Skip to main content

Nonviolent Communication (NVC)

· 2 min read

Why Practice Nonviolent Communication?

Improve communication quality by ==valuing everyone's needs==. ==Doubt and violence are manifestations of unmet needs==.

What NVC Is Not

  • It is not about appearing friendly.
  • It is not about getting others to do what we want; it concerns mutual understanding between people.

Ways to Strengthen Connections and Understanding Between People

  1. Express our feelings and needs vulnerably
    • Recognize ongoing feelings and needs
    • Expose the vulnerability of feelings and needs
  2. Actively listen to the feelings and needs of others
    • The core of empathetic listening: presence, focus, space, and care, ==along with verbal expression of feelings and needs==
    • Do not give advice, make judgments, comfort, tell stories, sympathize, analyze, or explain, ...
    • Regardless of what is said, the key is to listen to the other person's feelings, needs, opinions, and requests

For example: ==Because you need... so you feel...?==

Engaging in These Behaviors Can Lead to Distance Between Us

  • Evaluating others, making judgments, labeling, analyzing, criticizing, comparing, etc.
  • Worth considering (i.e., certain behaviors deserve punishment or reward)
    • Demands (not accepting others' choices; wanting to punish those who do not act according to one's own ideas)
    • Refusing to choose or take responsibility (keywords: have to, should have, guess they will, they made me do it, etc.)
References: