becomes more open-minded and happy. This peaceful, joyful state of mind is the greatest gift that an elevated appreciative mindset brings you.

  • Day 23: Finding Everyone's Bright Spots Task: Today, we further practice the ability to find strengths in everyone. Throughout the day, no matter who you meet—whether family, friends, colleagues, or a delivery person passing by—try to quickly find one praiseworthy bright spot in them. Even just passing someone, you can find something positive based on first impressions, like "she walks confidently" or "his smile is friendly." For familiar people, look for qualities that are easily overlooked. Keep these observations in your heart (and briefly record in your phone notes if necessary). The goal is to find clear strengths in at least 3 people. Ideally include someone you don't usually like or pay much attention to, which will challenge you to break through prejudices and discover their good points. Tonight, select one or two people, and consider genuinely telling them about that strength at an appropriate opportunity, even with a simple "I think you're... pretty good." If face-to-face conversation is difficult, you can write to them or just acknowledge it in your heart. Guidance: "Be like bees collecting honey, only gathering sweetness from each person." Learning to see strengths first in people is a rare quality. Often, we more easily pick out flaws, but deliberately practicing finding strengths can gradually change our perspective. You'll discover that everyone has lovable aspects: perhaps that boss who gives you headaches is actually very responsible; that habitually silent classmate might be extremely reliable. When you can first see bright spots in anyone, your assessment of people becomes more comprehensive and objective, and interpersonal relationships often improve as a result. More importantly, this indicates that your appreciative mindset is no longer targeted at specific individuals but has become a universal attitude. This lays a solid foundation for maintaining the habit of appreciating others long-term.

  • Day 24: Appreciative Self-Projection Task: Today, strengthen your appreciation habit through positive imagination, shaping your future self. In a quiet, relaxed state (you can sit with eyes closed or write with eyes open), imagine yourself a year from now: by then, appreciative mindset has firmly integrated into your character. Envision a specific, realistic scenario, such as attending a friend's gathering or company event a year from now. Describe this scene in as much detail as possible: who is around, what they're doing. In this context, how does "future you" demonstrate appreciation ability? Perhaps you're enthusiastically praising a new friend's talent, sincerely applauding a colleague's achievement, or immediately affirming someone's courage and creativity when they present an idea. You appear poised and natural, with sincere and humorous words, making everyone feel like they're bathed in spring breeze. Imagine others' impression of you: everyone finds you very positive and friendly, feeling reassured in your company. Several people beam with energy from your praise, the scene permeated with a warm atmosphere. This is you a year from now, possessing powerful "appreciation ability" and "joy-sharing ability." Fully play this "future short film" in your mind for about 5 minutes. Then, open your eyes and write down 3-5 strengths or behaviors you saw in your imagined self, such as "I enjoy discovering everyone's strengths and generously praising them," "I make people feel comfortable in social settings," "I have many friends because I appreciate others," and so on. Guidance: Psychological research shows that positive self-image visualization helps behavior change. When you can clearly picture your ideal self, your brain tends to develop in that direction. "First become the person you want to be, then do what that kind of person would do." Today's exercise lets you preview what it looks like when "appreciating others" has become your character trait. Through this projection, you'll strengthen your belief: appreciative mindset isn't just temporary practice but will be a virtue accompanying you throughout life. Improving a little each day, you will eventually become the positive energy-radiating person you aspire to be.

  • Day 25: Appreciation-Style Good Deeds Task: Today, we integrate praise into small acts of kindness. That is, beyond verbal appreciation, add a practical action to help or support others, thereby amplifying the effect of praise. You can choose one of the following methods based on your life: 1) Publicly give positive feedback: for example, praise someone's contribution in a social media post or colleague group chat, or give a 5-star review with appreciative comments to a service staff who has consistently provided good service; 2) Help others and praise simultaneously: notice who needs help around you (bring coffee to a colleague working late, help a neighbor carry something heavy), and while lending a hand, say an encouraging word (like "you always help me too, I really admire your warm-heartedness, this small favor is nothing"); 3) Handwrite a thank-you note: write a note or small card to someone you want to thank and praise, personally delivering it, for example "I sincerely thank you for your support recently; you're very thorough and reliable, and I'm happy working with you." Choose a method you like and perform an act of kindness accompanied by a word of praise. The focus is on expressing your appreciation and gratitude through practical action. Guidance: When we put praise into action, its power becomes more profound. Words sometimes drift away with the wind, but the impression left by actions is more lasting. "Actions speak louder than words, and praise can also be a kind of action." Today's exercise will let you experience that praise isn't just about speaking but also about giving. Your positive feedback might make a service worker more enthusiastic about their job; your help and praise might warm a colleague's heart. Give roses, and fragrance lingers on your hands. When you convey praise through good deeds, you'll also feel intense satisfaction, seeing your kindness truly helping and inspiring others. This is a higher-level emotional reward brought by appreciative mindset, which also injects motivation for you to continue this virtue.

  • Day 26: Value Alignment Task: Today, please reflect on the connection between appreciative mindset and your personal values. In other words, find the meaning of praising others within your life philosophy. Take out your journal and write down your thoughts on the following questions: 1) "Which values that I cherish does 'praising others' align with?" Possibly kindness, generosity, gratitude, cooperation, sincerity, etc.; 2) "What kind of person am I becoming through practicing appreciative mindset?" For example, a more generous, more positive person, someone seen as more supportive by friends, etc.; 3) "How does this change make me feel about myself?" Is it closer to your ideal self? Please answer each question with a few sentences, being as specific as possible. From these answers, distill a self-affirmation statement, such as "Praising others makes me a better person; it embodies my cherished value of ____." Write down this sentence. Guidance: When our actions align with core values, we experience strong satisfaction and peace of mind. This alignment can make new habits persist long-term. Think carefully—the reason you've invested time practicing appreciative mindset must align with your values somewhere. "Ask yourself: What does this mean to me?" Finding the answer, you'll find an endless source of inner motivation. For instance, if you identify with "helping others," then encouraging others through praise is indeed a form of helping; if you value "sincerity," learning to praise from the heart resonates with your quality of honesty. By elevating praise to the value level, you'll cherish your changes during this period more, because you're not completing a task but practicing being a person who aligns with your beliefs. Through today's deep reflection, I hope you'll more firmly continue appreciative mindset as a lifelong cultivation.

  • Day 27: Sharing Your Experience Task: Today, please share your gains on the path of appreciative mindset with others. Choose a trusted friend or family member and chat with them about the practices and insights you've been doing these days. You can tell them why you started this 30-day practice, what interesting discoveries or changes you've experienced, such as now finding it easier to notice others' strengths and not finding it as difficult to praise people as before. You can also share one or two stories that left a deep impression (like the experience of praising a stranger, how they reacted, how you felt). If they're interested, you can even teach them one or two praise techniques you found particularly useful (such as being specific when praising), or invite them to try praising those around them together. When we pass on what we've learned to others, we not only help them but also deepen our own understanding. If there's no suitable person for face-to-face conversation at the moment, you can also choose to write a social media post or blog, sharing your experience and insights in writing. The key is to be sincere and straightforward—no need to exaggerate; just describe your real changes. This is both a summary for yourself and spreading seeds of kindness to more people. Guidance: "Teaching benefits teachers and students alike." Telling others about your growth journey is actually a process of sorting through yourself and reinforcing your gains. When you see friends inspired by your story, perhaps also beginning to notice the power of praise, you'll feel genuine satisfaction and pride. Appreciative mindset is a positive energy; sharing this concept with others is itself a praiseworthy act. Meanwhile, discussing your changes with loved ones often brings you more affirmation and support, further strengthening your confidence. You'll realize: you've already come a long way and have also influenced those around you. This influence precisely reflects your improved social skills. Speak up boldly—your story has more power than you imagine.

  • Day 28: Handling Awkwardness and Challenges Task: Despite your considerable expertise, there will inevitably be times in reality when praise encounters setbacks or feels uncomfortable. Today, let's proactively think of strategies for these potential awkward situations and challenges. First, review this month—was there any time when praising someone felt a bit awkward? Perhaps the person was silent, didn't know how to respond, or you later worried whether your praise was appropriate? Or are there still situations where you're hesitant to praise, such as facing someone much more senior than you, or a former "opponent"? Select the most impressive challenging scenario among these, and briefly describe on paper: the situation, your feelings, and the other person's reaction (if any). Next, using what you've learned and your current understanding, write down what you could do next time in a similar situation. This could be improving the method of praise, adjusting your mindset, or preparing some response statements. Here are some common scenarios for reference: 1) The other person is very modest or self-deprecating: "No, I'm very ordinary." —you can prepare to respond: "No, you really are great; I can't help but praise you!" with a humorous yet firm tone, letting them feel your recognition; 2) You feel a bit jealous but still need to praise: Honestly face your emotions, tell yourself that others' excellence doesn't affect you, and good qualities deserve recognition. Or simply say candidly: "Although I wish I had your achievements too, I'm even happier for you!" transforming jealousy into shared joy; 3) Afraid of seeming deliberate when praising superiors or elders: Choose more objective content to praise, and adopt a respectful and sincere tone, such as "The suggestion you made last time was very practical and taught me a lot." Most elders/superiors would be happy to hear recognition from subordinates/juniors, as long as it's substantive and won't be seen as flattery. Write down the scenario you want to address and the prepared words/mindset adjustment methods. Finally, remind yourself again: occasional awkwardness doesn't mean failure—each situation is an experience, and you already have the wisdom to handle various challenges. Guidance: No one is born a communication expert; the "art" of praising others also requires continuous practice and adjustment. In fact, even if there have been some small awkward moments, it proves you've bravely tried, which is commendable! The important thing is to learn from them, not be scared away. "Forewarned is forearmed." When you have strategies for tricky situations, your path of appreciation will be smoother and more stable. Please believe that the current you can already view these ups and downs with equanimity and find solutions. After 28 days of tempering, you are fully capable of handling appreciative mindset in various settings. Keep today's record; when you encounter similar difficulties in the future, refer to it, and you'll know what to do.

  • Day 29: Harvest and Gratitude Task: The penultimate day has arrived; it's time to take stock of your journey's harvest. Please prepare a paper and spend 10 minutes writing an "Appreciative Mindset Growth List". List the positive changes and achievements you've gained since the course began, both internal and external. Try to describe them specifically and positively. For example: "Now I'm accustomed to seeing the good in others first," "I no longer withhold praise, daring to express appreciation," "My relationship with ___ has become more harmonious," "My mentality is more sunny, with less jealousy and comparison," "I'm more confident and outgoing in social settings," etc. List at least 5 items; more is better if you can think of them. Then, look at this list and feel the fullness and satisfaction in your heart—these are all gifts you've given yourself through 30 days of effort. Next, write a short paragraph of gratitude. The content includes: thanking yourself for persisting through the practice, overcoming initial discomfort; thanking those who gave you opportunities or feedback during your practice, such as friends, colleagues who accepted your praise, whose presence provided a platform for practice; you can also thank the opportunity or material that inspired this plan (even this course itself). Through this gratitude, conclude your growth journey perfectly. Meanwhile, a grateful heart will make your praise more humble and sincere. After writing, read your list and gratitude statement aloud, acknowledging your achievements. Guidance: "Learn to appreciate others, but don't forget to appreciate yourself." The incremental progress over 29 days has converged into who you are now; this list is the best proof. No matter how modest or small the changes listed may seem, they're worthy of pride, because most people don't improve themselves as earnestly as you have. Gratitude is not just outward but also inward—completing 30 days of training demonstrates your determination and perseverance. Give yourself a hug, thanking yourself for being willing to grow. When you realize how many positive changes have already occurred, your belief in appreciative mindset will be stronger, filled with confidence for tomorrow and every day after.

  • Day 30: Celebration and Vision Task: Congratulations, you've successfully completed 30 days of appreciative mindset practice! 🎉 Today there's no other task, just celebration and vision. First, seriously reward yourself. You've invested time and effort this month, deserving a reward. It could be a small gift to yourself, a nice meal, or simply taking half a day to rest and have fun. The important thing is to enjoy with a positive reason: "This is the reward I'm giving myself for persisting with 30 days of practice." After celebrating, find a comfortable environment and write a forward-looking letter to yourself (or a passage). To whom? Write to your future self, perhaps six months from now, or a year later. In the letter, you can write: "I hope you continue to maintain..." "Don't forget what you learned in these 30 days..." "Promise me, no matter how the environment changes, you will always..." Write down everything you want to tell your future self about continuing appreciative mindset, in a tone that can be gentle or firm, like chatting with an old friend. After writing, keep this letter safe, agreeing to open and read it at your specified time. Finally, spend a few minutes standing in front of a mirror, smiling and praising the person in the mirror. Yes, these 30 days you've been praising others, but today, please sincerely praise yourself! For instance, look at yourself and say: "You're really great, completing 30 days of persistence and change! Your kindness and thoughtfulness are admirable." These words might not normally be said to you, but today you completely deserve such praise. Fully celebrate your growth! Guidance: Today is a day of joy and pride. You can compare who you were initially with who you are now, telling yourself with satisfaction: "I did it!" Through 30 days of effort, you've cultivated the habit of genuinely appreciating others, which not only benefits those around you but also makes you happier and more fulfilled. This positive change won't abruptly end on day 30 but will become a new chapter in your life. In the days ahead, I hope you continue applying what you've learned, letting the flower of appreciative mindset bloom perennially. You'll find that when praising others becomes natural, the already beautiful you will become even more radiant, and interpersonal relationships will become more harmonious and smooth. Please carry this harvest forward, continuing to spread kindness and appreciation in life. Whenever you treat others kindly, the whole world treats you kindly too. Congratulations again on your persistence! May you continue to resonate with others' happiness in every future day, living a life full of joy, friendliness, and confidence. Keep going!

Rick Rubin's The Creative Act: A Way of Being

· 37 min read

Introduction: Creativity as a Way of Being

In "The Creative Act: A Way of Being," Rick Rubin proposes that creativity is not the privilege of a few geniuses, but an instinct inherent in everyone. He believes that we all create every day—whether through a conversation with friends, a new approach to solving a problem, or rearranging a room—these actions that "bring into existence something that didn't exist before" are all forms of creation. Therefore, Rubin emphasizes that "everyone is a creator"; creativity is a basic attribute and gift of being human. It is not limited to the artistic realm but is part of our daily lives. As the title suggests, Rubin views the creative process as a way of being: creativity is not just about the artwork itself, but about how we perceive the world and participate in life. He uses "creativity" as a key to unlock broader possibilities in life, making creation a way to enhance the experience of living.

Rubin's writing is full of philosophical thoughts, like a hopeful creative manifesto. The book consists of 78 thematic fragments, each exploring different aspects of creativity. These fragments address both the spiritual philosophy of creation, such as the source of creativity and the cultivation of consciousness, as well as practical guidance, such as the stages of creation and habit formation. Below, the main content and viewpoints of the book are organized by theme.

The Source of Creativity and "Tuning"

Rubin believes that the source of creativity does not originate from within us, but exists in the universal wisdom around us. This "source" can be viewed as an infinite reservoir of inspiration, containing everything we see, hear, and feel, as well as various elements from the human collective unconscious. Creative ideas are like seeds floating in the ether, waiting to be caught and embodied by the right creator. In other words, each of us is an antenna for the universe's creative messages; artists are not active commanders giving orders, but "receivers" being commanded. If a certain creative idea doesn't manifest through you, it may find another vessel—inspiration has its appropriate timing, and we are merely channels serving universal messages.

To receive the inspiration bestowed by the source, the key lies in "tuning" oneself to align with those subtle yet rich signals. This requires cultivating open receptivity: like tuning a radio frequency, adjusting our minds to quietly listen to inspiration's "whispers." Rubin points out that the revelations from the source are often as faint as whispers, only audible when the mind is calm. Therefore, he emphasizes that relaxing the mind and reducing subjective effort are very important for enhancing the ability to receive inspiration: "To hear a whisper, the mind must be quiet." Excessive effort can interfere with inspiration, just as splashing in a pond only stirs up mud, disturbing the clear water. By quieting the mind through methods like meditation, we are more likely to capture those subtle signals from the source. When we welcome inspiration with an open mind, it appears as a gift, rather than something forcefully seized.

The book uses many images to illustrate this point. For example, the metaphors of "antenna" and "frequency" depict how creators resonate with universal creativity; the cyclical metaphor of "white clouds and rainwater" explains how creative energy circulates in the world like the water cycle, with various forms of artistic creation being different manifestations of this energy—no two works are exactly the same. Rubin encourages readers to approach the world with a childlike heart, maintaining curiosity and wonder to avoid rigid rational thinking that might obscure the light from the source. This childlike open-mindedness helps us synchronize with the greater natural rhythm and follow the seasons of inspiration. When we tune ourselves into a receptive state without forcing control, the seeds of creativity will naturally sprout at the appropriate time.

Awareness and Observation: Expanding Perception

Awareness, in Rubin's view, is a gift that allows us to observe the world without attachment, noticing the subtleties of the present moment—whether sounds and smells received by the senses, or thoughts and feelings that flash through the mind. This awareness is not tense focus, but a conscious relaxation, a kind of "open and non-judgmental attention" to the present. By cultivating awareness, we broaden our range of perception of the world, and the universe we inhabit subjectively becomes richer and more expansive—"the size of the universe depends on our ability to perceive it." In other words, what we notice determines how much creative material we have.

Rubin provides specific methods for cultivating awareness, such as practicing becoming an "observer": observing one's thoughts, emotions, and surroundings without judgment. This means placing oneself in the position of a bystander, watching thoughts arise and pass away without rushing to analyze or intervene. Through this practice of inner observation, we gradually learn to remain silent about the noise in our minds, thereby hearing clearer sounds from the external world. He also suggests alternating between practicing expanded attention and focusing on details: first perceiving all the sounds, lights, and atmosphere of the environment as a whole, then focusing on a subtle detail (such as the feeling of a breeze against the skin), repeatedly stretching our sensory "muscles" to enable the mind to both grasp the big picture and attend to fine details. This practice trains our perceptual flexibility, allowing us to magnify our sensitivity to the world when needed. Rubin views this awareness practice as a form of mindfulness cultivation (or "consciousness training"), which requires patience but avoids forcing—"replacing control with acceptance", making the soil of creation more fertile by letting things take their natural course.

By enhancing awareness, we discover the extraordinary in the ordinary: many clues to inspiration are actually "right before our eyes." The chapter "Look for Clues" emphasizes that clues to creativity are everywhere in daily life, just waiting for keen observers to discover them. Whether a fragment of conversation heard on the street or a leaf in nature, anything can trigger associations and become the starting point for creation. Therefore, creators should be like detectives, paying attention to all the signs around them, capturing the beginnings of creativity from details. Rubin also mentions "Nature as Teacher": nature contains endless inspiration—the changing seasons, growing trees, rising and falling waves, these natural rhythms all reflect the creative laws of the universe. Creators can understand the rhythm and laws of creativity by observing nature. For example, he points out that trees bloom in the appropriate season, which is nature's creative act. Similarly, human creation also has its timing and cycles—it cannot be forced, it can only "blossom and bear fruit" at the right time.

In summary, through the practice of awareness, we learn to integrate into the present with the mindset of an observer, opening ourselves to become vessels for inspiration. This open attention, both inward and outward, enables us to discover extraordinary creative sparks from seemingly ordinary life.

Vessel and Filter: The Creator's Inner Channel

In Rubin's concept, each creator is a vessel of inspiration, while also possessing a unique filter. When inspiration from the source enters our "vessel," it is filtered through our experiences, values, aesthetic tastes, etc., before being output as a work. In other words, our creations come from universal inspiration, yet bear our personal imprint. This explains why different artists create stylistically distinct works even when inspired by the same theme—it's due to their different filters.

However, filters are not perfect. Rubin points out that not all information we encounter passes through our inner filter, and not all content that passes through is faithfully preserved. Our memories may distort, our understanding may be partial, so the material received from the source has often been transformed in our minds. When creators realize this, they understand that the world in each person's eyes is a subjectively constructed reality. As Rubin says, we obtain raw, undifferentiated material from the outside world through our sensory organs and organize it into meaningful pictures in our brains. Therefore, we "create" our own reality—this process itself is a profound act of creation. From this perspective, our daily experience and understanding of reality is precisely the accumulation of material for artistic creation. What we see and hear, our memories and subconscious images, all settle in our hearts, becoming the nourishment for inspiration.

The book discusses in many places the influence of memory and the subconscious on creation (chapter "Memories and the Subconscious"). Rubin believes that countless materials we're not aware of in daily consciousness are stored in the subconscious—those forgotten memories, fragments of dreams, are often the undercurrents of creativity. "Look Inward" reminds creators to make good use of resources deep within—bringing hidden thoughts to the conscious level through meditation, self-reflection, or free association, giving them new life. In his view, consciously exploring oneself is like digging for treasure in one's own vessel.

Rubin describes the source of creativity as being everywhere, "It's Always There." Even if we temporarily cannot feel inspiration, it doesn't mean creativity has disappeared; more likely, our receiving channel is blocked by distractions or not yet well-tuned. Once we clear the internal interference and adjust the frequency, the signal from the source can emerge again at any time. So he encourages creators to maintain confidence: the flow of inspiration is always flowing in the background; what we need to do is become a clearer channel, allowing this flow to take form through us.

This concept also inspires us to value the cultivation of internal states. The creator's body and mind are the carriers of creativity; mood, emotions, and mental state directly affect our ability to receive and express inspiration. Therefore, Rubin emphasizes that taking care of our physical and mental health and maintaining a keen and open consciousness is an integral part of the creative process. This is a cultivation of the "creator's way": polishing ourselves to become more transparent vessels, and constantly adjusting our filters to faithfully yet uniquely convey messages from the source.

Creative Practice and Daily Cultivation

Although inspiration comes from the universal source, Rubin also repeatedly emphasizes the importance of practice. Creativity needs to be exercised regularly like a muscle; habitual practice helps us enter the creative state more steadily. The "Practice" chapter points out that while inspiration is precious, sustained practice is what transforms fleeting flashes of insight into mature works. He encourages creators to establish daily creative rituals or habits, engaging in creation regularly whether inspiration strikes or not. It is through regular creative practice that we demonstrate our sincerity and readiness to the source, so we can firmly grasp inspiration when it comes.

Immersion in Classics and Quality Input

Rubin mentions a method to enhance creative taste and vision: "submerge in great works." He says we can consciously choose high-quality inputs to enrich our creativity, for example:

  • Reading literary classics rather than browsing news daily. If you persist for a year, you will develop a more acute appreciation, recognizing greatness from books, rather than letting fast-food-style information bombard and shape your taste.
  • Watching film masterpieces, listening to famous music pieces, appreciating paintings by master artists, getting close to universally recognized great works in various fields. These classic works, though without a fixed list, have stood the test of time and invite us, inspiring our desire for beauty and possibility. Contact with great works can "calibrate" our internal standards for excellence, allowing us to make higher-quality choices in future creations.
  • Broadening the scope of life: choosing beneficial friend circles and conversation topics, even being mindful of what we contemplate. Rubin points out that the people we associate with, the topics we discuss, and even the thoughts we often contemplate in our minds all affect our ability to distinguish "good" from "great." Since attention and time are limited, we should carefully select the information we allow into our minds to nurture the creative soil within.

By consciously immersing ourselves in excellent nourishment, we not only won't lose our own style, but are actually cultivating a higher aesthetic baseline. Rubin emphasizes that the purpose of doing this is not to imitate masters, but to train our vision and taste. When we absorb the essence, we can make more appropriate choices in our thousands of creative decisions, eventually perhaps creating our own great works.

Creative Environment and Inspiration Channels

Environment (Setting) is also crucial for creators. Rubin uses a chapter on "environment" to specifically discuss the importance of creating clear channels for receiving inspiration. He points out that the suitable creative environment varies for each person and needs to be experimented with according to individual characteristics and creative intentions. In remote and quiet places (such as forests, temples, lonely boats at sea), people often find it easier to receive direct signals from the universe because there are fewer external disturbances and less internal noise. In such isolated environments, our connection with the source seems purer. However, if your creation aims to reflect common human experiences, then being in busy and noisy places (city streets, cafes) also has value—there, you experience the source filtered through humanity. This indirect method of obtaining inspiration is equally effective: the myriad aspects of life flowing in public places can be seen as creative signals emitted by the universe through crowds. Rubin even says that a further approach is to actively embrace contemporary culture: continuously experiencing popular art, entertainment, news, social media, and noting the pulse of the times revealed in them. By delving into culture itself, we can perceive "what forms the universe is currently promoting," thereby standing at the forefront of creative trends.

In summary, Rubin suggests that creators choose and adjust their environment according to their needs: either moving away from the hustle and bustle to empty the mind, or immersing in the flow of people to gain collective inspiration. Regardless of the method, the purpose is to create a space that allows us to connect smoothly with the creative source. Environment refers not only to geographical location, but also to time and rhythm. For example, some people have inspiration flowing at midnight, while others have the clearest minds in the morning. Rubin suggests trying to change daily routines or habits to find the rhythm that best matches one's inspiration pattern. For instance, if you always feel stuck writing at the same time, try a different time period; or if you usually create alone, occasionally invite others to observe, see how your work changes when "there is an observer present." Rubin points out that even if your art form is not a live performance, such as writing or cooking, having an audience present will change the presentation of your work. These changes may bring new perspectives and inspiration.

Finally, Rubin emphasizes the importance of avoiding distraction for entering the "flow" state of creation. Modern life is full of various interruptions (phones, internet, chores) that can break our connection with the source of inspiration. Therefore, creators need to learn to make time and space without disturbances, focusing completely on creation. He also understands that completely isolating oneself from distractions is unrealistic, so a more practical approach is to enhance self-discipline and focus: for example, turning off communication devices during creative periods, or carrying an inspiration notebook at all times to prevent good ideas from being scattered by later complex affairs. The cultivation of various daily small habits is all about creating favorable conditions for the descent of creativity.

Creative Mindset: Openness, Curiosity, and Paradox

Beyond external practice, Rubin delves into the psychological states and mindset needed by creators. In his view, a creative mindset includes many qualities that seem contradictory yet are equally important: being both open and critical, maintaining childlike curiosity while accepting complex contradictions. The book explains these concepts through many themes:

  • Beginner's Mind: Rubin advocates approaching creation with a beginner's attitude, maintaining curiosity and humility even in familiar fields. Observing and trying "as if for the first time" can avoid the inertia and prejudices brought by experience, allowing us to discover new possibilities. This mindset keeps creators in a continuous mode of learning and exploration, avoiding self-repetition.

  • Openness & Curiosity: Creativity requires keeping an open mind, not rushing to judge the goodness or badness of ideas. Rubin suggests accepting all thoughts that come at the beginning of creation (this is also what he emphasizes in the "seed stage"—collecting ideas without screening), following each interesting thought with playful curiosity. Don't close any door too early, because you cannot predict which path will lead to surprises.

  • Patience: Inspiration and creative development have their natural rhythm; the chapter "Nothing Is Static" reminds us that everything is evolving. Sometimes an idea needs time to mature; forcing it will only be counterproductive. Rubin encourages creators to be patient with the development of their work, like a gardener patiently waiting for seeds to sprout. At the same time, trust the process: the effort and time invested now will feed back into creation in unexpected ways in the future.

  • Make It Up: This theme encourages creators to boldly invent and fantasize. Rubin's view is: even if you feel you lack understanding of a subject, don't hesitate to "make it up." This is not to encourage dishonesty, but to promote using imagination to fill in the unknown. Creation allows transcending the limitations of reality; "inventing" a certain reality in art often leads us to true emotions and insights. Therefore, when stuck somewhere, rather than remaining stagnant, use creative imagination to continue forward.

  • Follow Intuition, Try Everything: Rubin advocates conducting numerous experiments in the creative process, exploring all possibilities without limitations. In his view, the process of experimentation itself is a creative game: changing perspectives, trying opposite approaches, breaking conventional combinations, all may bring surprises. For example, if a certain practice has become a habit, try its opposite; if an idea seems absurd, perhaps it's worth trying. This approach of maintaining a playful attitude in experimentation can spark inspiration and fill the work with vitality. As Rubin says: "Let the seed grow toward the sunlight along its own path; now is not the time to judge, leave some space for magic first." Maintaining this open experimental attitude allows creative sparks to collide.

  • Rules & The Opposite is True: The book points out that there are no absolute rules to follow in artistic creation. Rubin acknowledges that rules and techniques have their value; they are often summaries of previous experiences, and "temporary rules" can help us progress in a project. However, he also reminds us not to be bound by rules, because creativity often appears at moments when norms are broken. The chapter "The Opposite Is True" emphasizes a point: in art, the opposite of every truth is often equally true. That is, for any successful artistic method, taking the opposite approach may also succeed. Great art often challenges existing principles, fusing seemingly contradictory elements. Therefore, creators need to learn to balance between rules and freedom: mastering skills yet daring to question them. When you find yourself stuck in a certain mindset, remind yourself: "Perhaps the opposite is also true."

  • Expect a Surprise: This theme continues the importance of an open mindset. Rubin advises creators to welcome unexpected events in the process. Many times, the work itself will "tell" us what it needs, rather than developing strictly according to expectations. Embracing flexibility, being ready for surprises, can allow the work to grow beyond our initial conception. Conversely, if we have "Great Expectations" that are too high or too specific, we may be disappointed with the actual results, even stifling the organic evolution of creativity. Therefore, it is advisable to have expectations in creation but not preset specific results, leaving space for change.

The creative mindset Rubin describes seems to contain many contradictions: both following intuition and not fearing to overturn conventions, both waiting patiently and daring to try quickly. In fact, this is precisely the fascinating aspect of creativity—it is not a linear logical process, but more like a dynamic balance. Artists need to freely switch between different mindsets: having childlike curiosity when it's time to diverge, using experience and judgment when it's time to converge; being passionate yet maintaining a measure of detached clarity. It is in this tension of mindset that creativity can emerge endlessly.

Collaboration, Influence, and Self-Transcendence

Although creation is often viewed as an individual activity, Rubin emphasizes the enormous value of collaboration and community for creativity. In the "Collaboration" chapter, he mentions that working with others can expand areas beyond our own reach. The collision of different creators often sparks new ideas and compensates for individual abilities. For example, in music production, someone good at melody can collaborate with someone skilled in rhythm, producing works that neither could complete alone. Openly sharing ideas with others and accepting others' ideas into our work can make the work richer. However, he also reminds that in collaboration, the common goal should be to serve the work, keeping communication sincere and specific. When giving feedback, opinions that are specific and focused on the work itself are most constructive—"When sharing observations, being detailed leaves space, reduces emotional opposition, allowing us to serve the work together." Conversely, vague or personally oriented feedback easily triggers defensive psychology, which is not conducive to creation.

The concept of non-competition is consistent with collaboration. Rubin believes that the artistic field should not be like an arena of competition. Each creator has their own unique journey and expression, not a substitute relationship. He encourages artists to focus on self-improvement rather than comparing with others. Creativity is not a scarce resource; others' success does not reduce your possibilities—on the contrary, it adds wealth to humanity's artistic treasury. With this mindset, we can more openly share and collaborate with peers, rather than being wary. As the book says, the personal is universal; the more your sincere work bears your personal stamp, the more it will resonate universally; therefore, there is no need to replicate others' models. Rather than competing, focus on excavating your unique perspective.

Speaking of sincerity, Rubin acknowledges that creators sometimes face a dilemma: on one hand wanting to maintain the sincerity and personal expression of the work, on the other hand fearing that an overly exposed heart will not be understood (this is what the book calls "The Sincerity Dilemma"). To this, Rubin's advice always leans toward being true to oneself. He quotes psychologist Carl Rogers: "The personal is universal"—it is the creator's most personalized true feelings that give art value and meaning. When we try to please everyone, hiding our true voice, the work instead loses its vitality. Rubin emphasizes that what's most important in art is our ideas and stance, rather than technical perfection. As long as we share our inner real perspective without concealment, we are practicing the fundamental purpose of art. Sincere work may not be accepted by everyone, but it will surely find an audience that resonates with it, because humans are essentially connected. The resonance of art comes from seeing a part of ourselves understood and expressed. Therefore, he encourages creators to bravely face the vulnerability of sincerity: even if some people don't understand, it just means the right audience hasn't been found yet.

Regarding influence and sources of inspiration, Rubin advocates borrowing with respect rather than simply imitating. He says to distinguish between "imitation" and "inspiration": appreciating others' masterpieces is meant to inspire us to improve our own creation, not to copy. Every artist stands on the shoulders of predecessors, but must eventually walk their own path. Rubin also talks about the seemingly contradictory concept of "Connected Detachment", meaning that creators should establish deep emotional connections with their work, but not be bound by the success or failure of results. Maintaining a bit of detachment can keep us focused on creation itself when facing setbacks or success, rather than indulging in emotions. This mindset allows us to both fully engage and transcend ourselves, always serving art.

"The Gatekeeper" theme discusses judgment mechanisms, both internal and external. The internal "gatekeeper" refers to our inner critic, who prematurely screens and stifles ideas. Rubin suggests first asking the gatekeeper to leave at the beginning of creation, allowing various thoughts to emerge as much as possible, without immediately judging their goodness or badness; when it's time to edit and refine, then let the rational gatekeeper come in to help trim. External "gatekeepers" refer to reviewers in the industry (publishers, reviewers, etc.) who may have selection criteria for works. Rubin encourages creators not to cater too much to these external standards, but to believe in the value of their own art. If the outside world temporarily doesn't accept it, one can look for alternative paths or self-publish; there are always audiences waiting for authentic voices.

Through collaboration, openness, and a mindset beyond competition, Rubin depicts a healthy creative ecology: creators support each other, gain inspiration from others yet develop unique styles, jointly raising the overall artistic level. This is a "greater self" perspective, viewing individual creativity within the long river of human culture. When creators put down the obsession with the small self, investing in creation both humbly and confidently, they enter a higher realm of creation.

Four Stages of Creation: Seed, Experimentation, Crafting, and Completion

In the book, Rubin broadly divides the creative process into four stages: Seed Stage, Experimentation Stage, Crafting Stage, and Completion Stage. These four stages are not rigid processes, but generalizations of the natural evolution of creative projects. Understanding these stages helps creators identify where their work is and adopt corresponding mindsets and strategies.

  1. Seed StageCollecting and Nurturing Ideas: In this initial stage, creators focus on discovering as many creative seeds as possible. "Seeds" can be any fragments or sparks that inspire—a melody, a rhythm, a witty phrase, a composition of an image, a concept or imagery, etc. Rubin emphasizes that at this stage, there is no need to judge or screen ideas for merit; just collect and record in large quantities. He compares this process to casting a fishing line into the universe, waiting for fish to bite. What creators need to do is open their senses and minds, keenly capturing any thought that catches their attention, and recording it promptly. No matter how ordinary or strange an idea seems, it's worth collecting, because sometimes the smallest, most ordinary seeds grow into the largest trees. In short, this stage is about sowing broadly, with a curious and open mindset planting seeds, accumulating a rich material library for subsequent creation.

  2. Experimentation StageExploration and Play: When a certain amount of seeds have been collected, creation enters a period of experimentation and exploration. At this time, creators select the seeds that excite them most and try to expand them. Excitement is the best guide for selecting seeds: which idea makes your eyes light up, makes you can't help but want to delve deeper, this is worth developing first. In the experimental stage, try different versions and possibilities freely. Rubin encourages creators to approach experiments with a game-like mindset: try turning ideas upside down, or joining two seemingly unrelated ideas, or interpreting the same material in different styles, "trying everything" without being restricted by existing rules. The key is to explore without limitations at this stage, allowing intuition and chance to guide direction, also allowing mistakes and digressions. Rubin describes this as a free and surprising stage: give seeds sunshine and water, let them grow in their own direction; temporarily set aside critical thinking, leave space for magic to appear. During experimentation, works begin to take shape, some ideas may grow rapidly, while others may hit walls and be abandoned. But all of this is normal—the meaning of experimentation is to find the most viable creative path.

  3. Crafting StageFocus and Construction: After a period of unrestricted experimentation, creators will gradually find that the direction of the work becomes clear: certain elements work, core themes or forms emerge. At this point, there is a natural transition to the "crafting" stage. In this stage, the mindset shifts from open divergence to focused convergence. Rubin describes: once the "code of the seed" is cracked, creators seem to have a revelation, knowing what the work really wants to become, and the creative process enters the labor of construction. The crafting stage requires the use of skills, analysis, and judgment to select, process, and perfect the materials produced in the previous stage. This is often the most challenging part of creation, as it involves a lot of detail scrutiny and repeated revisions, while preventing the work from becoming mediocre or deviating from the original intention. Rubin reminds that crafting should be viewed as another form of "play"—though it requires discipline and effort, joy and a sense of achievement can still be found, viewing each improvement as a step toward making the work more perfect.

    In the crafting stage, introducing collaborators can often be effective. For example, music works at this point might invite producers or arrangers, films might be edited or reshot, and literary works might seek opinions from editors or trusted critics. External perspectives can help discover blind spots or provide professional skill support. However, Rubin also cautions not to return to the experimental stage too early. Some creators, when encountering difficulties in crafting, want to make major changes or keep experimenting indefinitely, which may cause the work to remain forever in a half-finished state. Persisting to complete the initial vision is very important; even if the crafting stage is sometimes arduous and tedious, progress must be pushed forward. Maintaining momentum is one of the keys to this stage: avoid delaying too long, lest the work becomes stagnant and loses vitality. Moderate deadlines and goals can help us focus on completing this "project."

  4. Completion StageRefinement and Release: When the work is basically formed, it enters the final stage. Rubin views the completion stage as a kind of final refinement. At this time, the creator's task is to elevate the work to its final presentable form, then let go and bring it to the world. Specifically, this means making final polishes and revisions, resolving remaining detail issues, making the work as clear and powerful as possible in expression. Meanwhile, Rubin suggests introducing fresh perspectives to examine the work. This can be achieved by resting for a period before looking back, or by inviting several audience members/readers to provide feedback. It's important to note that the main purpose of seeking feedback is to listen to the work with new ears, not to let others make decisions for you. Through others' reactions, we can discover problem points that we overlook out of habit. As revisions come to an end, creators also face the decision of when to declare completion. Rubin reminds that completion does not mean absolute perfection, but finding an appropriate time to "let go." When you and the work achieve synchronous resonance, that's the moment to send it out and begin a new journey. Delaying too long might cause the creation to deteriorate or enthusiasm to cool. Finally, with the mindset of "gifting a spiritual memento to the world," creators should decisively publish the work, then continue lightly on to the next creation.

Rubin's four-stage model is not a strictly linear process; creators may move back and forth between stages. For instance, during crafting, they might find a place needing new ideas, possibly returning to the experimental mode to generate new material; or during the completion stage, they might discover overall structural issues, retreating to crafting for adjustments. Therefore, this is a flexible cycle rather than a rigid process. However, these four states help us understand different aspects of creation: from free ideation, to bold experimentation, to meticulous crafting, and finally to finalizing and releasing. Adjusting the mindset appropriately at each stage: being open and inclusive when sowing and experimenting, being focused and decisive when crafting and completing—this way, inspiration can be nurtured without stifling, and works can be realized. Rubin believes that awareness of these stages can prevent creators from losing direction, providing support when discipline is needed and space when freedom is needed.

Advancing Work and Overcoming Obstacles

In the creative process, various obstacles and challenges are inevitable. Rubin provides advice from multiple angles to help creators maintain motivation and push work toward completion.

  • Maintaining Momentum: As mentioned before, continuous driving force is very important for creation. Rubin warns that delays and interruptions can make works "cool down" or even become rigid. Therefore, when feeling smooth, try to do more in one go; when encountering difficulties, don't completely halt, but temporarily skip the stuck parts, complete other easier parts first, then return to solve the difficult points. He gives an example: if stuck with 10 songs when recording an album, focus on 2 of them first. When the task becomes more manageable, building confidence by completing a part, then gradually advancing the rest. This method of breaking down tasks, driving the whole through partial completion, can effectively avoid losing motivation due to overwhelming workload. Each small goal completed gives creators positive feedback, forming a virtuous cycle.

  • Breaking the Sameness: When works enter the middle to late stages, creators easily fall into a certain inertia, causing works to lack variation and freshness. Rubin reminds to be alert to monotony in creation. If the work feels formulaic or dull, actively introduce changes: for instance, change the rhythm, add a completely different element, or switch narrative perspectives, etc. Such breakthrough moves can often inject new life into the work, freeing it from sameness. In music production, this might manifest as adding an unexpected bridge in the arrangement; in writing, it could be interspersing chapters with different styles amid steady narration. In short, when creation feels too smooth, try throwing in a stone to create ripples, don't let the work fall into sameness and mediocrity.

  • The Abundant Mindset: Rubin emphasizes that creators should have an "inexhaustible" mindset toward inspiration and creativity, rather than clinging to certain ideas out of a mindset of scarcity. Don't fear depleting inspiration, nor cling to good ideas already used. Instead, believe that creativity is like a never-drying wellspring; use one idea and new ones will emerge. This abundant mindset helps us dare to make choices: when certain parts of creation are unsuitable, we can decisively abandon or redo them, because you believe better ideas are always ahead. When the entire work is completed, we can also calmly let go, because you know there will be more works waiting for you to create in the future. A scarcity mindset, on the other hand, leads to excessive attachment to certain works or ideas, unable to move forward. Rubin hopes that all creators can take the abundance of the universe as their belief, not hesitating to share and output their creativity, the more you use, the more you have.

  • Internal Types: Explorer vs. Finisher: Some people naturally tend toward endless exploration, while others excel at quick completion. Rubin discusses these two types of creators in the chapter "The Experimenter and the Finisher." "Experimenters" enjoy dreaming and playing, but often find it difficult to complete works; "Finishers" are the opposite, preferring to finish quickly, but may lack depth in exploration, tending to solidify too early. Rubin points out that each type has pros and cons, and the ideal approach is to balance both mindsets in creation. For those inclined toward experimentation, he suggests forcing oneself to practice completing at least one idea, even if it's just a part of the work, to build the ability to finish. For those inclined toward completion, he suggests deliberately extending the exploration period, trying different options, postponing the time to make judgments, to avoid missing better ideas. Borrowing the strengths of each other allows creators to both generate new sparks and forge these sparks into works. Ultimately, we need both free-spirited "experimenters" to expand possibilities and calm, practical "finishers" to implement results. When feeling stuck, ask yourself: which tendency is hindering me now? Perhaps it's time to switch modes.

  • Learning Restraint and Letting Go: As creation nears its end, another obstacle may come from unwillingness to let go. Some artists find it difficult to stop revising, always feeling it's not perfect yet. Rubin reminds of the importance of "Let It Be"—sometimes, small flaws in a work are precisely where its character lies; it's not necessary to polish it to perfection. Continuing to obsess might actually wear away the soul of the work. Knowing when to stop is a sign of a creator's maturity. This relates to the abundant mindset: believe that this work is just one station in your creative journey; don't try to exhaust all pursuits in one piece. Press the publish button at the appropriate time, then continue forward; only then can the flow of creativity continue flowing, not stagnated by a project that refuses to let go.

Through these various methods, Rubin helps creators overcome psychological and practical obstacles from starting to completion. The strategies he provides boil down to: maintaining the fluidity of creation. Whether through completing in segments to ensure momentum, or introducing new changes to break stagnation, it's about keeping the river of creation flowing smoothly forward. Creators should be good at self-awareness when caught in stagnation, then use these tools to regain forward momentum. Ultimately, completing a work is both a creator's responsibility and a new beginning: with each work completed, we grow, and accumulate experience and courage for the next creation.

Art, Life, and the Meaning of Creation

In the concluding part of the book, Rubin elevates the discussion of creativity, exploring the ultimate purpose of art and its relationship with daily life. A core idea throughout the book is: the act of creation is far more important than the final work. As he says, the final work is actually just a byproduct of a greater desire—the act of creation is our attempt to enter mysterious realms, an effort to seek transcendence beyond ourselves. Artistic creation fascinates us precisely because it carries our yearning for beauty, eternity, and extraordinary experiences. Creation is a journey attempting to transcend the limitations of reality and touch a higher realm. In this process, artists explore both the world and themselves.

Rubin raises a thought-provoking question: "Why Make Art?" His answer is implied throughout the book: we create, not only to express and communicate, but more to know ourselves, know the world, and create connections. Art provides a mirror, allowing both creators and viewers to see their hidden reflections. When we create art, we are actually constructing a space for people to discover themselves—audiences may realize from your work emotions or thoughts in their hearts that haven't yet been clarified. This is the value of art: reflecting the universal through the personal, revealing the objective in the subjective. Therefore, creating art is also a service, serving humanity's common spiritual needs, letting each other see who we are, who we can become.

At the life level, Rubin closely connects creativity with daily practice. The subtitle "a way of being" clarifies: creativity is a way of existence, a way of life. Creativity doesn't just happen in studios, recording studios, or studies—it can permeate our daily lives. When we observe the world with the eyes of a creator, everything in daily life has meaning: cooking a new dish, arranging a room, telling a story, all can be infused with artistic enthusiasm and ingenuity. Rubin encourages people to treat daily life as ongoing creation. This attitude will fill our lives with freshness and a sense of control, making each day an extension of artistic practice. Meanwhile, life experiences in turn enrich our creative materials—the two complement each other, becoming one.

Chapters like "24/7" and "The Art Habit" in the book clearly advocate integrating creativity into all aspects of life. "24/7" reminds creators to maintain a state of receiving inspiration at all times, not limited to specific working hours. Rubin himself believes that creation is not just work, but a state of mind, so he pays attention to his surroundings at all times, welcoming inspiration even in dreams. "The Art Habit" compares artistic practice to the daily routine of religion or cultivation (no wonder the Taiwan version is translated as "The Cultivation of Creativity"). He also mentions "Sangha" (a community of monks), suggesting that creators also benefit from communities of like-minded people: supporting each other, exchanging insights, so creation doesn't become a lonely battle.

Harmony is mentioned in the concluding chapters, perhaps indicating that creators need to seek harmony among various elements: balance between art and life, balance between self-expression and universal meaning, balance between work and rest, and so on. Rubin does not advocate sacrificing life for art, constantly overdrawing oneself; on the contrary, he promotes a harmonious state, letting artistic practice nourish life, and life experiences feed back into art. This kind of virtuous cycle can keep creativity abundant for a long time, rather than being short-lived.

Finally, "What We Tell Ourselves" emphasizes the influence of inner narrative on creativity. Each of us has a set of evaluations about ourselves and beliefs about the world; if these self-dialogues are negative (such as "I'm not good enough" or "Inspiration has dried up"), they will become self-fulfilling prophecies, actually hindering creativity. Rubin urges creators to pay attention to and shape their inner monologues. Using positive, open language to talk to yourself, such as "Inspiration may appear at any time" or "This effort is meaningful," will give us greater courage and confidence to create. After all, creativity requires psychological safety and support to freely express, and our attitude toward ourselves is the most important support or hindrance.

In conclusion, "The Creative Act: A Way of Being" explores creativity from philosophical heights to practical details. Rubin constructs a thought system of creativity: inspiration comes from the universe's "source," creators become vessels of inspiration through tuning awareness; creation goes through stages from seed, experimentation to crafting, completion, each step with different mindset tips; creativity is inseparable from daily cultivation—through habits, environment, collaboration; creative mindset needs openness, curiosity and embracing contradictions; the purpose of art is to share sincere self, thereby touching others, building bridges between the personal and universal. Running through all of this is a belief: creativity is a way of life; when we live with a creator's perspective, life everywhere can be full of art and meaning.

Rubin's writing is both full of spiritual philosophy and rooted in his years of experience producing music and collaborating with artists, thus having both insights into the ineffable aspects of the creative process and providing many practical suggestions. The core revelation "The Creative Act" brings to readers is: everyone can embrace creativity, integrate it into daily life, making life itself a work of art. This is a profound exploration of creation, consciousness, and ways of being, inspiring us to engage in the creative experience of life with more acute perception and braver hearts.

References:

  • Rubin, Rick. The Creative Act: A Way of Being. Penguin Press, 2023. (Content summary from the book)
  • Mark C. Samples – "The Four Phases of the Creative Process: Rick Rubin"
  • BookSet – The Creative Act: A Way of Being excerpt analysis
  • UDN Reading Intelligence – "The Creative Act: A Way of Being" chapter excerpts
  • Charterworks – Emily Goligoski, The Creative Act reading brief
  • The Creative Act book quotations, etc.

The Mom Test: How to Conduct Effective User Research?

· 63 min read

Overview

"The Mom Test" is a practical guide on how to talk to customers and gather genuine, useful feedback. Author Rob Fitzpatrick begins with a common dilemma entrepreneurs face: when we ask others (especially friends and family) about our business ideas, we often receive polite or well-intentioned lies rather than truly valuable feedback. This book aims to teach entrepreneurs how to ask the right questions and obtain reliable information from potential users' daily behaviors and pain points, avoiding misleading praise. The book is well-structured and concise (approximately 200 pages), explaining how to conduct effective customer interviews through rich examples and practical principles. It covers every stage of the customer interview process: from designing questions and avoiding misleading information to finding interviewees, advancing conversations, and sharing insights with your team. Through this book, readers can systematically understand the methodology of customer interviews, avoid typical mistakes, and ultimately help their products find genuine market demand.

Core Concepts

The core idea of "The Mom Test" can be summarized in one sentence: "Make your questioning method pass 'the mom test.'" The "mom test" means designing your questions so that even your mom (the person least likely to discourage you) cannot lie to you or give you evasive answers. To achieve this effect, you need to follow these three golden rules:

  • Focus on the user's life, not your idea. In other words, discuss the user's real experiences and problems instead of immediately promoting your idea. For example, instead of asking "What do you think of my app idea?", ask "What difficulties did you face the last time you...?". By discussing the user's own behavior, you avoid leading them to agree with your line of thinking.
  • Focus on specific past behavior, not hypothetical futures. That is, ask about real situations that have happened in the past, not assumptions and promises. For example, don't ask "Would you buy this if it had XX feature?", but rather "When was the last time you encountered XX problem, and how did you solve it?" Past behavior is real, while hypothetical answers are mostly unreliable.
  • Talk less, listen more. Let users talk more while you talk less. Your goal is to gather information, not to sell, so control yourself, don't rush to interrupt or explain, and listen carefully to the other person's genuine thoughts.

By following these principles, your interview questions will be more objective and neutral, making it impossible for even those most inclined to please you (like family and friends) to merely flatter you with empty praise. This method is called "The Mom Test" precisely to emphasize that good questioning techniques can bypass favoritism and politeness, allowing the truth to emerge.

The book repeatedly emphasizes that in the entrepreneurial process, incorrect information and false positive feedback are more dangerous than direct bad news. Rather than seeking approval for your ideas, actively seek facts that might disprove your assumptions. Only by doing so can you quickly validate ideas and avoid detours. In summary, The Mom Test advocates an honest, efficient approach to customer conversations: user-centered, fact-based, seeking truth rather than approval.

Detailed Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1: The Mom Test Concept and Examples of Bad Questions

Chapter theme: Introduces the basic concept of "The Mom Test" and uses the example of "asking mom about a startup idea" to contrast traditional incorrect questioning methods with improved approaches.

The author points out that we often ask questions like "What do you think of this idea?", but these questions themselves are problematic. For instance, when a son asks his mother, "I want to create a recipe app, what do you think?", the mother, out of love, will only praise and encourage: "Sounds great, quite interesting," even if she doesn't actually think it's a good idea. This kind of conversation seems to give the entrepreneur confidence but actually yields nothing, because the mother is just telling a well-intentioned lie out of love. The failure stems from inappropriate questioning methods: focusing on the entrepreneur's own ideas and asking for opinions about future hypotheticals, which can only elicit vague or flattering responses.

This chapter contrasts incorrect examples with correct examples to distill criteria for effective questioning, namely the "three golden rules" mentioned above. In the correct example conversation, the son instead uses open-ended questions like "What do you usually do with your iPad?" and "What did you last use your iPad for?" focusing on the mother's actual iPad usage. As a result, the mother mentions using her iPad to look up travel information, suggesting she might not need a recipe app at all. This conversation yields far more valuable information than the mere "sounds good" obtained by simply promoting the app. Summary: If your questioning approach conforms to "The Mom Test" principles, even your mom can't "fool" you—truly effective dialogue should let the other person talk about their life details, allowing you to judge the feasibility of your idea for yourself, rather than directly asking what they think of your idea.

The end of this chapter lists examples of bad questions and good questions, explaining how to improve questioning:

  • Bad question: "What do you think of this idea?" Analysis: This asks for an opinion, and unless the person is a market expert, you'll only get subjective opinions with no practical reference value. Improved question: Don't directly ask if an idea is good or bad, but instead ask the person to demonstrate or describe how they currently solve the related problem. For example: "How do you currently manage suppliers? What difficulties do you encounter? What methods have you tried before?" Through these questions, you understand the current situation and pain points, then judge for yourself whether your idea is effective. Rule of thumb: Opinions at the "idea" level are useless; what really matters are facts.

  • Bad question: "Would you buy a product with X feature?" Analysis: This asks about a hypothetical, and almost everyone will instinctively answer "yes," but this doesn't represent actual behavior. Improved question: Ask about the present: "How do you currently handle problem X? How much time/money do you spend?" or "What exactly happened the last time you encountered this problem?" If the person hasn't yet solved the problem, ask why. By understanding how much cost and effort the person currently invests in solving the problem, you can judge how important the problem is to them. Rule of thumb: Answers about the future are often well-intentioned lies (such as "I'll definitely buy it in the future"), don't take them at face value.

  • Bad question: "How much would you pay for X feature?" Analysis: Directly asking how much someone would pay makes it difficult for them to give a credible answer; they might quote a number just to please you. Improved question: Ask about the current situation: "How much does this problem currently cost you? How much are you currently spending to solve it?" Understand the real cost of the problem to deduce the value of your solution. Price sensitivity often only becomes clear when actually using the product, so asking hypothetically doesn't mean much.

  • Bad question: "What would your ideal product look like?" Analysis: Asking users to imagine an ideal product often results in a pile of imagined features, making it impossible to determine real needs. Improved question: If you do ask this, follow up on the reasons: "Why do you want these features?" The focus is on understanding motivations, not collecting a feature list. Don't become a recorder of user fantasies; dig into the pain points behind the needs. Only by understanding "why" can you judge which features are truly important.

In contrast, some examples of good questions and their value are also mentioned in the book:

  • "Why do you bother?" This is a good question that strikes at motivation, leading from surface problems to deeper reasons. For example, the author mentions founders talking to finance professionals who spent hours daily sharing Excel sheets via email. They thought they needed better information synchronization tools, but when the founders asked "Why do you do this?", they discovered the real demand was "ensuring everyone uses the latest version of the data." The final solution wasn't a better email tool, but something like Dropbox for file sharing. This question reveals the real need, avoiding confusion from surface phenomena.

  • "Talk me through the last time that happened." This question encourages the other person to describe specific examples, allowing us to learn through the user's actions rather than subjective views. For example, with restaurant customers, rather than asking "Do you prefer burgers or cheeseburgers?", it's better to observe what they actually ordered. If observation isn't possible, have them recount their last experience. This is more reliable than listening to their imagined preferences. Rule of thumb: Observation or specific examples often reveal where the real problem lies, not just what users think the problem is.

  • "What else have you tried?" This question explores what efforts the person has made to solve their pain points, revealing much information: What solution are they currently using? How much do they spend, what do they like and dislike? Have they actively sought other solutions? If they have never actively sought solutions, it usually indicates the problem isn't serious, and even if you provide a product, they might not use or purchase it. Rule of thumb: Problems users haven't actively tried to solve are also problems they're unlikely to pay to adopt your new solution for.

In summary, this chapter sets the tone for the entire book: avoid "mom-trapping" ineffective questions. By focusing on the user, focusing on specifics, and listening rather than pitching, we can get meaningful feedback. The author reminds us: "If you ask a bad question, you deserve to be misled by an insignificant answer" (implying it's not the user deceiving you, but you asking the wrong question). This chapter provides the foundational principles for questioning techniques in subsequent chapters.

Chapter 2: Avoiding Bad Data

Chapter theme: Explains what information in customer conversations counts as "bad data" and how to identify and avoid this misleading feedback. The author classifies "bad data" into three major categories:

  1. Compliments – Praise that sounds nice but has no practical value. For example, "I think this idea is cool!" This kind of compliment might make you think the person likes your product, but it's just politeness.
  2. Fluff (vague talk, hypotheticals, and future tense empty talk) – Statements not based on specific facts, including general statements ("I usually...", "We never..."), future promises ("I will definitely...", "If... I will..."), and hypothetical guesses ("I might...", "Maybe..."). These expressions, lacking specific scenario support, are full of uncertainty and optimistic bias. The author particularly points out that "I will definitely buy it" is the world's deadliest fluff—users say this out of goodwill, but it doesn't mean they'll actually pay.
  3. Ideas – Various product suggestions and new ideas from users. Entrepreneurs are already drowning in too many ideas, and users throwing in more ideas might lead you astray. It's not that these ideas have no value, but you need to dig into the motivations behind them, rather than trying to implement everything.

This chapter first warns us: "To bankrupt a fool, give him information." In other words, customer feedback without filtering can lead entrepreneurs astray. To avoid being confused by bad data, the book offers specific countermeasures:

  • For compliments, neither take them seriously nor feel awkward; gracefully move past them and continue digging for information. Most interviews end with phrases like "good luck" or "sounds good." The author suggests "ignore compliments and redirect to the topic." For example, when you hear "This idea is great, I love it!", don't secretly feel pleased, but politely redirect to practical issues: "Thank you. So the last time you encountered this problem, what exactly happened...?" Rule of thumb: Compliments to entrepreneurs are "free candy"—they sound sweet but have no nutritional value. If a conversation only has compliments without substance, that conversation is almost a waste of time.

  • For vague talk and hypothetical answers, learn to "anchor" them to specific facts. Once you notice someone starting to use words like "usually, always, never" or "I will, I plan to", you should ask for details, bringing the conversation from imagination back to reality. For example: You ask: "What do you usually do to improve XX?" (May elicit a general answer) They respond: "Oh, I've always been doing..." (Typical vague talk) You follow up: "When was the last time you specifically did this? Can you talk about the situation at that time?" Through this series of specific follow-up questions, the person has to give a real example, thus anchoring vague information to a factual scenario, making it easier for you to judge the real situation. Rule of thumb: When users show great enthusiasm about the future (such as imagining themselves definitely being active in the future), entrepreneurs should not get excited, but return to "what they are actually doing right now."

  • For various new ideas suggested by users, don't immediately implement them as requirements, but "dig beneath ideas." Users giving you ideas usually means they're interested in your field, which is good, but if you accept all of them, you risk losing product focus. The author suggests: record these ideas to show respect, but then ask: "Why is this feature important to you?" "What do you hope to achieve through it?" Through questioning, find out what problem the user really wants to solve or what need they want to satisfy. If they mention having tried other solutions before with poor results, it indicates this need is critical; if they mention already having a clumsy way to solve it at a high cost, your opportunity might be there. In short, don't be distracted by surface feature requests, but understand the motivations and pain points behind them. After understanding, then evaluate whether these ideas align with your core direction.

  • Stop seeking approval. The author emphasizes that entrepreneurs often subconsciously want others' affirmation, which tempts them to ask leading questions (like "Don't you think this is great?") and receive perfunctory praise. You must resist this urge to seek agreement and focus on obtaining facts. Rule of thumb: Once you talk about your own ideas or solutions, people typically consider your feelings and beautify their feedback. So, in the early stages of interviews, try not to mention specific solutions, don't give the other person a chance to "protect" your emotions.

Additionally, this chapter cautions through examples: don't get caught up in selling your solution (Cut off pitches). Sometimes entrepreneurs, upon hearing lukewarm user responses, will insistently pitch harder, trying to "persuade" the other person to get excited. This behavior wastes time and may irritate the other person. The correct approach is to accept flat or even negative feedback, treat it as valuable information, rather than insisting on hearing good words. Remember, you're here to find the truth, not to find confidence. If you can identify and filter out the above "bad data", you'll be able to more soberly judge your direction.

Chapter 3: Asking Important Questions

Chapter theme: Discusses how to identify and ask questions that are truly important to the business, emphasizing embracing bad news and making good use of each interview to validate key assumptions.

  • Love Bad News: Entrepreneurs often fear hearing negative or critical feedback in interviews, but the author emphasizes that bad news is actually good. If an assumption is wrong, the sooner you find out, the better. For example, if you have 50,000instartupfundsandspend50,000 in startup funds and spend 5,000 to verify an idea won't work, that's a very good result; conversely, if you burn through $50,000 only to discover you went in the wrong direction, that's terrible. So be brave enough to ask questions that might disprove your assumptions. Each interview should be approached with the mindset of "let me see if there's anything wrong" rather than "I need to prove I'm right." When you get a tepid response, don't rush to persuade and turn a "meh" into a "wow"—"meh" is actually a reliable signal, indicating the person really doesn't care about this issue. Rule of thumb: "You can get more reliable information from 'meh' than from 'wow'." Because enthusiastic praise might be politeness, a flat attitude clearly tells you: this customer doesn't care about the problem your product solves.

  • Look before you zoom: Don't dive into details too early and overlook the big picture. Sometimes we assume from the start that a specific problem is important and directly ask users about their views on certain details, but these details might not be their pain points at all. The author gives an example: asking in an interview "What's the biggest problem with going to the gym during the day?" assumes the person actually cares about fitness, when they might not go to the gym at all. The correct approach is to start with the big picture, confirm whether the broader problem area exists and is important, then gradually focus. For instance, you could first ask "What challenges do you face in staying healthy?" If the person obviously has no interest in fitness, then discussing gym details is meaningless. Only when the person shows strong pain points is it worth zooming in to discuss details. Rule of thumb: "First broad, then deep," don't immediately delve into a problem area that might not be important.

  • Gaze upon the elephant: "Elephants" refer to key assumptions or risk points that are obvious but easy to overlook. Startups have two main risks: product risk (whether a solution can be developed) and market risk (whether anyone is willing to pay). Many founders are obsessed with discussing product details with users but avoid talking about the big issues that could make the entire business fail. For example, in a previous chapter's case, a team developed tools to improve teaching efficiency for teachers in resource-poor schools; they confirmed that teachers being overworked was a fact, but ignored a fatal factor: "poor schools have no budget to buy." After investing a lot of time, they found that market risk (willingness to pay) could not be overcome. Lesson: In customer conversations, don't just focus on users and problems, but also validate assumptions that determine success or failure (such as whether target customers have a budget, have permission to purchase, etc.). Some things cannot be verified through conversation alone (such as whether a technologically feasible product can be made), so they need to be verified through action as early as possible. In short, both validate market demand through conversation and don't forget to evaluate product feasibility, business models, and other "elephants in the room."

  • Prepare your list of three: The author suggests that before each important interview or communication opportunity, prepare three questions you most want to clarify. These questions should directly address the most ambiguous and critical assumptions in your current business plan. The benefits of preparation are:

    1. Avoiding asking random questions on the spot and wasting opportunities;
    2. Helping you muster the courage to ask important questions that make you nervous (because you've thought about the worst possible answers in advance and are mentally prepared).
    3. Different subjects can be asked different focus points; for example, potential customers, industry experts, and investors might have different focuses, so the list should be adjusted accordingly.
    4. These questions don't need to be perfect or eternal; they can be constantly iterated based on new information learned from previous interviews. The key is to ensure each conversation has clear learning objectives. Furthermore, if you happen to meet potential customers in informal settings, you can immediately throw out a key question, rather than just exchanging business cards and missing an opportunity. The author vividly says this will make you "look professional," and such impromptu questions often get unexpectedly honest answers. In short, carrying "three big questions" can make each of your conversations efficient and targeted.

Chapter 4: Keep It Casual

Chapter theme: Advocates liberating user interviews from formal meeting rooms, integrating them into casual daily conversations to more efficiently learn about customer problems.

A common practice in the startup world is to arrange formal user interview meetings, but the author believes informal, quick exchanges often work better. He points out that "meetings" themselves bring many unnecessary burdens and pressures:

  • The meeting anti-pattern: If every contact with customers is made to feel like a formal interview or survey questionnaire, it's a tense experience for both parties. The author makes an analogy: if you're in a café and interested in a stranger of the opposite sex, if you first go away to dress up and then return in a formal suit to approach them, this date is basically ruined. Similarly, in early customer interviews, the more casual the better. Signs of being too formal include: "Thank you very much for accepting our interview invitation..." or taking out a scoring sheet for users to rate things. These make the other person feel like they're completing a task, and their answers become unnatural. Rule of thumb: If the other person feels they're "doing you a favor" by accepting the interview, then you've made it too formal. Conversely, chatting about their problems like friends makes it easier for them to speak freely and truthfully.

  • The more casual the conversation, the more controllable the time: The author points out that effective early conversations are usually short. Even 5 minutes is enough to judge whether a pain point exists and is important. If the conversation goes straight to the user's pain points, confirming "whether this problem is worth solving," you can quickly get an answer; and once you determine it's worth delving into, you can spend another 10-15 minutes listening to them detail the process and requirement specifics. Compared to deliberately arranged one-hour meetings with venue pleasantries and setup, casual chats are straightforward, saving more time. The book gives an example: the author's team prepared for a long time on an idea, but in just 5 minutes of chatting realized the other person didn't have this pain point at all, so they immediately knew to cut their losses, avoiding wasting more time. Of course, if the pain point exists, you can talk longer, but initially there's no need for a long discussion. Rule of thumb: In preliminary communication, try to reveal as little as possible about your product concept to prevent the other person from following your train of thought and saying what you want to hear. Keep the topic centered on the other person's problems, making the conversation natural and brief.

  • Formal and casual are not opposites: Of course, this doesn't mean you can never hold formal meetings. If you have indeed scheduled a formal interview, you can also use some techniques to keep the atmosphere relaxed, making the formal meeting feel like a casual conversation. For example, don't adhere strictly to the pre-prepared question order, freely follow up on points mentioned by the other person, or chat casually before the meeting starts to establish rapport. The core is to avoid making the other person feel psychologically burdened.

The key message of this chapter is: seize every opportunity for customer conversation, don't fall into the "formal meeting" mode. During industry conference breaks, chance encounters in cafés, or any natural context, you can always ask your key questions (like the "three questions" from the previous chapter). These fragmented user insights accumulated over time may yield more than a few formal meetings. And time is the most precious resource for entrepreneurs; lightweight, frequent conversations allow you to contact more customers and validate more ideas within limited time.

Chapter 5: Commitment and Advancement

Chapter theme: Explores how to judge the genuine willingness of interviewees and how to advance potential customer relationships by requesting "small commitments," thereby distinguishing truly interested customers from polite onlookers.

First, the author introduces two concepts from sales:

  • Commitment: Refers to the other party's willingness to pay a certain price (sacrifice) to show they take your proposal seriously. This price can be time (willing to spend time discussing deeply or testing your product), reputation (willing to introduce you to colleagues and friends, essentially vouching for you), money (pre-ordering, paying deposits), or other resources. Commitment reflects how much the other person values your solution.

  • Advancement: Refers to the progress of the sales process—the other person moving further along in your "conversion funnel." For example, from initial chat to willingness to see a demo, then to willingness to try it out, until final purchase. Each advancement indicates getting closer to closing the deal.

In early customer conversations, we should pursue commitment or advancement to the next step, as that's the touchstone for judging a customer's true intentions. If someone always just verbally praises your product but takes no actual action, they're very likely not going to become a real customer. Rule of thumb: Those "customers" who are always friendly to you and say everything is good are often the most dangerous, as they provide confusing signals. Conversely, even if someone directly says "No, I won't buy," this actually clearly saves your time.

No "okay" meetings: The author states directly that interviews (or meetings) only have success and failure as outcomes, with no ambiguous "it was okay" conclusion. The standard is simple: if there's no clear next step or hard information obtained after the meeting, then it was a failed meeting. For example, if the other person gives a bunch of compliments or says "I'll take a look when your product launches," and you neither get commitment nor learn anything new, this meeting is essentially wasted. The author lists several typical scenarios and evaluates their quality:

  • "That's cool, I like it!"Bad result. Pure compliment, no actual data. You should politely return to specific questions on the spot, rather than basking in the praise.
  • "Looks good. Let me know when you launch."Bad result. Compliment + delay. The person neither provides substantial feedback nor commits to any action, just politely ends the topic. This means they don't really care about your product at the moment.
  • "When you're ready, I can introduce you to some people."Mixed result. The good part is that the person is willing to help with introductions (putting their own reputation on the line, which is a form of commitment); the bad part is that the introduction is pushed to the future, not specific enough. There's no actual progress at present. For this, the author suggests making the vague specific, such as following up with: "Who are you planning to introduce? What exactly does 'ready' mean? Why not introduce them now?" Clarify the details to confirm the other person's sincerity.
  • "What's the next step for us?"Good result. When customers actively ask about the next step, it usually means they're interested in advancing. But the premise is that you yourself must know what the next step is; you can't answer "Well, I'll think about it and get back to you," otherwise you're essentially dampening the other person's enthusiasm.
  • "I'll definitely buy it!"Bad result. This sounds great but is extremely risky, a typical false positive. Many entrepreneurs are overjoyed to hear this, but the other person has actually promised to purchase without investing any cost. The correct approach is to request some actual commitment to verify, such as having them sign a letter of intent or pay a small deposit. People with genuine needs won't mind these small barriers, whereas those who are merely offering verbal support will back off.
  • "When can we start the trial?"There's progress, but sincerity needs to be discerned. A trial indicates interest, but you need to note whether the trial costs the customer anything. If the trial is completely free and effortless, they might just be mentioning it out of curiosity. The author suggests setting a small cost for the trial (such as needing to invest time for feedback, or paying after the trial period) to see if they're still willing, which can test their genuine intent.
  • "Can I buy this prototype directly?"Excellent result. This indicates the other person urgently needs your solution, willing to purchase even before the product is perfected. Such customers are valuable "seed users."
  • "When can you come talk to other people on our team?"Very good result. In B2B scenarios, if the other party invites you to meet with more decision-related people, it indicates the project has advanced a step internally.

These examples show: you need to measure the credibility of their words by "what they have given up." No matter how nice it sounds, if they haven't sacrificed anything, it doesn't count. "Currencies" of commitment include: time (willing to talk more/test), money (advance payments, etc.), reputation (introducing others or supporting you in their circle), and risk (willing to try early-stage immature products). Rule of thumb: The more the other person invests, the more their words can be taken seriously.

So, how do you seek commitment or advancement in interviews? The author gives several suggestions:

  • Always request specific commitments or next steps. Don't let meetings end abruptly with "Okay, thank you for your time." You can make some small requests near the end to test the other person's willingness, such as: "Could you introduce us to the colleague you mentioned?" or "Next week, can I bring an early demo for you to try?" If they readily agree and follow through with action, that's progress; if they hesitate or refuse, that's fine too, at least you get a clear signal. The worst is that you don't ask at all, missing the opportunity to understand how serious they are. The author states directly that not daring to ask or not knowing what to ask is a major taboo for entrepreneurs, as it means you yourself aren't clear on what the next step is. Rule of thumb: "If you leave a meeting not knowing what to do next, the meeting was pointless."

  • Fixing a bad meeting: If you realize the entire conversation is just the other person giving nice words without substance, you can try to salvage it. The method is to directly request a specific action: "It sounds like you think our direction is good, would it be convenient to schedule a demo time for next week right now?" or "You mentioned this is important to you, would you be willing to sign a pre-purchase letter of intent?" Force out the other person's true attitude through a sudden specific request. If they genuinely have a need, they'll usually seriously consider or even agree; if they start making excuses, at least you know their previous praise was just politeness. Rule of thumb: Only when you give the other person a chance to refuse you is the progress you get genuine.

  • Rejection isn't scary, not asking is: If you boldly make a request, the worst case is just being rejected. And rejection isn't failure; it helps you save time. The real failure is when you don't ask for any commitment at all, the other person is happy not to take a position, and you stay in an ambiguous state of "polite but no progress." So, don't be afraid to hear "no"; be afraid of not hearing a clear "yes" or "no."

  • Cherish "crazy" users: The book quotes Steve Blank's concept of "early evangelists." Those users who are deeply stuck in pain points and eager for solutions are often willing to support you very early on. Characteristics include:

    • They definitely have this problem and know its pain well (strong awareness of pain points).
    • They have the budget or authority to solve this problem.
    • They have already tried to solve it themselves (even with clumsy methods), indicating an urgent need.
    • They are enthusiastic about new solutions and willing to take risks to try them quickly.

    Such people may be few but are extremely valuable. If during interviews you encounter someone whose eyes light up at your product, eager to pay right away, definitely hold onto them, listen to their needs, and let them get involved in product testing early or even become your first customers. Conversely, interviewees who don't show strong emotions and interest likely won't become your early users in the short term; you can note their feedback but shouldn't rely too heavily on them. Rule of thumb: In the early stages of a startup, rather than chasing revenue, it's more important to find such genuine needs and enthusiastic users; revenue is just a byproduct accompanying learning.

In summary, this chapter hopes entrepreneurs will always maintain sales and validation acumen in customer conversations: constantly thinking "what counts as advancing a step next?" and bravely pursuing that advancement. By requesting commitment, you can effectively filter out false signals, allowing users with genuine needs to surface.

Chapter 6: Finding Conversations

Chapter theme: Shares how to find and approach potential customers for meaningful conversations as discussed above, providing a series of strategies for obtaining user interviews, including two main directions: active outreach and attracting inbound interest.

6.1 Going to them: When you're just starting, customers won't come to you; you must find them. The author candidly admits this is difficult, and many methods aren't comfortable, but there may be no choice in the early stages. The main methods are:

  • Cold calls / cold reachouts: Cold contacting potential customers (such as making stranger calls, sending stranger emails) is almost destined to have a rejection rate of over 90%. Most people don't like being suddenly disturbed for surveys. However, if you don't have existing networks, this is one way to get your first few conversations. Even if 99 out of 100 ignore you, as long as one person is willing to meet you, you've started breaking the ice. The author suggests adjusting your mindset, treating this as practice and a screening process, and not getting discouraged. The goal is to quickly get past the cold contact stage—once you have some users and experience, you can use other more effective methods.

  • Seizing serendipity: Always be ready to spot potential users in daily life and strike up a conversation. People are actually willing to talk about their problems if the situation is relaxed and natural. In these "chance encounter" conversations, be careful not to pitch yourself upfront, but instead start with topics the other person is interested in (find a common point as an excuse). For example, if you overhear industry problems being discussed at a neighboring table in a café, you can politely join in and ask for advice. This method is highly efficient if successful, but transitioning to product topics requires skill: don't reveal upfront that you're there to sell something, otherwise you might lose trust. You can just talk about problems first, and after the other person has spoken in detail, then mention you're researching this field. In short, show natural and genuine interest in their troubles, which often leads to a valuable conversation.

  • Find a good excuse: Sometimes creating a reason for conversation can lower the other person's guard. For example, pretend to be a newcomer to a field asking for advice (provided you actually have something to learn), or pose as an industry researcher conducting interviews. The author gives an example: "You know a lot about coffee, right? I really like this shop, could we chat about your thoughts on the coffee here?" This kind of opening sounds more acceptable than directly saying "Can we talk about my product?" Once you get the other person talking about their topic, gradually transition to related problem areas. However, this strategy should be used carefully; don't make the other person feel deceived, so the excuse should be sincere and have mutual benefit.

  • Immerse yourself in where they are: Essentially, go to places where users gather. For example, attend industry conferences, exhibitions, forums, offline salons, etc. In these settings, people are already sharing and discussing, making it easier to find willing conversationalists. The author suggests paying particular attention to those who spend time attending industry events, as they often have passion for industry problems and provide rich information in conversation. In such environments, meet several people, whom you can then arrange to talk with individually later, or casually chat about their most pressing concerns on the spot. Rule of thumb: "A chatty mouth can uncover golden opportunities"; ask boldly and seek advice frequently, and you'll eventually find ways to enter user circles.

  • Creative online methods: The author mentions landing page testing strategies. For instance, Buffer's founder, before developing the product, created a simple landing page outlining the concept, collected user emails, and then further communicated with interested individuals. Paul Graham also suggests a similar method: release a rough version early to see who uses it, then directly contact these early users. This is a semi-passive way to obtain user conversations—first screen out interested individuals through web pages or advertisements, then talk with them. This helps validate concepts.

6.2 Bring them to you: Compared to searching everywhere for people, having potential customers actively seek you out is certainly more ideal. The author shares several methods to increase your exposure in target user circles:

  • Organise meetups: Be the center of the stage, not part of the audience. For example, if you're making a product for the HR industry, you can organize a "small HR exchange" or "HR roundtable cocktail party." When you invite them to attend as the organizer, your credibility and network will improve. During the event, you have numerous opportunities to casually chat with participants, understand the problems they face, and because you've provided the platform, they're more willing to engage in deeper conversations with you. Although this approach requires effort to plan events, the return is extremely high: one gathering can quickly connect you with many precise users and build trust.

  • Speaking & Teaching: Teaching and sharing are underestimated customer acquisition methods. If you have experience in a field, consider applying to speak at industry conferences, hosting free seminars, recording sharing videos, or writing article series. By providing valuable knowledge to your target user group, you both establish yourself as an expert and often attract people who genuinely care about these issues to discuss with you. For example, entrepreneurs making project management software can write blogs or host online sharing sessions on how to improve team collaboration efficiency. Audience members/readers are likely potential customers who benefit from your content and are more willing to discuss their own needs.

  • Industry blogging: If you already have a certain readership, directly reaching out to your target audience through your blog is also a good approach. Write an in-depth article analyzing industry problems, and at the end invite those with similar troubles to contact you; this often attracts high-quality conversations. Even if you don't have fame, consistently outputting professional insights can gradually accumulate attention, making you someone worth talking to in the circle.

  • Get clever: Above are conventional tactics. The author encourages finding some unconventional "hacking" methods to reach users based on your field. For example, he once organized a phone exchange for university department heads, using industry knowledge exchange as a pretext to gather many potential customers (university decision-makers) to discuss, while absorbing information and building relationships on the side. This method seems indirect but works well because you provide value (opportunity for peers to communicate) while gaining direct access to target users. In short, design valuable activities or resources around your target user group that both help them and make them notice you, naturally making them willing to communicate.

  • Creating warm intros: The concept of "six degrees of separation" indicates the world is small; through a few referrals, you can meet almost anyone. Compared to cold contact, using existing networks for introductions has a much higher success rate. Channels mentioned by the author include:

    • Industry advisors: Find senior industry professionals to be your advisors or mentors; they're usually happy to introduce you to relevant contacts. Some entrepreneurs even give advisors a small percentage of equity in exchange for their ongoing network support.
    • Academic circles: University professors often have connections with industry, especially in specific professional fields. If your product is relevant, consider contacting related professors or researchers; they might be willing to introduce your ideas to industry partners.
    • Investors: If you have investors or know people in investment circles, their networks are also treasures. Top investors are usually willing to connect portfolio companies, and even for non-portfolio companies, sometimes an introduction letter from an investment circle VIP is much stronger than your own exploration.
    • Cashing in on favors: Those friends or former colleagues who said "let me know if you need anything" in the past—now is the time to use them. Don't be shy; email them saying you're now doing X and need to contact certain types of customers, and see if they know people they can introduce. Many requests might be ignored or politely declined, but even a few leads can bring valuable conversations.

    Using warm introductions requires moderation: don't abuse friendships by frantically harassing your entire friend circle. When asking for help, make the other person feel the matter is meaningful and not too troublesome. For example, clearly write who you'd like to be introduced to and why you're contacting them. When you really need to break through, all these relationships are resources that can be activated.

6.3 Framing the meeting: When you schedule meetings with potential customers, how you word your invitation and how you start the conversation directly affects the other person's attitude. The author provides a "five-element" framework to help you effectively set expectations when requesting and beginning meetings:

  • Vision: Start by stating the macro problem you're trying to solve or the vision you want to achieve, letting the other person perceive the importance of this topic and your passion. For example: "Hi, I'm trying to make office leasing simpler for startups..."
  • Framing: Explain the stage you're currently at, emphasizing you have nothing to sell (if that's indeed the case). For instance: "We're just starting, don't have a formal product yet, just want to ensure what we're building is truly useful." This way the other person lowers their guard, not worrying about being sold to.
  • Weakness: Acknowledge your limitations in certain areas, giving the other person an opportunity to teach you. For example: "I've only seen this issue from a tenant's perspective before, don't quite understand how things work on the landlord's side, feeling a bit lost." This shows humility and a learning attitude.
  • Pedestal: Elevate the other person, emphasizing that their experience is very helpful to you. Like: "Your extensive experience in this field is exactly what I need guidance on; your pointers can help me avoid many detours." This will make them feel flattered and willing to help.
  • Ask: Clearly make the meeting request. For example: "Do you have time for a face-to-face chat in the next two weeks? I'd really like to hear your thoughts." Express that you're seeking help, not selling.

Combining these, an example email/opening might look like this:

"Hi Pete, I'm working hard to solve the problem of how complicated it is for startups to rent offices (Vision). We're still in the very early stages, no product to sell, just want to ensure we're on the right track (Framing). Since I've always been a tenant myself, I don't understand much about the landlord side's needs, feeling a bit confused now (Weakness). You have a lot of experience in renting office space and could definitely help me see many issues clearly (Pedestal). I wonder if you have time to chat and give me some guidance in the next two weeks? (Ask)"

This wording concisely explains your intentions while lowering the other person's guard, greatly increasing the likelihood of them agreeing to meet. Once the meeting begins, the author suggests you control the pace, not allowing the other person to drag you into discussing product ideas in detail. After pleasantries, repeat the background from your email (emphasizing you're here to learn), then immediately jump into your first question, guiding the conversation to revolve around their pain points. If you don't seize the initiative, curiosity might drive the other person to question your product details, leading to you being interviewed, defeating the purpose of the interview.

6.4 To commute or to call: The author personally prefers face-to-face communication because it allows observation of body language and emotions, making it more personal. Phone calls are considered too rigid. However, in modern environments, video conferences (like Zoom) have made remote communication close to in-person effects. The important thing is to choose an effective and efficient method for you: if video allows you to talk to 5 people in a day, that's better than visiting in person and only meeting 1 person. In short, being there in person usually works best, but don't be bound by form; being able to converse is the key.

6.5 The advisory flip: An interesting approach is to convert some customer interviews into opportunities to recruit advisors. That is, when you meet an interviewee who really understands the industry, try to establish a long-term relationship, making them your "advisor" or "mentor." This way, you can consult them regularly in the future, or even invite them to join the company as a formal advisor, rewarding them with a small equity stake or compensation. This transformation makes the other person more invested in helping you and is like having an "insider" with an internal perspective. Of course, this should be carefully chosen, attempting only with truly enthusiastic people who are domain experts.

6.6 How many meetings?: How many customers should you talk to before it's enough? The author quotes user research experience: "Keep interviewing until you stop hearing new things." Many UX researchers find that around 5 interviews often reveal the main problem patterns. For simple, clear markets, 3-5 conversations might be enough to lock down key requirements; if interviews exceed 10 and still lack clear commonalities, it's likely your targeted user group is too broad and needs to be segmented before further discussion. Therefore, don't be obsessed with "large samples"; "information saturation" is the signal that you can stop for now. Proceed to product development or the next validation step promptly, don't get stuck in endless "let's talk and then decide."

Chapter 7: Choosing Your Customers

Chapter theme: Emphasizes the importance of focusing on market segments and provides methods to divide the complex potential user base into manageable small groups for validation. As an old saying goes: "A product trying to serve everyone ends up serving no one." Excellent startups often start from extremely narrow entry points, gradually expanding their results.

  • Segmentation: The author mentions examples of companies that had to narrow down their target users at the beginning. When the user group is too diverse, the feedback you receive will be conflicting and chaotic, making product direction difficult to decide. By focusing on specific groups, you can:

    1. Custom-tailor products and marketing messages that better fit that group;
    2. Get consistent, clear feedback from them to rapidly improve your product.
  • Customer slicing: The author provides a set of sequential questions to continually divide a broad user group, finding the most core early target users:

    • Among this large group, which type of people most need my product?
    • Will everyone in this group buy my product? Or just a subset?
    • Why does that subset need it? What are their specific pain points or goals?
    • Does the entire large group have this motivation, or just part of it?
    • What other motivations can my product satisfy?
    • Are there other types of people who also have these motivations?

    Keep asking, and you can gradually narrow vague large circles into clearer small circles. For example, initially you might think "students" are all your users, but after slicing you might discover that "soon-to-graduate non-local PhD students" is a small group with more urgent needs and higher willingness to pay. After identifying several possible segments, you can choose the most ideal one as your initial entry market based on (profit potential, reachability, fit with your expertise). Then, put all your effort into talking with these people and making products, temporarily setting aside other groups.

  • Talking to the wrong people: If you haven't done good segmentation, you might spend a lot of time talking to non-target users without realizing it. Common errors include:

    1. Too broad a target: Trying to be a catch-all, resulting in listening to everyone, with chaotic feedback that's hard to act on.
    2. Missing key groups: Your product involves multiple different user roles, but you might have only talked to one type. For example, a social platform making money from ads needs to talk to both users and advertisers; similarly, software sold to businesses might have different users and purchasing decision-makers, and you need to cover both.
    3. Ignoring secondary users: Sometimes we focus too much on "big customers" or "heavy users," ignoring the voices of long-tail or grassroots users. The needs of each type of user can affect product success, so consider all aspects, but prioritize. You can first focus on one core group, but don't forget to validate the ideas of other related groups, especially when they play different roles in the usage and purchasing process.

In summary, this chapter reminds entrepreneurs: finding the right "who" is more fundamental than figuring out "what they want." Only by targeting a clear user group can you effectively execute the interview and validation methods discussed in previous chapters. If you find the feedback in your conversations all over the place, you might need to stop and redefine your target customers.

Chapter 8: Running the Process

Chapter theme: Emphasizes that interviews are not just about conversation skills, but also preparation before and organization after, as well as the importance of team collaboration. Even if you follow all the previous advice, if you don't manage the process well, the results might still be poor.

  • Avoiding learning bottlenecks: The author warns that if only the founder goes to talk to users and then just verbally relays the information, the information becomes distorted and delayed, and the entire team becomes bottlenecked by one person's brain capacity. Typical negative examples include: "Development colleagues just write code without participating in interviews, with product decisions based entirely on the founder saying 'users need this,'" or interview records scattered and unread. To avoid this information blockage, you need to do "three things: preparation, review, and recording."

  • 8.1 Prepping: Before starting a round of interviews, work with your team to clarify learning goals. That is, the aforementioned "three questions"; here it's emphasized again that the team must reach consensus: everyone agrees on what three things need to be validated most urgently. At the same time, envision what commitments you hope to get from users (such as willingness to try or refer others), so you know what to aim for. Also, research the interviewee's background: for instance, browse their company website, LinkedIn profile, etc. Avoid asking questions during the interview that could be answered with a web search, as that would make you appear unprofessional. Finally, adjust your mindset: anticipate the worst answers, so you can calmly accept sharp feedback when faced with it. Rule of thumb: If before meeting you don't know what you want to learn, then it's not worth going. The purpose of preparation is to ensure each conversation has a clear purpose, rather than just chatting for the sake of chatting.

  • 8.2 Reviewing: After each interview, quickly share notes and insights with your team. Ideally, immediately call a small review meeting to go through the 3 big questions you asked and the answers you got, letting everyone understand the user feedback. Discuss as a team which findings were unexpected, which assumptions were confirmed/disproven, and how to adjust upcoming plans. This kind of review both solidifies information and helps the team reach consensus on future direction. If you can't meet immediately, at least organize and share the records with relevant members; don't keep information locked in personal notebooks.

  • 8.3 Who should show up: The author advocates that important decision-makers in the team should participate in some interviews. Especially co-founders, regardless of whether they're responsible for technology or business, should ideally hear users discuss problems firsthand. Because the impact of firsthand information cannot be matched by secondhand reports. Hearing users describe pain points in their own words gives engineers a deeper understanding and acceptance of product direction. Of course, not everyone needs to attend every time; usually two people as a group is most effective: one leading the conversation, the other taking notes. This avoids a single person being overwhelmed while not creating a crowd that makes users nervous.

  • 8.4 How to write it down: Interview records are the basis for subsequent decisions and should be both detailed and efficient. The author suggests:

    • Try to record direct quotes: Especially when users express strong emotions or key viewpoints, write them down as direct quotes. These golden sentences are very powerful when later explaining problems to the team or investors.
    • Capture emotions and key points: Use symbols or emoticons to mark the other person's tone, such as 😃 for excitement, 😕 for confusion, etc. Emotions often reflect the depth of pain points.
    • Use concise shorthand: No need to record verbatim (except for key sentences); you can use abbreviations, bullet points, etc. to record quickly. Recording too much detail on the spot might distract attention.
    • Record audio if necessary: If the other person allows, recording and then organizing afterward ensures nothing is missed. However, recording slightly affects the casual atmosphere and should be used judiciously.
  • 8.5 Where to write it down: It's suggested to use electronic, shareable methods for recording. For example, directly record in note-taking software or online documents, making it easy to share with the team afterward. If handwriting is faster, you should immediately type the content into the computer after the meeting and add details. The key is that records shouldn't lie dormant unexamined. If you don't plan to review them, recording no matter how much is meaningless. Therefore, choose a storage method that both you and your team will look at, and establish a review habit.

  • 8.6 The process: At the end, the author provides a concise process checklist, connecting all the key points of the book:

    • Before a batch of interviews: Define clear user segments; have the team jointly decide on 3 main learning objectives; if commitment validation is needed, think about the desired form of commitment; find out where target users are and who can introduce them; do necessary desk research.
    • During the interview: Use the "five-element" framework in the opening to set the right communication tone; keep the conversation relaxed and natural; ask questions following Mom Test principles (don't ask for opinions, ask for facts); redirect compliments, follow up on assumptions with factual inquiries, dig into motivations behind ideas; listen carefully and take notes; if the situation is appropriate, bravely propose next steps or request commitments.
    • After a batch of interviews: Organize notes and key quotes; evaluate results with the team (new insights, corrected assumptions); archive important findings (for future product design reference); update your action plan based on the information obtained; then identify new 3 questions and enter the next cycle.

    The author finally reminds: All of this is to make your business run faster, not slower. Don't over-prepare for interviews, nor endlessly interview without action. Generally speaking, spend a week or two intensively talking to customers, then go build something based on feedback (like a prototype) to give customers something they can commit to/use, and iterate repeatedly. Rule of thumb: Don't get stuck in theoretical discussions; when it's time to act, act, because ultimately products and business performance validate everything.

Above are the detailed summaries of each chapter. From questioning techniques, to analyzing feedback, to advancing relationships, finding customers, focusing on users, and executing the entire interview process, the book coherently teaches readers how to conduct effective customer development conversations.

Summary of Methodologies and Practical Principles

Synthesizing the entire book, to successfully apply "The Mom Test" philosophy, you need to master a series of methods and principles. Below, from six aspects—questioning techniques, identifying feedback, communication strategies, advancing commitments, obtaining customers, and team processes—we organize the specific methodologies, practical suggestions, and important principles from the book.

Golden Rules of Questioning (Three Mom Test Principles)

  • Focus on the user, not on yourself: Talk about the user's current life situation and problems, don't immediately present your product idea. Let the user be the teacher and you the student, avoiding self-promotion.
  • Focus on the past, not hypothetical futures: Ask users about behaviors and experiences that actually happened in the past, don't ask "would you in the future...". Past facts are objective, while promises about the future are often distorted.
  • Listen more, talk less: The principle of 80% listening + 20% questioning. Control your desire to speak, don't interrupt or defend, leave more time for the other person to output information. Your role is more like a reporter, not a salesperson.

Techniques for Avoiding Ineffective Feedback

  • Don't let compliments go to your head: Be wary of praise like "good" or "like." Politely respond and immediately guide back to practical issues, for example: "Thanks for the support! But what I'd like to understand more is your experience last time with...?" Compliments don't equal demand.
  • Anchor vague talk: When you hear vague statements like "always/never/maybe/will in the future," immediately ask for specific examples: "When was the last time? What was the specific situation then?" Use details to bring empty talk back to real scenarios. As long as the other person starts telling concrete stories, you've moved from assumptions to facts.
  • Dig into the motivations behind user ideas: When users suggest product improvements, don't immediately agree to implement them; first ask "Why do you want this? What benefit would this bring you?" to understand the real needs behind it. If you discover this is a core pain point, it's worth considering; otherwise, record the idea but defer action.
  • Eliminate the mentality of seeking approval: Constantly remind yourself: I want facts, not agreement. Avoid asking "Do you think my idea is good?" type questions seeking affirmation. Focus your attention on the user's problems, don't try to gain confidence from users.

Effective Communication and Interview Strategies

  • Keep conversations casual and natural: Try to chat in relaxed environments rather than formal meeting rooms. Even in formal meetings, use a conversational tone. Avoid questionnaire-style questioning or making the other person feel interrogated. Casual doesn't mean purposeless, but letting the other person comfortably share.
  • Control time, short and focused: 5-15 minutes is enough for early exploratory conversations. After confirming a problem exists and is important, then invest more time in detailed discussion. Better to have multiple short talks than one long one, as each conversation yields insights and quickly validates assumptions.
  • Conceal your solution bias: In initial conversations, try not to reveal your specific solution concept. This prevents the other person from politely praising along with your solution or proposing a bunch of ideas targeted at your solution. This allows you to objectively understand their original problems and behaviors.
  • Master the opening framework: When inviting and starting, use the "vision-framing-weakness-pedestal-ask" five elements to set correct expectations. State the problem you want to solve, explain you currently have nothing to sell and are just learning, humbly ask for the other person's experience, and request some time. This improves response rates and conversation quality.
  • Cleverly ask sensitive questions: For questions you fear bad answers to most (like "Would you really pay for this?"), don't avoid them; design your approach in advance and gather the courage to ask. Bad news = valuable information; don't avoid asking just because you fear rejection.

Advancing Commitments and Validating Needs

  • Look for commitment signals: When evaluating conversation outcomes, focus on whether the other person is willing to pay some price to show interest: willing to spend more time talking/testing (time commitment), willing to refer you to others (reputation commitment), willing to pay deposits or sign intentions (monetary commitment), etc. These commitments are signs they truly value your product; pure verbal praise doesn't count.
  • Always seek the next step: Before the end of each interaction, make a specific request that advances the relationship (such as scheduling the next demo, introducing potential users, joining a waitlist, etc.). Give the other person a chance to state their position. If they agree, you've made progress; if they refuse, there's no loss and you get a clear signal.
  • Measure the credibility of words: The more the other person gives up/invests, the more credible their words. If someone says "I will absolutely buy" but is unwilling to pay a small deposit or sign, then discount that statement. Conversely, if someone doesn't praise you but directly says "I can buy right now," they're serious.
  • Identify early enthusiastic users: Pay special attention to those interviewees who seem emotionally excited, eager to solve a problem. They might say "This problem is giving me such a headache, I'm willing to pay to solve it right now!" Such people are characterized by being deeply immersed in the problem, aware of the pain points, having a budget, and having tried alternative solutions. They are the "angel users" worth prioritizing your service for, even if they propose many demanding requirements; listen to them carefully. They're likely to become your first paying customers, helping you refine your product.

Strategies for Obtaining User Conversations

  • Don't fear rejection in cold starts: When just beginning, don't be afraid to send cold emails or make cold calls. Even with a 99% rejection rate, you only need that 1% of responses to get started. Prepare mentally, treat it as practice. Once you have a few seed users, open up further through them or other methods.
  • Stake out user gathering places: Actively appear in environments where target users gather, such as industry conferences, forums, group activities, etc. Integrate into their communities, listen to their discussions, seek opportunities to enter conversations from there.
  • Learn to find excuses and get close: For stranger potential users, first chat about topics of interest to them. For example, shared appreciation of a setting, asking professional questions, etc., lowering defenses before gradually moving to issues you care about. Avoid self-promotion right from the start.
  • Organize events, let users come to you: If conditions allow, host an event or gathering in a niche field. Attract target users to participate; during the event, you naturally gain opportunities to communicate with them, while also establishing your image in the circle. One-to-many format is highly efficient.
  • Provide value to attract attention: Through writing professional blogs, sharing tips and resources, small salons, etc., first provide useful information to target user groups. When you're viewed as someone knowledgeable and willing to share, potential customers are more willing to discuss their problems with you. Often in this process, the other party initiates consultation with you, naturally leading into "The Mom Test" style questioning.
  • Utilize relationship networks for introductions: Maximize use of your connections. Tell friends, mentors, investors, etc. that you're looking for certain types of users, asking them for introductions. Conversation partners introduced this way will take the meeting more seriously due to the mutual acquaintance. When sending introduction requests, clearly explain your vision and reasons for wanting to meet, making it easier for the intermediary to convey and facilitate.

Interview Process and Team Collaboration

  • Clarify learning objectives: Before conducting a round of interviews, have the team together determine the 3 assumptions/questions you most want to validate at this stage. Design questions around these goals, so each conversation is targeted and effectiveness can be evaluated later. If questions can be answered first through online research, don't waste interview opportunities asking them.
  • Team participation: Core members should take turns participating in some interviews, listening to users firsthand. Especially technology or product leaders, this helps avoid information barriers, synchronizing everyone's understanding of user needs. During interviews, it's best to work in pairs (one asking, one recording), ensuring both complete records and smooth communication.
  • Timely recording and sharing: Take good notes during interviews, highlighting golden quotes and key points. Immediately organize and share with relevant team members afterward. You can call quick sharing sessions or list key points and quotes in Slack/documents. Process information without overnight or weekly delays, ensuring team decisions are based on the latest user feedback.
  • Regular reviews and adjustments: After several interviews, sit down with the team to analyze common conclusions: What are the users' universal pain points? Which of our original assumptions were disproven? Does the product direction need adjustment? Update product plans and questions to validate next accordingly. Then enter the next Build-Measure-Learn cycle.
  • Don't rely excessively on interviews: Although the book emphasizes the importance of conversations, it also reminds not to endlessly interview without taking action. At the appropriate time, stop talking and start developing prototypes or features to further test (for example, see if users will actually use it, will pay for it). Interviews are tools, not goals; ultimately you need to deliver products that solve problems. If a conversation doesn't yield much (e.g., repetitive information or deviation from core issues), consider reducing such interviews or changing direction.

These key points condense the principles and techniques repeatedly mentioned in "The Mom Test." Following these methodologies, entrepreneurs can systematically develop customers: ask the right questions, hear the real answers, quickly validate and iterate. Avoid typical traps (such as only listening to good words, having too mixed a user group, not sharing information, etc.), thereby more efficiently refining products and finding Product-Market Fit.

Practical Application Cases

To better understand the principles above, here are several real-world application cases from the book and reality, illustrating how "The Mom Test" method works in practice.

  • Case 1: Validating a Recipe App Idea with Mom – Tom planned to develop a premium recipe app. Following the book's methodology, instead of directly asking his mom "What do you think of my idea?", he had her talk about her daily iPad usage habits. She mentioned mainly using her iPad for news and games, with no mention of cooking-related needs. Tom further asked, "When was the last time you used your iPad for something recipe-related?" She couldn't recall because she simply doesn't use her iPad for recipes, preferring her physical cookbooks. Through this conversation, Tom discovered that target users (everyday home cooks) might not have the pain point he assumed, and the likelihood of them willing to pay $40 for a recipe app was probably low. This case shows how "The Mom Test" helped him adjust direction early, avoiding market misinterpretation due to his mom's polite encouragement.

  • Case 2: Inspiration for a Dropbox-Style Solution – The author mentions an entrepreneurial team's experience interviewing finance professionals. Initially, these finance workers complained about spending significant time synchronizing Excel spreadsheets via email, seemingly seeking more efficient communication tools. They even explicitly requested "better messaging tools" to save time. However, the startup team didn't stop at surface requirements and instead asked: "Why do you spend so much time sending spreadsheet emails back and forth?" The answer: "Because we need to ensure everyone sees the latest version." This insight was a revelation: the fundamental problem wasn't communication efficiency but file version synchronization. Consequently, they pivoted from building a chat tool to creating cloud sharing functionality (similar to Dropbox), successfully addressing the customer's true pain point. This case demonstrates the insight gained by asking "why do you do this," and the importance of not being misled by surface requirements, but instead digging deeper into motivations.

  • Case 3: Identifying Early Evangelists – A startup developed collaboration software for designers. During interviews, they encountered two types of feedback:

    • Most designers said: "Sounds good, let us know when you launch." But when asked if they'd be willing to try it or schedule a demo, they typically responded with "We'll see then."
    • A few designers excitedly said: "This is exactly what I urgently need! Our team constantly has collaboration problems. If you have this, I'm willing to pay for it right now!" They readily signed up for trials and even offered to bring colleagues to test.

    The team recognized the second group as their target seed users. They prioritized meeting the needs of these "enthusiasts," inviting them to deeply participate in product refinement. Sure enough, this group later became paying customers and advocates. The first group proved to be merely offering polite support, with many never converting. This real-world example shows how requesting small commitments (like signing up for a trial) can effectively distinguish those with genuine needs. Those who only verbally support but take no action can be deprioritized for the time being.

  • Case 4: Buffer's Landing Page Test – In this famous case, social media scheduling tool Buffer was still in the concept stage when founder Joel created a simple webpage describing the product with a "pricing" button. Clicking this button revealed a message: "Product not yet available, leave your email for updates." Within days, they collected numerous emails (demonstrating interest). Joel then proactively emailed these potential users to deeply understand their social media pain points. This was essentially a variation of "The Mom Test" strategy: using an MVP (Minimum Viable Product) to filter out users with genuine needs, then conducting qualitative interviews with them. Through these conversations, the Buffer team identified the features users needed most and acceptable price ranges, then rapidly developed the product. Buffer ultimately achieved great success. This case demonstrates: finding users and validating needs through creative methods, combining interviews and data, can greatly increase the probability of addressing real pain points.

  • Case 5: Quickly Gathering Feedback at an HR Meetup – An entrepreneur wanted to develop HR software but found traditional cold starts difficult. Following the book's suggestions, he organized a small meetup for HR professionals. He invited about a dozen HR managers he had contacted through friends and LinkedIn, providing free venue and refreshments. During the meetup, everyone freely discussed challenges in their work. As the host, he naturally joined the discussions and posed several questions he was interested in (such as "What do you all think is the biggest difficulty in talent recruitment?"). As a result, he collected valuable firsthand feedback, and several HR managers expressed interest in further discussions about his product concept afterward. This event allowed him to quickly build connections and gain deep insights, much more efficiently than scheduling cold interviews one by one. Lesson learned: By providing a valuable platform, you can establish connections with multiple target users simultaneously and understand their genuine needs.

These cases demonstrate that whether testing ideas with family and friends, pivoting early product positioning, identifying initial seed customers, or creating opportunities to reach users, "The Mom Test" principles are genuinely effective. The key is flexible application: designing appropriate outreach methods for your specific field, while always maintaining the core focus of asking the right questions and hearing genuine feedback. When you truly make an effort to understand your users rather than rushing to validate your own ideas, you can often avoid major pitfalls and discover the path to success.

About Author Rob Fitzpatrick

Rob Fitzpatrick is a seasoned entrepreneur and author whose background and experience provided the practical wisdom for writing "The Mom Test":

  • Entrepreneurial Experience: Rob has over 10 years of entrepreneurial experience, having founded and participated in multiple startups, including both bootstrapped projects and venture-backed companies. He was part of Y Combinator's Summer 2007 batch, has successfully raised funds for startups in the US and UK, and has built products serving international brands like Sony and MTV. These experiences gave him profound insights into the importance and difficulties of communicating with customers during the entrepreneurial process, and taught him many valuable lessons.

  • Transition to Customer Development Expert: Rob started as a programmer, but in his first startup, he was forced to take the lead in customer interactions. He discovered that marketing or user research books on the market were mostly theoretical and didn't teach him specifically how to talk to customers to obtain genuine insights. To fill this gap, he compiled practical interview techniques based on personal experience, eventually organizing them into "The Mom Test." The book can be considered the crystallization of his experiences after "stumbling" on the entrepreneurial path, making it particularly relevant to the real needs of startup teams.

  • Work and Influence: Since its publication in 2013, "The Mom Test" has received excellent reviews and is considered one of the most valuable entrepreneurial guides "per ounce." It's concise and practical, avoiding abstract theory and offering only actionable methods, earning praise from numerous entrepreneurs. The book is now used as course material in entrepreneurship programs at institutions like Harvard Business School and University College London (UCL), and has been listed as required reading by several European startup accelerators (such as Seedcamp and Microsoft Ventures Accelerator). Several well-known entrepreneurs and investors have publicly recommended it.

  • Other Works: Besides "The Mom Test," Rob Fitzpatrick has authored other practical entrepreneurship books, such as "The Workshop Survival Guide" and "Write Useful Books," the latter sharing his experience in non-fiction writing and publishing. These books continue his practical-first style, covering areas like entrepreneurial education and content creation. Additionally, he regularly writes blog posts and participates in podcasts and startup training, sharing insights on entrepreneurial methodologies.

  • Professional Role: Rob is now a startup mentor and speaker, frequently invited to share Customer Development experiences at entrepreneurial events worldwide. He has also created online courses teaching the practical application of "The Mom Test" principles. As a serial entrepreneur, Rob remains active in the startup ecosystem, using his knowledge to help more teams avoid detours.

In summary, Rob Fitzpatrick has contributed valuable methodologies to the entrepreneurial community from the perspective of a technical entrepreneur who has lived through the experience. "The Mom Test" is authentic and useful precisely because the author himself encountered pitfalls, derived patterns, and passed them on to others in plain language. Rob's background gives him a deep understanding of startup teams' pain points, and his guidance has both theoretical foundations and practical verification—a rare combination. This explains why his work has broadly influenced entrepreneurial education and practice, becoming essential reading for many entrepreneurs seeking product-market fit (PMF).

Bench.co User Pain Points

· 10 min read

Feedback on Features and Usability

Many users find Bench’s interface intuitive and user-friendly, with clear information layout. As a cloud-based service, users appreciate being able to access their books anytime, anywhere to stay on top of their company’s financial status. However, several functional limitations are frequently mentioned. For example, Bench lacks mobile support: users are unable to upload receipts and other financial documents via mobile devices, which is considered a major shortcoming. Additionally, Bench only supports cash-based accounting and does not provide accrual-based accounting, which frustrates businesses with more complex accounting needs. While Bench connects to bank accounts for automatic transaction imports, some users complain that the automation is insufficient—they still need to manually upload transaction documentation and categorize each entry. On the reporting side, Bench offers only a limited selection of reports. Users noted the absence of key financial reports (such as payroll summaries or vendor expense breakdowns), receiving only profit and loss statements and year-end summaries, with mixed categories making it hard to verify accuracy. These issues suggest that although Bench provides a decent basic experience, there is significant room for improvement in advanced functionality and usability details.

Data Accuracy, Delays, and Errors

In terms of data accuracy, some users express concern over the reliability of the books provided by Bench. Clients report receiving books with numerous misclassifications and errors. For instance, one user submitted all required documents, but two months later, the books were still incomplete, and the completed portions contained hundreds of classification errors. This user received inaccurate monthly reports for two consecutive months, risking significant overpayment of taxes. Another user stated they had “lost confidence” in Bench’s bookkeeping over the past three years due to repeated misclassifications, requiring constant self-checking and adjustments. Overall, delayed deliveries and frequent errors are recurring pain points. Although Bench promises to complete historical bookkeeping within a specific timeframe (e.g., 10–15 days), users report serious delays: in one case, a two-week promise turned into nearly two months with no update. These delays also impact tax filing—some users complain that Bench only informed them shortly before the tax deadline that bookkeeping couldn’t be completed on time, forcing them to apply for extensions. During tax season, heavy workloads slow down communication—one G2 user noted that Bench’s response times worsen during tax season. Beyond bookkeeping errors, Bench’s professional support has also faltered. For example, some users reported multiple technical inaccuracies regarding PPP loan forgiveness, indicating a lack of claimed expertise. The shortcomings in data and professionalism have reduced customer trust in Bench, with some users saying they must invest extra effort verifying Bench’s outputs.

Customer Service and Communication

Bench’s customer support and communication have declined significantly in recent years and are among the most frequently criticized aspects. Many users complain about poor communication, including frequent changes in bookkeeping team members, insufficient handovers, and new staff being unfamiliar with client accounts. When issues arise, users often struggle to reach customer support or their assigned bookkeeper. Multiple clients reported that their messages went unanswered for weeks. Some even booked support calls that were missed without notice. Moreover, several users said they were bounced between different support staff who provided conflicting responses, leaving problems unresolved. One user stated that Bench had become “almost impossible to contact”, making them feel like their annual fees were wasted. Another reported a worse experience: over three weeks, they spoke with nine different people and still couldn’t resolve a basic issue, experiencing multiple missed calls and broken appointments. When this user expressed dissatisfaction strongly, Bench’s manager not only failed to apologize but criticized the user’s tone instead. Overall, many long-time customers observed that Bench’s service quality and responsiveness have deteriorated significantly in the past two years, shifting from early-stage attentiveness to current indifference. This decline in service experience is eroding customer loyalty.

Pricing and Value for Money

Pricing and value are also major concerns for users. Bench’s basic plan starts at around $299 per month, placing it at the high end of similar bookkeeping services. Many users feel that Bench offers poor value for money, citing high fees for subpar service. Some compare Bench to competitors charging a third of the price with better service. A notable example involved a small business earning only 15,000ayearbeingcharged15,000 a year being charged 7,500 for tax filing through Bench—this was deemed unacceptable. The user said they had “paid a premium for poor service.” On social media, others described Bench as “not worth it”, noting that even a low price is wasted if the work isn’t done right. Complaints about billing practices also surfaced: some users continued to be charged after cancelling the service, encountering double billing. Others were asked to continue paying installment contracts after Bench shut down operations, even though services had stopped—this led users to feel deceived. Some even used terms like “scam” to describe their experience. Beyond pricing, users are annoyed by frequent upselling and price hikes. They reported that Bench often raised subscription fees or pushed add-on services aggressively, which was off-putting. Overall, the disconnect between high fees and lackluster service quality has caused users to question Bench’s value proposition.

Third-Party Integration and Automation

Bench claims to combine software automation with human bookkeeping. On the integration front, it can connect to users’ bank accounts to automatically import transactions. This works for most major banks, but users note poor support for smaller banks—certain accounts cannot be linked successfully. Even when linked, data syncing is unreliable. Users complain that bank connections frequently drop, requiring repeated password entries—an inconvenience. As for automation, many users find Bench’s promises overblown. Ideally, the system should auto-categorize transactions after linking accounts, but in practice, manual intervention is still needed. One customer quipped: “All accounts are connected, but I still have to upload every receipt and manually classify each transaction; QuickBooks would be just as much work.” This suggests that Bench’s algorithms aren’t intelligent enough to deliver the promised efficiency gains. In terms of third-party service integration, Bench previously outsourced tax services to Taxfyle, and some long-term users found that setup worked well. However, since switching to an in-house tax team, the quality has dropped. A 6-year user said the new team was slow and error-prone, causing severe tax delays. Moreover, Bench does not support direct integration with other accounting platforms (since it competes with software like QuickBooks), making data migration difficult for users wanting to switch. The limitations of cash-based accounting further constrain functionality. As previously mentioned, the lack of accrual support makes Bench unsuitable for businesses with complex financial reporting needs. In summary, Bench’s automation and integration features fall short: while bank connection helps with basic automation, users still need to do a lot manually. The lack of integration with payroll or inventory systems and limited reporting capabilities remain significant pain points.

Desired New Features and Improvements

Based on the above feedback, Bench users share several expectations for future improvements:

  • Support for accrual-based accounting: Bench currently only offers cash-based bookkeeping. Users with professional accounting needs hope it expands to include accrual-based methods to handle more complex financial scenarios.
  • More detailed reports and analytics: Users want more customized reports such as payroll summaries, vendor expense analysis, and project profitability breakdowns—not just standard profit and loss or balance sheets. These are crucial for business decision-making.
  • Enhanced mobile application: Modern users want to handle financial tasks on the go. Bench’s mobile offering is insufficient, especially in receipt uploads and report viewing. Users strongly desire a comprehensive mobile app.
  • Consistent team service: Clients are frustrated by frequent bookkeeper changes. They hope Bench will assign dedicated account managers or improve internal handover processes so new staff are fully briefed on each client, reducing repetitive communication.
  • Faster delivery timelines: Users urge Bench to shorten processing cycles for bookkeeping and tax prep. This may require more staff or better workflows to ensure monthly closeouts and annual tax filings are completed on time.
  • Smarter automation: Users want smarter software that can auto-identify common transaction types and maintain stable bank connections without frequent re-authentication.
  • Transparency and stable operations: Bench’s sudden shutdown in late 2024 damaged user trust. Going forward, users want to be notified in advance of major changes and be provided with data export options and refund mechanisms in case of service disruption.
  • Reduced sales pressure: Users are frustrated by excessive upselling. They want Bench to focus on improving core bookkeeping quality rather than pushing extra services. Once the basics are flawless, users will naturally be more open to upgrades.

Key Negative Reviews from Various Platforms

User reviews from multiple platforms further validate these issues:

  • Review platforms (Trustpilot/BBB): In 2024–2025, Bench received many 1-star reviews on Trustpilot and BBB. Complaints focused on poor communication and delays. One user missed the tax deadline due to Bench and was “unable to reach anyone” for resolution. A 6-year customer was furious with the internal tax team, reporting a $5,000+ error in a tax draft after three weeks with no response. Many reviews used strong terms like “deception” and “scam”, especially regarding the shutdown and acquisition—users who paid for a full year lost access when Bench closed.
  • Reddit forums: On platforms like r/Bookkeeping, professionals have called Bench a “terrible company,” saying service quality has declined sharply over three years. One accountant said Bench’s staff disappeared for three weeks, halting tax filing. On r/smallbusiness, users warn others to avoid Bench at all costs due to high prices and unreliable delivery.
  • Twitter (X): Entrepreneurs have tweeted about their disappointment with Bench. One user called it the “worst service I’ve ever experienced,” citing a six-month delay in year-end books.
  • App store reviews: While Bench’s mobile app is not yet widely adopted, existing reviews mention unstable bank connections and frequent re-authentication issues—matching integration problems noted elsewhere. Across platforms, users consistently cite delays, miscommunication, and recurring errors, with a sharp decline in service quality in recent years.

Conclusion: Key Pain Points and Product Improvement Directions

Synthesizing user feedback, Bench.co’s core pain points lie in the following areas, along with suggested improvements:

  • Service timeliness and reliability: Bench repeatedly fails to meet delivery timelines for bookkeeping and tax filings. In severe cases, this results in missed legal deadlines and penalties. Improvement: Optimize workflows, add progress tracking tools, set clear SLAs, and notify users promptly of delays with solutions.

  • Poor communication and support: Users are frustrated by unresponsive customer service, inconsistent responses, and lack of familiarity from support staff. Improvement: Assign dedicated account managers, enforce 24-hour response times, improve internal knowledge-sharing, and train staff in empathetic communication.

  • Data accuracy and professionalism: Clients question the reliability of Bench’s books due to frequent misclassifications and tax-related errors. Improvement: Implement strict review processes, enhance automatic categorization using machine learning, and limit advice on sensitive tax topics to avoid misguidance.

  • Pricing does not match value: Many users feel overcharged given the subpar service quality. Improvement: Offer more flexible pricing tiers, especially for startups, and include added-value services like quarterly reviews or annual consultations for higher plans.

  • Limited product functionality: Bench doesn’t meet certain user needs such as accrual-based accounting, mobile usage, or robust automation. Improvement: Expand to include accrual-based options, accelerate mobile app development, improve API integrations, and support third-party tools.

  • Trust and transparency: The abrupt 2024 shutdown shook user confidence. Improvement: Provide timely notice of major changes, guarantee data export, and include refund clauses in service contracts to protect prepaid users.

In conclusion, Bench.co must improve both its product and service dimensions. By transforming pain points into actionable upgrades—from system stability and richer functionality to customer support and pricing models—Bench can rebuild user trust. In today’s competitive digital bookkeeping market, user experience is key. Only by addressing these issues can Bench regain its position and maintain customer loyalty in the long term.

The Promise and Pain of AI Sales Development Representatives: A Field Report

· 5 min read

In the relentless chase to optimize sales pipelines, AI Sales Development Representatives (AI SDRs) have become one of the buzziest tools of 2025. They promise to automate prospecting, personalize outreach at scale, and drop qualified meetings onto your calendar—without the traditional headcount.

But are they actually delivering?

After talking to dozens of sales leaders and digging through hundreds of reviews across G2, Reddit, and Slack communities, I found a more complex story behind the hype.

AI Sales Development Representatives

The 11x Problem: High Expectations, Mixed Results

11x.ai has become the poster child of this category, claiming to make SDRs “11 times more productive.” It’s a bold promise—and one that sets the bar high.

“I expected the AI to research each prospect like a junior rep would,” one sales director told me. “But all I got were Mad Libs with company names filled in.”

This wasn’t an outlier. Across forums and customer chats, a common theme emerged: the emails feel automated, templated, and often too generic to land.

And when leads reply? The AI often stumbles. As one Reddit user put it:

“It can blast emails all day, but the moment someone says something unexpected, it short-circuits.”

This leaves a strange handoff experience—where prospects believe they’re chatting with a human, only to feel the switch when an actual rep steps in mid-convo.

What’s Actually Working

Despite the frustrations, there are places where AI SDRs shine:

  • Outreach volume: Teams consistently report a massive jump in top-of-funnel activity. One European team told me they now “run outreach 24/7” across time zones thanks to their AI reps.
  • Prospecting help: Tools like 11x.ai do a decent job sourcing leads. “The contact lists it finds are better than expected,” said one German user.
  • Personality insights: Humantic AI impressed several teams with surprisingly accurate personality profiles. “It’s like having a cheat code for the first call,” said a G2 reviewer.
  • Real-time coaching: Cresta takes a different approach—coaching human SDRs in real-time rather than replacing them. It’s especially useful for onboarding new reps or improving call quality without hiring a full-time trainer.

Beyond Performance: Hidden Pain Points

Go past the functionality issues, and deeper structural problems start to surface:

  • Locked-in contracts: Most platforms require 35,00035,000–60,000/year commitments with minimal ways to try before buying. “We’re stuck with a tool that doesn’t work for us,” said one buyer.
  • Technical hiccups: From bugs to laggy dashboards, users—especially in Europe—report reliability issues that break workflows.
  • Customization limits: If your audience is niche or your messaging complex, AI often struggles. “We tuned it for weeks,” said a B2B SaaS exec. “The emails still felt generic.”
  • Data security worries: With sensitive customer data flowing through these systems, several larger companies voiced concerns over how their information might be used—or reused.

The Strategic Dilemma: Build, Buy, or Augment?

Given the trade-offs, sales leaders are approaching AI SDRs in one of three ways:

  • The All-In Crowd: Typically fast-moving, high-volume orgs that prioritize scale. They’re willing to accept AI’s rough edges.
  • The Augmenters: Teams using AI to support (not replace) reps. They use tools like Regie.ai for drafting emails, Humantic for call prep, and keep humans in control of conversations.
  • The DIY Builders: Tech-savvy orgs building custom workflows on top of GPTs and internal data. It’s more work, but gives them control and avoids vendor lock-in.

What Needs to Improve

To move from “interesting” to indispensable, AI SDR vendors need to make real progress on a few fronts:

  1. Handle conversations, not just intros – The biggest gap is follow-through. If AI can’t respond naturally, the illusion breaks.
  2. Go beyond templates – True personalization should reference real business context, not just job titles and company names.
  3. Make pricing more flexible – Teams want to experiment before committing six figures.
  4. Fix the UX – Better onboarding, faster load times, and fewer bugs will go a long way.
  5. Allow deeper customization – Give companies tools to teach the AI their value props, messaging frameworks, and product nuance.

Where This Is Headed

The market seems to be splitting into two directions:

  • Vertical AI SDRs: Industry-specific tools trained on healthcare, finance, or manufacturing language, workflows, and regulations.
  • Lightweight assistants: More affordable tools that support reps with writing, prospecting, and call prep—without pretending to replace them.

The companies that lean into augmentation, not automation, may end up building more sustainable businesses.

The Bottom Line

AI SDRs are a classic example of the enterprise AI hype cycle. The pitch—an infinitely scalable digital sales team—is irresistible. But the reality is still catching up.

For most teams, the smart move today is targeted augmentation: Let AI do what it’s good at—prospecting, drafting, supporting—while keeping humans in the loop for objections, relationship-building, and closing.

Because in sales, as in life, the human touch still matters. Maybe now more than ever.

Have you used AI SDRs? What’s been your experience—worth the hype or too soon to tell?